THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[needingadvice]

just had to come on here and write. having a tough couple of hours - this is so hard, but i gather from what everyone has said the first couple of days /week are the hardest. i thought id bolcked my ex online but he logged on earlier whilst i was posting on here. he must have saw i was online and logged off immediately. Now normally, i would have felt the need to email him "why did you log off"....but this challenge stopped me and i dont think without this i would have done so well. its really tough at minute, the tears come freely and everything makes me think of him. i felt stronger this morning but feel weak now but i want to heal, i dont want to feel like this anymore i have for far too long, and i know this is the only way. i dont want to win him back, but i do also want to show him my strength as i've clung onto him for far too long and it's hitting me how easy i've made it for him over last few weeks

[pilip99]

Day 2 starts for me today. Woke up, thinking about her still as usual. I'm trying not to wait by the phone for her to call. A call did come yesterday from a number that I didn't recognize, I don't know if it was her or anything, but it made me suspicious. I'm trying to plan out tonight with a few buddies to catch a movie or something. School starts this monday for both of us... I don't know what is going to happen. I miss her a lot though;

[KoopaTroopa]

Does anybody else feel like mornings are the worst? I keep waking up and having that initial moment of "Oh no, I know something in my life is VERY wrong, but I don't know what!" panic, and then a second later it hits me and I start feeling really down for the next half hour or so. I've been looking at some of the other posts in this thread, and morning heartsickness seems to be a recurring theme.

[nym9876]

i know exactly what you mean. the worst is when you dream about being with them, then wake up in bed by yourself knowing they wont be there. when you wake up, get on your computer and log right onto this website. thats what i do, and it helps immensely

[pilip99]

i know what both of you mean, mornings seem to be the worst, this website is the best...

[rsxguy520]

Day 2:

 

Woke up this morning feeling fine. Worked out today like the usual.

 

Things were going great until one of my ex-gerlfriends from high school (never had a serious thing) called me this morning telling me she saw my ex (current) her with that guy (she started having feelings for behind my back) at the mall. Don't Worry that ex is like a real close friend to me, she's the only ex i still talk to that have a solid friendship. anyways..

 

At first it started to bug me again, but my ex-ex was telling how ugly and stuff the guy was she with, and how she gonna feel sorry for her someday. In a way i just tried to ignore it, but i gave it like 2-3 minutes to sink in my head, and i just said, F*** it, watever. Then one of my other friends called me out of the blue talking to me about the ex's "bestfriend"....i was like great, what more drama usless info are you going to give me today.

 

seems like karma hit her hard. Turns out the Guy she's with now is having problems with his friends because of her. i guess the honeymoon stage is over them. Total Rebound like i thought it was going to be. Seems like his friends and him finally saw who she really was and automatically are trying to tell this guy that she is SUPER IMMATURE FOR HER TO THE MAX. and that he can find someone better preferably age wise that is more mature for him. He being 27 she being 19. obviously..anyways..that kind of got to me for a little bit, thinking about how my ex's current new guy is bestfriends with this guy. Thinking hey maybe it'll happen to them too. you know the saying, "Bro's before hoe's.." But i really don't care, i guess it was a thought that just occurred to me. oh well.

 

Anyways today was a bizarre day for me. hopefully tonight well be better.

 

Update:12:04 AM

 

night went pretty well. spent a lot of time with one of my bestfriends and my friends sister. im starting to think she's pretty hott. lol. i got a few annoyance with seeing cars that my ex has. but nothing biggie. everything pretty much went smooth sailing.=)

[annalise23]

It's day 2 for me (only just seen this thread)

 

He has text me and so far i have resisted getting back in touch. Its hard though, especially when reading 'i miss you'

 

Just trying to stay strong and keep busy!!

[andreap]

I suppose this is day 2 for me of the challenge...although I actually went NC on 12/19/06...my ex has tried to contact, but i am not responding and will NOT respond since every time I have done so over the past year or so it has resulted in us getting friendlier but no commitment or change on his part whatsoever.....so enought!! It's hard. Like many on this thread I have been working out a lot more again and keeping myself busy w/ friends which seems to help a lot.

[KoopaTroopa]

Day 9 of NC, day 2 of challenge.

 

Woke up this morning feeling really down. Went for a walk, which helped. Every day it's getting a little better, but I find myself being more upset by little things in life that normally wouldn't upset me. I got into an argument with one of my roommates about the dishes of all random things, and I wanted to cry afterwards. It's just...weird.

 

I played Dance Dance Revolution for a while to get my mind off things. I finally beat my first six-foot song. Didn't beat it very WELL, mind you, but still beat it, which I've been trying to do FOREVER and finally did. I'm going over to my friend's place later to watch some episodes of House.

[Lady Bugg]

Update: He emailed me twice tonight, but I haven't opened either of them yet. On the subject line of one email he said he tried to call me...(but that line has been disconnected..not because of him).Anyway...not sure if I want to read it yet. My brother told me to wait as long as I possibly can before

reading it.....because once I open the email he will know I have read it.

Anyway.....not doing anything just yet.

[keefy1972]

Hang in there LB! Your brother is one smart mo fo!! Wait as long as you can stand before even reading it.

 

As for me, I am on day two and I feel pretty good, because I kept busy. I tried out a new recipe and it turned out delicious. Pineapple-Lemon Chicken. Was quite tasty. I did that after a nice strenuous workout involving a bowflex, a bean, some barbells, and a gerbel. Was a good time.

 

Anyway, thats it for today's update. Hope everyone is having a good day.

[Lady Bugg]

Well..I figured I'd see what he had to say..and it turns out..not much worth

responding to...the first:

 

 

Is it my imagination.....or did you send me something and then unsend it again?

Oh well....I hope you're having a great new years.

I've had my kids this week....and it's been great.....I really needed it.

 

Hope you're doing well!!

 

2nd: And..I tried to call you ...A couple of times....but it said the number was disconnected.

Oh well....just thought I'd let you know.

 

 

That's all he said. Is this worth responding to or is he fishing?

My last email to HIm was Tuesday and he's just now getting around to writing me back....

 

PS: This will be the first time EVER I have have not replied to an email to him if I don't...so I think he will

wonder why I'm not responding....Should I bother even telling him? Thoughts?

[keefy1972]

Telling him what??

 

I think you had it right when you said it wasn't really worth responding to and I agree. Let it go because the man has a line in the water. Don't bite. You're doing great right now. Just go with that feeling knowing he did try to contact you and you've made the decision to stand firm.

 

Be strong!

[Lady Bugg]

Thanks Keefy. I thought the same. I have not responded....not much reason to. I must say it feels good being on THIS end for a change. The one doing NOTHING. WOW....What a rush

[keefy1972]

Run with that feeling girl!!! Will help make these next few days go by faster, until it wears off a bit, but until then you need to enjoy it.

[Firedancer03]

To Lady Bugg: Nope girl, don't reply! He didn't send anything worth replying to! He's just curious, probably noticing you're not around, and he would retreat again once he got the security of knowing that you were still there! Not good! LoL. You know what to do, NC all the way baby!

 

 

As for me, today was day 1 of the challenge. Pretty much went by without a hitch, except I had a dream about him last night for the first time in a few weeks so I woke up thinking about him. But those thoughts were quickly banished because I had to pack for my vacation! Heading off to Airy Zonie early tomorrow a.m.! This is going to be a great 13 or so days where I will have so much to do and see I probably won't really think of him much at all. *God willing* Tomorrow and the next day are going to be really long travel days courtesy of Amtrak, so I'm going to have to find ways to keep myself busy when I'm just sitting there for hours.

[pilip99]

Day 9 of NC, day 2 of challenge.

 

Woke up this morning feeling really down. Went for a walk, which helped. Every day it's getting a little better, but I find myself being more upset by little things in life that normally wouldn't upset me. I got into an argument with one of my roommates about the dishes of all random things, and I wanted to cry afterwards. It's just...weird.

 

I played Dance Dance Revolution for a while to get my mind off things. I finally beat my first six-foot song. Didn't beat it very WELL, mind you, but still beat it, which I've been trying to do FOREVER and finally did. I'm going over to my friend's place later to watch some episodes of House.

 

koopatroopa you play ddr too? nice! do u play in the arcade as well?

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Day 1 of the NC challenge (though I had about 126 day head start.)

 

I spent the day as I do all Saturdays: waking up, reading news and going to my fight club. We did an ab work out, practised boxing and then broke out the arnis sticks. Came home and surfed the rest of the day. I've been thinking a lot about my wife and things that we did when we first dated. It's so strange: I look at pictures of us in the first years of our relationship and I can't hold back the tears. I see recent pictures of us and I feel nothing. All day I've been unhappy, and looking for ways to distract myself from working out my sad feelings even though I know there won't be any progress if I avoiding them.

[elithepi]

I bombed people...I'm moving...I was in a LDR and now I'm moving back and I went through her town. I called. Feel like a dork. I was wanting closure since the last time I saw her was when we were together. Damn phone break ups!

I'm a dork. A looser. Too weak. Pathetic.

On to the next day.

[Lady Bugg]

It's ok Elithepi.....start over again. It's a challenge. No one is judging you. We ALLLLL have been there.

 

Another quick update: I never replied to his emails.Instead I just went to bed...Got up a few hours later, and he'd emailed me again:

 

"Just thinking of you..."

Haven't replied.

 

The guy disappears for a week..with no word whatsoever...(he has a habit of doing this) and all of a sudden he's "thinking of me". Please.

It sort of makes me angry....considering a few days ago I was SO upset I hadn't heard from him. Of course you have to remember....this is a guy who is used to getting lengthy emails from me...or emails telling him about my life, my feelings...etc....with no provocation on HIS part. I am beginning to think that No Contact is simply a quiet, dignified way of teaching people HOW to treat us, without saying a word. Had I known it would be as easy as ignoring him, I would have REALLY stuck to it ages ago.

 

Anyway...hanging in there.

[belinda_simone]

Lady Bugg! what ever you do.. don't reply! Don't give him the oppourtunity to make you feel desperately sad, AGAIN! Keep the power.. Keep control.. Keep NC.. You will be SO glad you did! Stay in charge of your feelings by not letting him disappoint you. Keep with the program.. Keep with Super Dave's NC challange!

It will be easier when you decide NOT to open any emails.. That is what i am doing with this challenge.. deleting the emails WITHOUT reading them!

You can do it!

You really can!

good luck and god bless! x

[Mr. Stealth]

i dint contact my ex for about 8 month.

and still i miss her and sometimes when i think about it i wouldn't take her back to start all the mess over again.

or bouth of us must have changed enormly.

[WildIrishRose]

I've been in NC mode since July 8, 2006..6 months and healing! Feeling better!

[Lady Bugg]

Thanks Simone....I agree with you.

This all makes me wonder if this is just a game to him.

He has NO idea how his actions have affected me.I am simply

sick of trying to explain it to him...

 

So, I am holding strong

Best of luck to all of you out here....you can do it!!

[Aerozeppelin]

1 day down and while it feels good to have not cheated in any way, I feel the withdrawl kick in at times throughout the day. I will keep my head up as high as I can though and stick this out. I love him more than anyone in the world but I've recognized how unhealthy it's been obsessively wanting him back. Why the hell does everything remind you of the person when they're not around anymore and why do those memories look so good to you in hindsight? So evil how things work. I wish the bastard would miss me too.