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elithepi

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Everything posted by elithepi

  1. elithepi
    You are me....but in Orlando. Be patient, yes. You'll meet someone new without even intending to. It's the way it happens. The old saying is true. Just when we stop looking, love will find us. Has happened every time.
  2. elithepi
    There is nothing wrong with expecting a phone call from someone after having sex if it was not a one-night-stand. I don't see this as a one-night-stand because there was some communication before hand and what is wrong with expecting communication afterwards. I'm all about free sex and have had a lot of "flings" but hell, if you're talking to someone and eventually have sex, call the person and say, "hey, thanks for a great evening."
  3. elithepi
    It's good you didn't get excited when the phone rang. But since it's the first time in a couple of weeks, don't let the call set you back two weeks, lol. I think you are slowly healing like all of us but you will be truly healed when you don't feel the need to ask us. I think it's great you were able to have a cool conversation with him. Keep it up and look forward. You are right, if it's not meant to be, it won't and if so, it will, so there is really nothing to worry about. The future is all you have.
  4. elithepi
    So true...We tend to make our own worst nightmare come true....
  5. elithepi
    If you guys have been talking and stuff and then you two had sex, he should call you...... Apparently there was a small bit of communication established, so he should call. He's a jerk if he doesn't. But I believe you should get to know someone longer before having sex to avoid jerks be-it male or female..
  6. elithepi
    Yes, I want to be with her. I miss everything about her. Keep trying to convince myself life doesn't suck without her.
  7. elithepi
    There was physical attraction that began the friendship...immediate cuddling, no sex. That went on 10 months. And that is unheard of from me. What I mean is, I liked the cuddling and waiting better than what it's turned out to be. And she is VERY attractive. Everything I wanted, except the breaking up part. She can't hang out with an ex lover very well. It bugs me. I actually really LIKED this girl. I fell in love. I had a friend. Ugh.
  8. elithepi
    Today is her birthday. I sent her a "card" with the print of my avatar/picture. Forget any NC talk. So she loved the picture. Laughed about it. (I snaked it off this site!) We were great drinking buddies. lol ....it sucks when sex screws up a great friendship. I just want to hang out. Play some Yahtzee, Boggle or scrabbble then pass out on her couch. Whatever.
  9. elithepi
    HDD that is a positive I have taken. It is nice to have finally met someone who is ideal. It's just a bit discouraging to have lost the ideal person. It makes me think that if it took me so many partners through the years to find the ideal person will I go through the same drawn out process. BUT, now that I know what I like, I CAN be picky knowing what I think I want. And it's that catch again, really she wasn't perfect, she left me.
  10. elithepi
    I went out on a stupid "blind date" and it was torture. Left a bad taste in my mouth. It's been 3 months. Yeah I still miss her but I feel the need to get back out. Maybe not date or if I do, avoid dating an unknown. I realize, thinking about it, I shouldn't have a problem if I find someone interesting enough to me I'll be able to put the ex in the back of my mind in her proper place. I just had a really bad experience recently on that blind date and it has left a real bad taste in my mouth.
  11. elithepi
    Jayar, you are correct. But I don't even want to waste one minute of my time on the ones that don't messure up. I guess I'm jaded. lol Guitarman, it is a catch 22, exactly. Pinkelephant. Yeah I may have put her on a pedestal but the ONLY thing I didn't like about her was the way she broke it off. Everything else was really what I wanted. But that is another catch. If someone that was everything I wanted but turned out to hurt me....well, you know what I'm saying.
  12. elithepi
    Ok people, I'm trying to move on but I have a problem. I'd like to date around. Shake off the dust. But what do you do if the ex was everything (besides not wanting to be with you) you ever wanted. Sexy, funny, warm, affectionate, great personality, super charming, and again, very attractive. How do I overcome "the bar being set high"? I'm apprehensive about dating because I'm afraid I would constantly compare the date to the ex and it result in a bad date and only be a setback for my healing. The catch is that I feel the need to date so I can build self confidence back up and just get out and about.
  13. elithepi
    Hey, I was pretty bad off last night and it's coming up on three months. I find myself wanting to initiate a meeting with her but I know what the answer would be. I also realize I'm not ready at all, career wise and emotionally. I just put those (false) hopes of meeting up again on down the line into the future. Until I'm a better person. I tell myself, "Not now, I'm not ready." I don't give up hope, I put it in the future. Then when the time comes, I know I really won't care about it anymore. When those dark desperate feelings seem too much to bare, put them and the solution to them into the future, mentally, when you can deal with them. Set them aside. Tell yourself, "Yes, I feel this way but I'm not ready to solve it yet. In the future when I have my crap together is when I will deal with this." Recognize it then put it in it's place. EDIT: We obsess with the thoughts of the ex and it consumes us and stifles us. Put the obsession into the future to drive us to carry on!
  14. elithepi
    Music helps. When I'm all down and out, it's good to get in the car and crank up some tunes. It gets the rhythm back. I feel myself returning. Then it's good to listen to those songs that make me feel sad. I feel it purges what I harbor during the day. A good song is "What a Fool Believes" The Doobie Brothers
  15. elithepi
    been a few months. breaking out the tunes I like but were a part of that thing that happened. stir it back up. cleanse those associations. I like my music.
  16. elithepi
    About the time slowing at a snails pace..... I was thinking. As we age and get older, many of us complain about how time flies. Soooo, if it's slow now, make the best out of the slow time! Put all this in favor of us! David Byrne (lead singer of the Talking Heads) once wrote, "It's the truly sad people that get the most out of life." Empower this pain and take that energy (it's draining to cry) toward self improvement. When I first encountered the breakup, I wanted to do things about myself to impress her. Mountain climbing, be an astronaut, save the world, become a rock star... What ever. She's gone. Now...... what do I really want to do? That is the question for all of us. Alone again and what will make US happy with ourselves? Think about it people. You may find the one you love forever and suddenly they may be gone despite their desire. The lesson here is, we MUST be happy with ourselves.
  17. elithepi
    We are going to be OK people! Look at us all posting on here. Yes, we hurt. Yes, it seems never ending. Yes, there are a lot of us on here posting about pain. We will get through it. Just the sheer number of us on here proves that. Almost everyone feels or has felt like we do. It's hard, yes. But the pain will make us all wiser. I hate this more than any of us. I still cry at the drop of a hat. I make stupid phone calls. But we WILL get through this. People tell us ,"Time heals." I hate that. Time is going at a snails pace right now. Sleep doesn't help. It's been two and a half months and I'm just now starting to have dreams about her. But we will get through it. Just think, all the red flags we chose to ignore, all the BS we put up with. Now we know. This hurt really hurts. But think about it. We have freaking computers to type on while other humans are starving to death or being blown up by car bombs or others are in jail. We will be OK. Six billion people on the earth. Can you imagine what six billion looks like. How many strans of hair on your head? Not near six billion. Just remember, we are not afraid to love and that is what is important. We are not afraid.
  18. elithepi
    I thought NC was a terrible thought in my situation and I ignored the idea. But after what I have gone through, I wish I had done it day one. I thought that my ex and myself were on the same page but apparently not. She denied any face to face contact and it drove me crazy and only made me angry. It all depends on the situation. I thought I had the best mate in the world and could not imagine having no contact after the breakup. Well, NC would have made things better in the end. NC'ing it for a week or two isn't rude or hateful, it allows time to ease the intensity of a hard emotional blow. Then you decide where to go from there. I don't like the whole preaching of a blanket statement of NC but it is a logical thing to do if you are hurt and lost.
  19. elithepi
    Alright. I just read my own thread. What really struck a chord with me is the line, "It's like were still together in my head." That's what's bugging me guys....the damn over the phone breakup and have been since denied any face to face contact. That totally undemines my perception of what was going on in the relationship. That is what is killing me. I cannot accept the fact that a person of my fancy, that I chose, could hurt me. All the pain, we do to ourselves. It's not the mate. It's us. And all this hurt we feel is actually our disappointment of ourselves.
  20. elithepi
    I've been trying to get it together. It's been two months since I was dumped over the phone over a relationship that started out real easy and casual but then I moved away and the long distance thing made her feel a lot of pressure. I have since quit my job. I'm back somewhat close to her. I've made the typical * * * of myself over the phone. And have been able to get it together enough to have some conversation with her since. I'm still head over heels over this girl. We dated for a year and a half. It's like no time has past since I last saw her. I have not gotten any face to face closure. It's like we're still together in my head. We never had any fight or argument at all and we always laughed when we were together. I'm spinning wheels here and don't know what to do. I could step right back into the relationship without missing a step. I feel like a schmuck, a push over, a looser. I'm having the hardest time to let go. I was even married for 5 years before and this is so much harder. Oh well....I'm sure my complaint is not so much different than the others. I just want my friend back and I miss her a whole lot.
  21. elithepi
    Just remember...before you ever met her, she was with someone else. I know the feeling and one way I deal with it is I think back to years before I met my recent ex and realize she was with someone else then. It's not a panacea but it makes me think, "what's the difference? I wasn't torn up before I knew her when she was with someone else...." Just an idea.
  22. elithepi
    The whole experience made me realize that I don't have to get back out there. Before, I was thinking, "Man, I gotta go out and socialize and date." But now I feel better about not going out. The "need" is gone. I was probably good that it wasn't so good. Otherwise I'd get sucked into another potential relationship without enough time from the last one.
  23. elithepi
    Ha ha ha....I went on a "date" last night. Poor girl. It was terrible. She never had a chance. NOBODY would have had a chance. I laugh, not at the girl, but at me. I was dumped two months ago and thought a change of scenery would be good. I felt trapped. I wanted to talk about my situation but I didn't. Nothing was happening. It was extremely awkward for me.
  24. elithepi
    It never snows where I live. At least not often. Well, tonight it's snowing and I really want to be with her. Weather is a fun experience to share with someone close. I hope all of you are well.
  25. elithepi
    that is it.....it's what I'm going on....2 months for me.
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