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Lady Bugg

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Everything posted by Lady Bugg

  1. Why do you CARE what he thinks?? This is NOT about HIM, it's about YOU. You need to get it out of your head that you guys are going to end up together.This is what is holding you back. If he is angry, who cares?? He asked for this. You didn't. I think YOU are the one who needs to get good and angry here. STOP placating him.Stop worrying what wil happen next. As long as you do you will NEVER move forward. Just imagine the worst scenerio in six months....him telling you he has met another woman and no longer wants to talk to you. What then??? Do you want to wait around for that??? Think about it....
  2. NTL...I think these are extremely important steps for you right now. They may be extreme...but nothing or no one is worth losing your self worth or self esteem over. I think in the long run doing this will empower you..I really do. Don't second guess your decision.You have done all you can do to save this relationship. Right now you are simply self preserving..... Hang in there....it'll get better.
  3. NTL..This is going to be harsh.....but the reality is..YOU are doing this to yourself.No one but you.This guy has given you a MILLION reasons to walk away, and you haven't. You hang on by the little string of hope he gives you that he MIGHT want to be with you one day. This has gone on for months.... I can no longer even blame this guy for stringing you along. At this point in time...you are no further along because YOU choose to remain in denial that it is over. Sorry if this s too blunt or hurtful..it's not intended to be..I just think you need a reality check.
  4. Yes....he can't believe NTL has the AUDACITY to move on with her life, and not allow him to treat her like dirt anymore. That's what it boils down to. She is no longer under his "spell"..... NTL....I REALLY hope you don't fall for this crap. As Catren said...this guy needs his head examined..and a serious reality check. I am proud you able to not contact him for as long as you did. See? You CAN do it.....you have much more inner strength than you think you do. I really hope you kick this guy to the curb though....
  5. Yeah NTL....I think if you changed your phone number it would blow his mind. Don't do it for a reaction though........do it for YOU!!!!!!!! Who cares WHY he said what he said?? The fact is he said it.He INTENDED to hurt you..and he did....whenYOU were distraught. He is a JERK. Let me tell you something..if this guy is sincere and hell bent on being with you..or making this up to you..he will move mountains to do it. Right now....... at the VERY least he deserves to be deleted from your life without a second thought....... I'm glad you're not contacting him.....hang in there.....
  6. It's ok to feel sad NTL.....It's ok to grieve this. I think in time though..you will realize this man was not GOOD for you. He never treated you well, he took you for granted....and in MY opinion he emotionally abused you. You can do what you wish.....but it is MY hope you no longer give this man the satisfaction of your company or your time. You seem SO sweet...and loyal. Don't waste it on a man who is going to crap all over you. Cry, scream, puch the wall.........talk to us, talk to your friends...but don't call him or contact him. Believe me.....he doesn't deserve it.
  7. Thanks for adding that Catren.I think NTL needs our support more than ever right now..........You can do this NTL.... Just hang in there.... This guy is ONLY concerned about his OWN needs...and his OWN ego. Screw him. He had his chance and he blew it. It will take more than a few pretty words to make this better....a HELL of a lot more..
  8. OMG NTL...This guy is a trip. He is DEFINETELY playing on your emotions....and trying to make YOU the bad guy for HIS actions. Please..please please don't do this. How many times did you text him, email him...etc etc etc............ sitting on pins and needles waiting for a reply?? Now that he sees you DO in fact have a backbone, he wants to be Mr. Nice Guy....and maybe One day things will work out".........yet ANOTHER ploy to keep you under his thumb. I hope someone else posts and advises you NOT to contact this guy. He is BAD news..............and I think with some distance....and NC you will se this for yourself. Take care..OK??
  9. NTL.....My advice would be DON'T DO ANYTHING. It's amazing....how this guy has used you as an emotional punching bag for months..yet the minute you decide you've had enough, he switches gears. This guy is the poster child for emotional abuse. NTL...you have put your heart out there soooo many times for this guy. Walking on eggshells, sacrificing your OWN feelings, stuffing your feelings.....the list is endless. THen in return for that the guy screams at you, curses at you...blames you. Does this sound like someone who DESERVES a response?? This guy needs a nice LONG dose of silence. Anything else would only make him feel like HE is in control. For once YOU are control...take it and run with it.......... And DON'T worry if HE is angry at you. Or if this means it's the "end"......... This is a time for you to TRULY see things for what they are.....and see him for what HE is. Use this time for YOU.
  10. NTL... I think you're putting wayyy too much of your energy in this guy. Seriously. Your happiness seems to depend on what mood this guy is in on a day to day basis. Ask yourself why you are doing this to yourself? He put an "away" message up....that's not a big deal. It doesn't mean anything except that maybe he was busy or maybe didn't wish to be disturbed. Why do you take every nuance or NON response as a personal rejection? This guys actions are clearly speaking volumes to you. Pay attention to that...and NOT what he does or does not say. This guy CAN call you, he CAN email you, he CAN text you...and he hasn't. You can wait it out if you wish...but MY suggestion to you would be to assume it is over unless he makes some SERIOUS efforts to contact you. I don't mean to be nagative..I just don;t want to encourage you to continue in any self defeating behavior...and me advising you to pursue this guy any longer would be just that. Good luck....
  11. As an aside....you're story reminds me of the movie "Sleeping With the Enemy"...if you haven't seen it....watch it. I have a feeling that's how you're situation would turn out....
  12. YIKES Anitar...to get THAT upset over someone not folding their clothes..... WOW. I think people like this are EXTREMELY controlling....and I think with intensive counseling they can be helped......but seriously...I think you're best bet is to be glad it's over. I think you may have really dodged a bullet with this guy..... Do you know how he was in previous relationships? That may give you a clue....because Past behavior is usually the best predictor of future behavior. Remember that.....
  13. NTL.... I'm going out on a limb here..and disagree with what everyone else is saying. This guy sounds like an insensitive , self centered * * * * *. Sorry for the language....but I think it is time you grew a spine and not only kicked him to the curb....but do it WITHOUT TELLING HIM. Don't do NC...just disappear and start living your life with somene who is WILLING to communicate with you!!!! YOU are NOT a robot dammit...you are a HUMAN being with emotions and feelings for this person. If that's too much for HIM to bear..then HE is NOT the person for you..PERIOD. Stop twisting yourself, your emotions, your feelings in a pretzel to pacify HIM. What about YOU?????? What has he done to assure YOU??? NOTHING............he won't even RESPOND to you........ GOD that ticks me off. He is asking you to do all this stuff because of how HE feels...yetI ahve not ONCE read where he has reassured you..or tried to make YOU feel better..in ANY way. Please................please ..please.....consider ditching this guy. It just sounds like WAYYYY too much work.
  14. Hmmmm Jordan....I must say I agree with the others. Her behavior sounds..ummmmm fishy to me. Did she send you pics or anything? maybe she is not who she portrayed herself to be....It happens in that medium. Best of luck in your search!!
  15. Lady Bugg

    Why?

    I am just curious.....and please...I am not stereotyping.....but since I am a woman who dates MEN..I can only relate to this with MEN and not women. That is....why do men SUDDENLY become interested...or "self righteous" when you have dated them for months or even years...taking you for granted or treating you like crap....why do they suddenly seem more interested when you tell them you have met someone else...or are involved with someone else? Is it because they are GENUINELY afraid of losing you or is it just their big FAT ego??? Even WORSE of course is when you tell them..and they act like they SUDDENLY care about your happiness..."I hope he treats you good' etc etc.... Any ladies relate?
  16. haha....Actually...Botox gives you a more rested or relaxed appearance. It doesn't completely paralyze your face...it just keeps you from furrowing your brow..or "scowling"....which can make you look angrier or more tired than you really are.
  17. Thanks for everyones compliments. I do appreciate it... I just want everyone to know I'm not a shallow vain person. I was just curious to see how effective botox is...and the bonus was that it not only helps aesthetically...but mentally as well.
  18. Botox lasts between 4-5 months usually.....and usually after getting it a few times..the results tend to last longer.
  19. they inject it between the eyebrows...and around the eyes..the most common area.
  20. It was $360.00 for what I had done....and you really only need it about twice a year.
  21. Ok...I am like any other woman. I have a vain side...so I decided to try out Botox..because I just turned 36..and I wanted to see how effective it really is. Well....I got it done yesterday...and while the full effects haven't taken place ..I can DEFINETELY see a difference.. but something happened that shocked me even more. That is....that I am in SUCH a better, more even keeled mood. Seriously. I had heard that Botox was used to treat patients who were depressed..and I also know it's used to treat severe migraines...neither of which I suffer....BUT I have to say..it WORKS. Anyway..I went online and searched Botox and depression..and sure enough, several articles about it popped up.Apparently not being able to scowl or frown emits tthis to your brain which basically keeps you from feeling sad or depressed. I am not encouraging anyone to go get Botox if you're feeling depressed... but I can attest to the fact that it DOES make you feel better. Just wanted to share.
  22. Maria, I guess that WAS the answer..LOL I guess what i meant was..that just simply waiting for time to pass is NOT helpful..So, YES, keeping busy with things...like volunteering, DOES help and not only that, but it makes you feel more useful. Personally I think that thinking of others during a time of duress is extremely theraputic. I am sure counseling helps as well..... The key is to NOT get caught up in the misery, you know?
  23. Truthfully Maria....I think the passage of time helps...BUT....I think where a lot of people get messed up here is that they count the days....and then think they are supposed to MAGICALLY feel better. Emotions are not set on a timetable. Like for instance..with the No Contact Challenge.....that was a GREAT idea.....because the fact is that distance does help you heal faster. That being said though...I think if you're not doing things within that time , then you may as well not even bother. By doing things..I mean doing things that are TRULY helping you become a better person..like volunteering, etc. Just sitting around and marking days off the calendar...are NOT "healing". TRUE healing takes time.....and you will get there, so don' be so hard on yourself. You're doing great!
  24. Personally...I tend to think that people tend to be attracted to those who are opposite of them......BUT..I think they are most COMPATIBLE with people who are similar to themselves. Ie... a couch potato and a party animal....usually a fun match for a couple of months..until the couch potato gets sick of the bar scene, and the party animal gets sick of watching Happy Days reruns. Simply put.....I think it is a short lived possibility of it working out. of course I'm no expert.....that's only my opinion. Only time will really tell...
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