KoopaTroopa

annalise - if you have it in you to do it, BLOCK HIM. It sounds to me like he doesn't want *you*, he just wants you to validate him. You didn't, so he got PO'ed, and resorted to verbal abuse, then email harassment just because you didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. If you can bring yourself to do it, block the guy. You don't deserve that crap.

LAME!! If she and your mom had been really close or something, that would be completely different, and hell, it would even be different if the concern she expressed was for you. But given what she said ("tell your mom hi" when she doesn't even know her), it sounds like she's using your mother's surgery as an excuse to contact you, which is...well...lame, and just kind of low. IMHO either ignore it outright or take Juliana's suggestion - send a brief but polite response thanking her for her concern, and then ignore her.

Day 12 of NC, day 5 of challenge. I almost broke down and contacted the ex, so instead I called my mom. My mom is wonderful and I am SO so lucky to have parents who have been so understanding through this whole mess. I ended up pretty much just crying to her for 45 solid minutes, which is probably kind of pathetic, but it made me feel a ton better to just be able to get it out. I really, really missed my ex a ton today, and I keep sitting here wondering if she misses me too. I know it shouldn't matter, because I need to get over her either way, but I still can't help but wonder if she's thinking about me, even if it's just a little. As odd as it may seem, sometimes I wish she and I didn't have so much in common, or that there had been bitter fights, or I had at least SOME excuse to convince myself I'm better off without her. She was admittedly cold and said a few downright cruel things toward the end, but she did nothing unforgivable, and 95% of the memories are wonderful. That does NOT make this easy.

I recently got out of a relationship that broke up in part because a vindictive third party who felt I had "wronged" her decided she had some sort of divine right to try and mess things up as revenge on me. As far as I'm concerned, it's simply inexcusable to destroy other people's relationships because of personal vendettas - seriously, don't do it. Granted, I'm likely just biased because I was on the receiving end of a "breaking them up for revenge" scenario, but IMHO it is a low road to take, a cruel thing to do, and there are nearly always innocent bystanders who get hurt in the process, regardless of how deserving you feel your actual target might be. If one or both people involved in the relationship is a jerk (cheater, whatever), it will come back to bite them soon enough. One thing I've found out the hard way - some people are just pieces of scum, but the best revenge of all is knowing that they have to go through life being scum and that they'll constantly be getting spanked by karma. It's also good revenge to let a jerk see with their own eyes that you are happy and successful without their garbage in your life. Want revenge on your cheating ex? Be fabulous, so when she messes up THIS relationship too (and if she's a serial scumbag, she will) you'll be happily gone from her life and way the hell out of her league if she tries to come crawling back. Actively taking revenge on a jerk shows the jerk that they're worth your time, and lets the jerk know they hurt you. Jerks don't deserve the satisfaction of knowing either. ...and that concludes my drunken soapbox rant for the evening.

It's 4am, and I can't believe I'm posting here instead of sleeping, but I went drinking with friends tonight. Yes, I know, normally that would be the WORST thing to do, let alone be happy about, but it was actually very significant. Drunk dialing was an all-out ritual between me and my ex, and a rather treasured one at that. Even after we broke up (when we were attempting the "just friends" thing) we exchanged many drunken and rather hilarious phonecalls, IMs, and other exchanges. Tonight was the first night since initiating NC that I felt confident enough to go near alcohol, in that I was SURE I'd be able to fight off the urge to call or text her once any degree of intoxication set in. SUCCESS. And I didn't even have to have my friends confiscate my cellphone either!

I'd do it all again and make some changes if I could, but even if I couldn't make changes, I'd still do it all again. The happiest memories of my entire life are of the time I shared with her, and I would never ever give that up. I have regrets about how the relationship turned out, and how I conducted myself at certain points, but I could never regret the relationship itself, and I could definitely never regret loving her.

Haha, admittedly, I saw an ad for American Idol the other day and started fantasizing about not only being on the show, but getting into the top 12 and singing tons of "better off without you" style breakup songs that my ex would totally know were aimed at her. MASSIVELY immature, admittedly, but it made me feel better for a few minutes. XP

Hey, you too Parsley! It was definitely good to talk to someone who's in a similar situation as I am. (And yeah, my ex did that too! Went from "I love you so much" to having no time for me in a relatively short time. Was definitely a head trip. I know some of what caused it, but some of it is still just like... * * *. Bah!) Aaaanyways, have a good night, and good luck with the rest of the challenge!

Parsley - My ex was the same way. At first I was worried I was calling and texting too much and that I was smothering her, and she was just like "Are you crazy? That's not even possible!" complete with indignation at the very idea. Then she just slowly had less and less time for me, to the point where she got annoyed if I wanted to talk to her more than once a week. (We had an LDR as well.) I just saw you live in England - LOL yeah, probably not the ideal time to be texting people right now. Yay for good friends though. I'll tell you one thing - if nothing else, a difficult breakup can definitely show you who your good friends are. Especially the ones that come pick you up at 2:30 am.

Parsley - ugh, I hear you! When my ex and I were still together, she'd send me drunken texts sometimes just to tell me she loved me, and we'd goof around on AIM at all hours of the night, making fun of online fandoms, trading pics, and just having fun. I remember when she'd tell me she was going to go out drinking with friends, I'd wonder what kind of crazy text I was going to end up getting - sweet, goofy, or just plain incoherent. It slowly happened less and less toward the end of the relationship, but geez the temptation to text or IM is SO hard to overcome! You got any friends you can send texts to instead? I ended up doing that at one point after my ex and I broke up - started a prank-text war with a really good friend. It was lots of fun and took my mind off my ex.

Day 11 of NC, day 4 of challenge. I actually woke up feeling pretty good today! This is the first time since initiating NC that I didn't wake up feeling massively depressed, so I'm hoping this keeps up. I learned how to play cribbage and gin rummy last night. Got my butt stomped pretty good at the former, but did fairly well at the latter. I also made cookies with some friends, which were decidedly NOT diet friendly, but they tasted good so who cares. (Er...the cookies that is, not the friends. XP) And philip - suggestion noted and very much appreciated! I'll hopefully be at Best Buy sometime this weekend.

Yeah, I love DDR! Unfortunately I don't get to play in the arcade as often as I'd like (the only DDR machine is clear accross town and in kind of a seedy arcade), but I have Mario Mix at home for my Gamecube (MASSIVELY silly, I know, but it's fun!) and I play Stepmania with friends sometimes to practice the "real" DDR songs. I'm probably going to get the Playstation version soon.

Day 9 of NC, day 2 of challenge. Woke up this morning feeling really down. Went for a walk, which helped. Every day it's getting a little better, but I find myself being more upset by little things in life that normally wouldn't upset me. I got into an argument with one of my roommates about the dishes of all random things, and I wanted to cry afterwards. It's just...weird. I played Dance Dance Revolution for a while to get my mind off things. I finally beat my first six-foot song. Didn't beat it very WELL, mind you, but still beat it, which I've been trying to do FOREVER and finally did. I'm going over to my friend's place later to watch some episodes of House.

Does anybody else feel like mornings are the worst? I keep waking up and having that initial moment of "Oh no, I know something in my life is VERY wrong, but I don't know what!" panic, and then a second later it hits me and I start feeling really down for the next half hour or so. I've been looking at some of the other posts in this thread, and morning heartsickness seems to be a recurring theme.

I am TOTALLY down with this. I initiated NC a little over a week ago, when I realized after a few months of "just friends" that "just friends" is "me continuing to be miserable and eventually making a complete idiot out of myself." We live on opposite sides of the US, which makes NC easier in some ways and harder in others. When I first emailed her to say NC I was sobbing my eyes out. I literally felt like I was cutting my arm off, and I was thinking that if I could last even a week it would be a miracle. I cried continuously for the next few days, felt very sick, and couldn't eat. I was furious at myself for breaking down and telling my ex I still loved her (which is what made me realize I needed to do NC), and as soon as I initiated NC, I sat there panicking and thinking "oh no, what have I done!" and suddenly felt terribly ungrateful for not appreciating the scraps of time she DID have for me. Then I got mad at myself for having that mindset. I broke down and checked her AIM profile once the other day. I was kind of aggravated at myself for doing it, but I was also proud I'd managed to stay away from all-out contact or photos. I think it was sort of a compromise I made with myself - I knew I'd crack, so I tried to crack in the least damaging way possible. XP Yesterday I went out and bought myself a cute skirt and some makeup. I'd been completely neglecting my personal appearance because I felt like there was no reason to bother looking good if she didn't want me anymore. So I had to tell myself that was a load of crap, and that I wanted to look good for ME. It seems like a silly little thing, but I wore the skirt today and put on makeup for the first time since I started NC, and it made me feel a ton better.