To A Stranger...
Many years ago, I did not recognize the person in the mirror. The reflection seemed almost transparent as if I could see right through it. I did not want to see myself as “broken” though my heart knew the truth despite my brain telling me that it isn’t really over. You can hide from your friends, family and sometimes co-workers but you can’t hide from yourself. This is a tough pill to swallow because no one wants to feel vulnerable. When your heart has been broken, you have to find once again what was originally you. You have spent so much time, love and energy with someone you wanted to share your life with that emotions can hold your heart hostage if you let them.
Despite your situation, there is always a ray of hope. Even on the cloudiest of days, light always finds a way to penetrate the gloomy skies. Growing up, my parents would tell me I would fall in love someday and find the “one for me”. What they didn’t tell me is that sometimes life has a way of throwing you a curve ball. Just when you think you found the one that makes your heart smile, in an instant it can be taken away from you. No one ever tells you that the one you love can have a change of heart or find another. You tend to hold onto the thoughts of “what did I do that made them want to leave?” We tend to want to blame ourselves because it hurts to much to even consider the thought of the one you love having a change of heart or finding someone else that swept their heart away.
One of the lessons I learned years ago is that no matter how down your feel. No matter how much your heart is breaking…realize that you will feel better. Does anyone know how to instantly feel better? Is finding someone else to fill the void, alcohol or drugs the answer? Absolutely not!! No one wants to hurt but understand that with time, patience and self-understanding you will start to feel better. “Patience is a virtue.” If you can remain level-headed and do your best not to let your emotions get the best of you, you will slowly start to understand that the world doesn’t stop because your heart is broken. The truth is, you stopped. I’ve been there. I didn’t want to be forced into not loving my ex. I wanted to blame myself for the breakup. I refused to stop loving her though she stopped loving me. To be truthful, love switches roles. No one wants to feel as if they were 2nd best…or even 3rd. Who wants to feel replaced? The feeling of rejection can be devastating if you let it get the best of you. The key is to understand that you are not worthless but worthy. Despite your heart feeling empty or numb, those feelings will fade once your find your confidence again. It’s there. It’s just tucked away and shadowed by the feelings of loneliness and rejection.
I wish there was something I could do to help you understand that you are worthy of being loved. I do what I can to help those that feel as if no one cares. I know what it is like first hand, like so many people out there, what it is like to feel the way you do. It took me months to figure out how to dig myself out of the hole in my heart and once I found the self-confidence, I refused to look back. Writing has helped me through the years because it forces me to put my emotions on paper and it helps me organize my own thoughts and patterns of the emotional rollercoaster we have all ridden at one time or another. One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is don’t live in the past. If you are down and out, know that it is ok. The key is not to STAY down. You have to figure out how to pick yourself up and realize that just because someone left you doesn’t mean they took YOU with them. You were single way before you met them. I know you had many months or years with them but our lives have many chapters. Sometimes we write our own but sometime life (circumstance) writes them for us. We have to learn to adapt despite a bit of kicking and screaming along the way. Just because we can’t see the future doesn’t mean we can change it. We can either sit and do nothing or we can do what we can to change our lives and circumstances for self-betterment. No one is worth losing you over. Love will always prevail but understand that once love is taken away, you must learn to love yourself. You have to stop your toxic thinking that make you believe you are worthless because the love of your life walked out the door. I know it feels that way right now but it could not be farther from the truth.
Do you remember how you feel when you see dark clouds off in the distance on a beautiful, spring day? Besides the instance thought that rain is near, darker emotions can cover the happiness just like the storm clouds can cover the sun. We have to have the rain for the flowers to bloom. Out of the darkness comes the light. Just understand it may not be on your time but I promise you it will come. I can remember when I finally started to feel better that I preferred the sunshine instead of drowning out the sun in order for my current emotions to match the interior of my apartment. I am guilty as charged but I didn’t know how to feel better. I wanted to pick up a book or take a class or get that perfect bit of advice that say “Heck yeah, that was the answer I was looking for” but it didn’t happen. What did happen was that I looked deep within myself and found….well…simple enough, I found me. I hated the thought of being alone but that was only my dark veil of sadness covering the truth. I had my family and my close friends to listen and help me along the way. Why do so many of us come here? We come here to help one another and offer advice to those that might be going through the same thing. Know that you are not alone. You are NOT an exception. If you want to feel better…you will and most certain can.
“Let your heart not be troubled”.
Today is a new day. To those out there with a broken heart, I want to listen to me. Listen carefully. You are someone who is worthy of love. You are someone who is not only beautiful but confident and worthy of all the happiness and love that life has to offer. Do your best to let go of all negativity despite your current situation and understand you were not created to feel sad or broken hearted. Know that there are people, even strangers like me, who are here to do what they can to comfort you. I am just a simple guy in Tennessee that understands how you might be feeling. Many of us here have felt your current pain but please understand that this too shall pass. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. I am here if you need me. Find the power within yourself to lift your chin and your spirit and know that your sun is coming. The darkness and sad feelings will fade in time. Do what you can to learn from your past experiences and love yourself one again.
I wish you all the happiness and love life has to offer.