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Shadow34~ "I use subliminal cd's and self hynosis to apply these positive thoughts to my sub conscious..and hey its working, I told my parents and a few friends I was going to win lotto and I did, and IM so grateful" Any suggestions on the cds you use? I'm really starting to believe in LOA but I can use all the help I can get. There's years of negative thinking and beliefs for me to try to wash away here. And though I do believe in LOA now, I also want to strengthen that belief.

Keefy1972~ Yes! I have also been studying the Law of Attraction. Awesome stuff.

Hades, Nice post. But 3-6 months not being enough time for it to be love? I respectfully disagree. All depends on the people involved and the reasons for the breakup. Other than that, good job on the post.

Goingforit: May I ask you how long you are planning on doing NC and giving your ex space before you contact her? Michelle

Thank you, Goingforit. Excellent advice.

Thank you, Dan. I'm in NC right now, too. I keep hoping that it will get easier but it doesn't. I am trying to give him space. I just wish I knew what I could DO. I know NC is what everyone says...it's just so hard. Thanks for your insights.

Thank you both

Hi. First of all, let me say that I find this forum such a blessing. I am doing NC. It's only been 8 days, but from everything I have read here it is the best thing to do for ME. Of course, I still love my ex and I still want him back, but I realized that doing NC is not to get him back but to help me heal. So far, it's hell on earth. I'll try to make this as short as possible. I went through a bad marriage and divorce 9 years ago. Dated only very casually in the interim. Last year, I met a v. nice man through mutual friend. We hit it off immediately. We decided to be exclusive. (He asked for the exclusivity). Then, came the L word. He told me he loved me, etc. ANyway, we were going along fine. He met and liked my son a great deal. I met his friends & family. The only possible issue was that he wanted children and I didn't want more kids. However, I kept the lines of communication open about this issue. It was not a : "I'm never gonna have kids situation". I talked to him about this and my worries for the future. His response: I love you, I do not want to lose you. I finally opened up and told him about why I didn't think I wanted more kids. (Abusive relationship in the first marriage, post-partum). AGAIN, he assured me that he loved me and did not want to lose me. On Nov 30, we talked for a half an hour on the phone. It was a normal conversation with no indication that anything was amiss. He kept saying how much he missed me (we hadn't seen each other in a week or so). Ending with "I love you so much." Then, on Dec 1st, he calls me and says he's been thinking a lot about the kids issue. He said he talked to his mom and she told him that he should break it off now. He kept saying "I love you so much. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose you." Of course, the conversation ended with, "I love you, but I think we should end it." He also said he would call me the next day so we could exchange our stuff. Never calls. I, of course, do the nutty texting him. I freaking begged him. (I feel like such an idiot). Finally, he gets my stuff back to me through a third party (coward!). He puts a note in there saying : there is no one else, it is about the kids, and it would be too hard to try again, and I should just forget him. So, I, being the broken hearted idiot write him this long, heartfelt letter explaining how much I love him, and how I would love to have kids with him, but he never gave me a chance to explain that. Etc. Etc. Anyway, I am an strict NC (except I have to go into work everday and see the woman who introduced us--she is a friend of mine and she is just as baffled as I am by this). I never thought that I would have a relationship again because I was burned so damn badly in my marriage. I allowed myself to love this man and to trust this man, and out of the blue he does this. I am trying my damndest to let go and to do NC, but I just have no idea what the hell happened here. I have absolutely no insight into why this went down. I really felt like God had blessed me with this man b/c we got along so well, everything was so good. Seriously, I have gone over the months we were together and can't find an inkling of what caused this to happen. Now, I feel like God/the Universe is playing a cruel joke on me. I honest to God do not know how to get over this pain. When I said I loved him I meant it. So, I know, loving him like I do, the most loving thing I can do for him and me is to let go, but it hurts so much, especially not knowing why. Thanks for listening.

DisgruntledBaker~ God, yes, I understand. I, too, think of my ex almost every waking moment even though I am doing NC and really trying to stay busy and focus on me. All you can do is ride those waves of pain when they come. Read the forum here a LOT and try to let go. That's the HARDEST part. Because I wish with everything I am that my ex would "come to his senses", so to speak, but my brain is telling me I can't waste my life sitting around waiting for that to happen. Just know that there are so many people on this board willing to listen and to offer advice and support. Hang in there!

GoodWaves, My ex bf broke up with me with little to no explanation and he refuses to see me or speak to me. I, too, pray everyday. I pray for God to bring us together, but I also pray for him to be happy. I don't know the answer, but everyone on this forum is here for you. Come here as often as you need to. The folks here give great advice and are always here to listen.

Celene, I don't know that I have any advice but let me just say I definitely feel for you!

God, this is so hard. I'm on day 2 of the NC challenge. I just keep thinking if I could find the right words to say that he would understand and want to start over. But I'm going to stay strong!

I hear you all! All I want to do is contact him. I just want to try again, you know, but he just says it's too hard. Thank God I found this forum. I am going to try to stick to NC, but I hear you all...it is so hard!!!