Opinions on monogamy?

[whitesand3]

Hi,

So I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask (if not please delete), but I've been watching some videos on some strong male perspectives on monogamy, and I'm intrigued to hear some opinions on here. 

To name a few of the opinions on the videos (completely paraphrasing here):

1) Women's body counts are meant to be low but a man's doesn't matter, as biologically men are supposed to "spread their seeds".

2) If a man cheats it's no where near as bad as a woman cheating, because a woman cheats with emotions being involved but a man doesn't. 

3) A man is supposed to be the provider, so as long as he provides for the woman and their children, it shouldn't be frowned upon if maybe once in a blue moon he decides to give in to his desire of having sex with another woman. 

The comments under these videos, to my complete surprise, all agreed with these guys and their opinions. It just really got me thinking, as I thought this was quite a backward way of thinking, and didn't realise so many, actually the majority it seems, still hold these strong views. 

I just wanted to come on here and ask some of your opinions, in particular any male opinions, as these views seemed quite shocking to me. 

[smackie9]

2) men also have emotional affairs, and yes women can purely enjoy sex with out emotions. 

3) that's what women call taking a man to the cleaners because he was caught doing something unholy. 

[CrazyWife]

Unfortunately, a lot of Andrew Tate wannabes out there but there are plenty of guys who don't hold such narrow minded and backward views.

[Cherylyn]

I don't believe in any of those theory videos.  I'm a lady,  a mother of two sons in the suburbs,  I'm married and I've always believed in monogamy. 

I think it's fine to be in a polygamy relationship if it's mutually agreed and no one is being cheated upon.  I personally don't agree with this arrangement myself but if others do it with consent,  it's fine with me.

I wouldn't pay attention to those videos you're watching.  It defies the voice of reason IMHO. 

The majority believes in monogamy.  What does that tell you?

 

[boltnrun]

Of course men who watch these type of videos are going to "agree" with them! Men who desire monogamy wouldn't gravitate toward videos like those.

So this alleged "majority" is only the majority of people who choose to watch those videos, not a true majority.

I would like to ask those men if they're happy to have their wives sleep with multiple men. You know, to increase their chances of pregnancy 😉

[Kwothe28]

16 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

1) Women's body counts are meant to be low but a man's doesn't matter, as biologically men are supposed to "spread their seeds".

 

I wouldnt put it like that. However, out in the world, woman body count does matter more then man. Because its looked differently when man is sleeping around then when women is sleeping around. Simply because for a man to sleep around, he would have to present himself out there in the best light and be a "player". Simply put, it takes a skill to be one and seduce women. For a woman to sleep around, maybe some of you would get offended, all it takes is to have a vagina to offer. Hence why being a player is looked upon with both men and women. While being a promiscuous woman is being looked down upon. By men and especially by women. Rules are just not the same due to obvious gender differences and societal norms.

16 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

2) If a man cheats it's no where near as bad as a woman cheating, because a woman cheats with emotions being involved but a man doesn't. 

 

I dont make a difference. Monogamy is a concept that many dont respect today. But cheating is cheating. There is no difference which side does it.

16 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

3) A man is supposed to be the provider, so as long as he provides for the woman and their children, it shouldn't be frowned upon if maybe once in a blue moon he decides to give in to his desire of having sex with another woman. 

 

Same with no2, cheating is cheating no matter the circumstances. Lots of people do believe in "provider" and how a man is suppose to be a provider out there. Gender norms.

20 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

The comments under these videos, to my complete surprise, all agreed with these guys and their opinions. It just really got me thinking, as I thought this was quite a backward way of thinking, and didn't realise so many, actually the majority it seems, still hold these strong views. 

 

You watched "blackpill" or "redpill" videos(I always mix those two). Ofcourse comments would be favorable because its their audience. If I go to "Breadtube" video comments would be supportive of marxism/communism. If I would go to Alex Jones videos comments would be bunch of conspiracy theorists that believe how government is making a frogs gay(dont ask). Its not really shocking that channels that cater to majority of men audience and "teach you how to be Alpha" hold views that would be favorable of men. If you would go to feminist channels you would see other extreme side of it. Just because its extreme doesnt mean its majority, just means its most loudest.

[Wiseman2]

23 minutes ago, CrazyWife said:

Unfortunately, a lot of Andrew Tate wannabes out there but .

Agree. It's manoshere rhetoric. 

[Coily]

36 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

To name a few of the opinions on the videos (completely paraphrasing here):

1) Women's body counts are meant to be low but a man's doesn't matter, as biologically men are supposed to "spread their seeds".

2) If a man cheats it's no where near as bad as a woman cheating, because a woman cheats with emotions being involved but a man doesn't. 

3) A man is supposed to be the provider, so as long as he provides for the woman and their children, it shouldn't be frowned upon if maybe once in a blue moon he decides to give in to his desire of having sex with another woman.

As a man:

1) Ummm No body counts for both sexes is important. I would not want to be with a woman in double digits, nor would I expect women to want a man of double digits. This is trash spread by people looking for excuses.

2) Cheating is bad regardless of who or why. Cheating is about the most despicable thing one can do, it's like asking which is worse running someone over or beating them with a bat, just wrong period.

3) Sure if it's dogs or other lower form of animal, and some people are lower forms of animals when it comes to this behavior. I would liken this to giving someone $50 then punching them, out of the blue, sure you "provided for them" bit it's still wrong.

Now some of the comments could be memery, so take them with a grain of salt. But some people could believe such trash.

This is Player School 101 level stuff, it's trashy and aimed at those individuals peddling their nonsense.

[Tinydance]

I don't agree especially with the provider comment about men. I mean, in that case you can begin to excuse anyone cheating because you could usually find a "reason" for it if you wanted to find one.. E.g. "A woman who's a stay at home housewife is on her own all day with the children. It's hard work and she doesn't see her husband much. So it's OK if has some fun on the side because her husband is gone all day and she's horny." You can't just excuse cheating because someone is doing XYZ or is in an XYZ situation.

Also can't really use the "men spread their seed" argument because we're not cave people. I imagine maybe cave people did it for survival because many of the children died. Or for example the men would go out hunting or fight another tribe and get killed,  and that left not many men. So the men still alive would sleep with the women to continue the race. In 21st Century Western society we don't live like this.

A man doesn't HAVE to spread his seed for evolution, it's usually not necessarily. So he would only be spreading it simply for pure pleasure. And he's not an animal so he should have control over himself.

[Batya33]

I don't agree with any of those generalizations.  I've always been a fan of monogamy for myself and in my relationships.  As long as the adults aren't hurting each other intentionally (or subjecting children to an unstable environment because of a decision to have multiple partners in a way that subjects the children to lack of safety/stability)  I don't care if they choose monogamy or otherwise.

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

Ofcourse comments would be favorable because its their audience....

....Just because its extreme doesnt mean its majority, just means its most loudest.

Agreed.

[bluecastle]

It sounds like you found a dark and musty corner of the internet and have mistaken it for a majority opinion. Speaking for myself—a male—I find all of that to be nonsense, the sort of drivel spewed by angry and entitled dudes. The sheer use of the term "body counts" is enough to make my skin crawl. 

General thoughts on all this? I don't really think there's any wrong or right way to be in a relationship, in terms of monogamy and beyond, but I think that all relationships should be created by a mutual understanding and commitment by everyone in them. Anyone who breaks those agreements has only their own wobbly spine to blame. 

[Seraphim]

Eh, I don’t pay any attention to Tate like males. My husband and I only have eyes for each other . 

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, whitesand3 said:

The comments under these videos, to my complete surprise, all agreed with these guys and their opinions.

This is simply because the audience of these videos is seeking confirmation bias. 

Men who don't share these views are not likely to watch such garbage, let alone not get their comments deleted by one posting the video if they try to share an opposing view. Anyone can post anything and there will always be a demographic that rallies behind it. It doesn't make it represntative of the general population.