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whitesand3

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  1. I have already completed my degree, so which of the two classifications I accept will be final. A 2:1 is a higher degree classification than a 2:2, degrees where I live are graded in the following order- a first class, a 2:1, a 2:2, and a third. Because of this, I am conflicted between which I should accept. A 2:1 without accreditation- seems to mean that my immediate graduate prospects would be better, as the grade is higher, I would be able to apply for jobs that require a 2:1 or above. A lot of these job descriptions don't seem to ask for the degree to be accredited, some do, but not most. A 2:2 with accreditation- would mean it would be easier for me to pursue becoming a chartered engineer, and so a higher salary, should I wish to do so in the future. The downside of this seems to be that I may struggle finding a graduate job in the first place because of the lower grade.
  2. I have just completed my Mechanical Engineering degree and have a choice between two classifications now. To either accept a non-accredited degree with a 2:1, or to accept an IET accredited degree with a 2:2. I am unsure which would be more beneficial, as I am unsure whether I want to achieve CEng status in the future. Which would be better in terms of graduate job opportunities?
  3. He says he doesn't want to post me because he wants to keep the relationship private until me and him are stable again, and recently since the hotel situation, he says he doesn't want to post me because girls I had messaged to find out if it was them, will think to themselves "Oh this is the girl who messaged me to see if her boyfriend was faithful or not" We have been involved since 2013... so about 8 years. He used to have photos of us up, but he deleted them all, and hasn't posted me, and won't let me post him in over 2 years now.
  4. Yes.. it is the same man, I've been really struggling mentally and have been very indecisive with this whole relationship. Part of me keeps feeling like this time might be the time it will work out and he will follow through with all his promises, and sometimes I feel like I'm too insecure/possessive and that I am the one that needs to fix up for this relationship to work. For the most part, when I am thinking rationally, I know what I should be doing. However, I also know that every time I have left or he has, we somehow keep getting back into this relationship, and breakups only make the situation worse. So I find myself staying...
  5. Really struggling to know where boundaries should be drawn in a relationship, I keep feeling crazy for the things that seem to be bothering me, but I can't help the way I feel. Looking for some..insight? into what is generally deemed acceptable in a relationship. TIA ☺️ My boyfriend has been posting photos of girls on his social media (FYI I'm non-existent on his social media), and it is really getting to me. The photos he posts of them seem very couply, he poses the same way he does with me: Girls very close to him, one that has really gotten to me is of a photo of him holding a girls waist, and she seems to be resting/leaning her head on his chest. I tried speaking about it to him but he is adamant that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him taking photos holding girls' waist etc... I personally, find it uncomfortable when a guy who is not my SO holds me by the waist, I'm unsure if I am just very close minded since I am very emotionally unstable at the moment. Is this something that I should not be bothered by? Just looking for some opinions.
  6. I guess I am really going to have to try, I'm just scared of the wave of emotions I am going to be hit with, as I have in the past multiple times. I have tried therapy, but I think I may need something more long-term. I cheated on him (guy2) with this man (guy1) 😞. Things were going well, Guy2 was aware that I was still in contact with Guy1, and was fine with it, because he knew I had made it clear I was with Guy2, and he asked me to meet for "closure", again Guy2, was okay with this too, as he trusted me. When I met Guy1 for closure, Guy2 had randomly stopped speaking to me for a few days, because he was going through a rough week, but did not tell me this, so I was very confused, as we had only made our relationship official that same week. When I met Guy1 for closure, he tried initiating a kiss multiple times, and I pulled back multiple times, until he went in for a kiss out of anger when I told him who guy2 was. I didn't see it coming and kissed him back, I messed up. I told Guy2 the same night, and a few weeks later he ended things with me. Since then he has tried to get me back, but I have told him about me being in a relationship. Sorry, this is probably more information than you wanted. I am just feeling very mentally unstable at the moment, and writing things down is helping me. Bottom line is, I was not ready to get into a relationship with guy2 at the time, as I was not over guy1. Better yet, I should not have agreed to meet guy1 for closure, and I should have known that was just an excuse.
  7. Unfortunately yes.. a lot has happened since this. I left the relationship 5 months last year, where I briefly was seeing another man. I ended up getting roped back into this relationship, with promise of changed behaviour etc.
  8. I (24F) am in a relationship with a 24M of which I am unsure where I stand at the moment. I'm sorry in advance if the following is a little all over the place, just in desperate need of advice/outside perspective. We kept breaking up briefly (few days) past couple months due to me being worried about other girls and him being worried about another guy. Last week I was unsure where I stood with him, I had seen him earlier that week, a couple days later he said he felt single and that he didn't want to be in a relationship. He said this multiple times in the past few weeks, only to come back to me saying he wants to be with me and marry me but that we need to sort through the insecurities in the relationship. He went out of town this past weekend, during which time I found a hotel reservation under his name from the day after he told me he felt single (my laptop was logged into his email). I had spoken to him that day over the phone, because I knew he did not want things to be over (2 days later he said he wanted to marry me). He told me he was on the way to meet a photographer. This was obviously a lie, I confronted him about it, he completely denied it for 2 days and then told me he would explain everything. Since he was out of town and had plans, he dragged out having this conversation until last night. Between me finding the reservation and finally being able to have a conversation with him about it, he went out for drinks with another girl ( a friend I know). This made me a little uneasy, because I was already on edge with everything going on and felt like I'm just not a priority to him at all, as long as he has other girls around him. I know if the tables were turned, I would priorities having this conversation with him first, so not to trigger his anxiety and keep him assuming and overthinking. Last night once I finally got a hold of him, he told me he went on a double date that evening he lied, and that it wasn't really a date but that him, his cousin and 2 girls went to get food and then he booked a hotel for all four of them to have drinks in the room. I feel betrayed, I had tried blocking him off of everything a couple days after he went to that hotel, before I knew anything, only for him to spam call me from another number telling me that it's me he wants and all the other girls that I am worried about mean nothing to him. When I spoke to him last night about this, he left the conversation unfinished and said that he would speak to me about it today, because he was drunk from having drinks with that other girl. Today, I had been trying to reach him for hours, as my anxiety keeps sky rocketing, not knowing what's going to happen between me and him. After trying for hours he finally picks up and tells me he's out having lunch with this girl he met through social media. I broke down. I've known about this girl, and he tells me they are just friends, but I still feel hurt. I feel like he keeps going on "dates" with girls he claims to just be friends. He did the same thing about 2 weeks ago now with another girl whom he met over social media, but they went out for drinks together, all in the name of "net-working". Maybe I have a very old fashioned way of thinking, but I have not felt comfortable going out for drinks or food with other guys I barely know, and I know for a fact he would be mad if I did the same, but he knows I wouldn't, because I feel uncomfortable doing that myself. I know my rational self tells me to just not be in this relationship but I have seriously struggled getting out of it, and my mental health is at a all time at the moment. I guess I am just wanting opinions about not only the whole situation but right now the thing that is bugging me the most is if I am overreacting by the way I feel when he goes out for drinks or food with girls he met through social media. Side note- because of everything going on between me and him, we haven't even gone out for drinks or food ourselves since COVID restrictions have been lifted, and I guess this makes me even more jealous that these girls are getting to spend time with him and I haven't been.
  9. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Although he may not have physically cheated, if this is something you both see as a form of betrayal, I do think he has cheated, at least emotionally. He is angry that he got caught. I am in a similar kind of situation, and I understand how easy it is for outsiders to give you advice, but having to actually deal with possibly losing someone you love regardless is incredibly hard. Realise, you love who you thought he was, not who he actually is.
  10. Hi :) I'm really struggling with a situation which I am hoping some of you can give me your opinions on. I (23F) have been in a relationship for a few years, he (23M) cheated on me a few years ago, we had broken up and got back together few months later. Trust had obviously been broken due to this. Recently, he broke up with me due to communication issues. About 3 weeks later, we started seeing eachother again "exclusively", but weren't in an official gf & bf relationship. I found out about a month ago that he had actually been flirting with girls online and in clubs the entire 3 months of us being exclusive, all while telling me he loved me and that he was thinking of making the relationship official once we had rebuilt a stronger foundation. He kept telling me he was being loyal, and he knew I was too, because we had agreed on being exclusive. This obviously broke my heart and brought the little trust I still had in him back to square one. After a heated conversation and a few days, (I know this is going to sound absurd to a lot of people), we made our relationship official. Few reasons why- he told me this was because he did not feel like this was cheating, even though he knew he betrayed me, and said he knew he would not have been flirting with other girls if we were in an official relationship. He insisted he knew he wanted me, and did not see any future with any of those girls, but that he just felt single. There are obviously plenty of reasons why I am choosing to stay in this relationship, that I am not discussing here. To help me move past this betrayal, I asked if he could get rid of all these girls on his social media platforms. After weeks of me breaking down multiple times, he finally got rid of them a few days ago. He, however, today followed a girl on twitter he had flirted with, during the brief time we had been broken up. She had just made a new account. He unfollowed her old account just a few days ago while he was getting rid of the other girls too. I felt instant anger and hurt when I saw this. I asked him why, and he said he did not want to be rude and not follow her back. She is a random girl on twitter that lives in another country. He has lots of mutuals with her, which is one of his excuses for keeping her on twitter. He said he would get rid of her later on today because he did not want her to notice straight away. Am I wrong for asking him to get rid of this girl? I am obviously struggling to trust him, I am not asking for opinions on whether I should end this relationship or not... I just want advice on this specific issue today, as I feel really controlling, but am unsure if my request is out of order, or if it is justified. I just want some opinions before I speak to him later. Thank you in advance :)
  11. Just looking for some advice, thank you in advance :) I recently got back with an ex whom I was in a serious relationship with, we have been dating exclusively for a few weeks, as he wanted to take the relationship slow and build a strong foundation. We spoke about how we will both not be speaking to anyone else. I came to realise he has however continued to speak to random girls online since we've been back together. I spoke about this to him yesterday, and explained how it made me feel uncomfortable, as even if he isn't flirting, guys online don't usually try to get to know you as friends, and that to these girls he's coming across as available. He explained that he is not speaking to them like that, and that it's usually friends of friends whom he knows of. I told him how I did not care if he spoke to his female friends, but that I didn't understand why he feels the need to get to know random girls online. Something about it doesn't sit right with me, even if there is no flirting involved. He tells me he has no intentions with them and that it would not effect him if he stopped talking to them, and that he would since it's making me uncomfortable. Fast forward to today, he is still talking to them and it's making me fume. I have been really off with him today, and am unsure how to handle the situation. I don't know whether I am over-reacting. I don't know if I should bring it up to him, or to shrug it off for now and see how things play out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  12. Me and my boyfriend have been disagreeing on a topic that I wanted to get an outside prospective on. Is is normal for people in a long term committed relationship to be interacting via twitter with random people of the opposite sex? My boyfriend keeps on commenting back and forth with random girls on twitter and retweeting their photos. I have been finding this uncomfortable and have expressed this to him. To which he responded, "I am not doing anything wrong, this is the whole purpose of twitter, to interact with random people". If these girls were his friends through university or work or elsewhere, I would not have a problem. I however, don't seem to comprehend why he believe it is okay to be interacting with random girls over social media like this. Please be as brutally honest as possible, if I just need a reality check. Thank you :)
  13. I believe the best way to get out there and meet people who you can feel yourself with, is to do activities you enjoy. By this I mean, since you are at university, you have so many different societies you could join. This would help you meet freshers who are like-minded as you! I feel like friendships should be natural, and if you feel you are forcing a conversation that means that you are surrounding yourself with the wrong crowd.
  14. I apologise in advance for the following lengthy post, I tried to make it as concise as possible. I have been with my boyfriend since 2013, we had a breakup in between for 4 months due to him cheating on me on a drunken night out and losing feelings for me. He had got with a girl 3 days days after our 4 year relationship and seen a few girls before getting back with me. I didn't move on at all during this time apart, as I tried to focus on myself and possibly getting back with him. Before the break-up, we were increasingly arguing mainly due to him creating a public Instagram profile as an aspiring model. This meant he was following and liking random girl's profiles and photos in order to grow his page and it made me uneasy. During the breakup, the girls he had seen were random girls from his Instagram profile that he had messaged and met up with. Ever since getting back with me, I supported him with attending photo-shoot meets, where multiple photographers and models would come together to shoot. I stayed supportive, until I saw a photo of him taken with another girl where they had to act like a couple, hence it was a very touchy photo. I expressed to him how I was extremely uncomfortable with these kind of shoots. I told him I would 100% support solo shoots and friendly shoots, but not intimate ones. He agreed, but never followed through. Since then, he took quite a few inappropriate ones girls. Due to this he agreed to compromise, and said that he would only go to solo shoots. This lasted a few months till last week, he wanted to attend another meet as he hadn't been having any photo-shoots for a while. He reassured me that he would refuse to taking any inappropriate photos with other women. However, he took a photo with a girl in her bra, which I saw on Instagram and felt completely shaken by. He told me he didn't realise she was in a bra!? We had an argument, which nearly led to a break-up as I explained that I was unable to support these kind of shoots as this was causing a strain on my mental health, (I am suffering from severe anxiety and depression). Neither of us however wanted to let go of each other, and he kept apologising and telling me how much he loved me. We then came to an agreement, (once again), that at the meets he goes to from there on, he would let everyone know that he is only okay with doing solo shoots. He had a meet today. We spoke this morning before he left and he reassured me that he would let everyone there know that he doesn't want to shoot with women. He just however messaged me, saying, " I'm sorry, I failed you, I was shooting by myself and a girl just came in an shot with me. I didn't know how to say no to her or the photographer. It wasn't my fault." I went on to explain that this has happened way too many times and that this was the reason I told him not to go to meets in the 1st place. He is on the way home, and I am waiting to talk to him. I don't know how to deal with this situation, I keep feeling like breaking up with him because these things keep on happening and he keeps blaming the other models and photographers, and it keeps making me sad and angry. Before I conclude, I would like to make clear that my issue isn't him innocently shooting with other girls. It's the fact that, at these meets, they aren't pre-planned and photographers just get models together and tell them how to pose. This is where the opportunity arises for my boyfriend and anther female model to get put together and be told to do intimate poses, which my boyfriend then feels awkward to say no to in the moment. Which then leads to me seeing these photos and getting ticked off and having an argument with him. I guess this stems from my working progress on my trust for him, and the countless images of him and women that I already battle with in my head. I am just looking for other people's point of view on my situation, and if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)
  15. My boyfriend cheated on me after getting super drunk on a night out last year. We broke up for a few months and recently got back together. I however can't help but feel super anxious whenever he goes drinking and clubbing now. I don't want to control his social life, but I can't help feeling the way I do. He expects me to just trust him, telling me the way he feels towards me now is a lot stronger than it was then. He is out at a club tonight, and I'm here awake overthinking. We are also moving in together at University in a couple weeks, and I am worried he might cheat again. Any advice on how to deal with this? Thank you in advance :)
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