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Everything posted by CrazyWife

  1. Thank you everyone for your comments, thoughts and support. Still sober, a day at a time.
  2. Yeah true. As a friend told me 'doesn't matter how you got it, as long as you admit you have a problem'. I've had AUD for a long time and now been sober for a while. But it's a constant battle.
  3. Most medical professionals in psychiatry, like myself, use the term AUD and class it on a spectrum. It has largely been debated in psychiatry about it being a mental disorder or disease. Even nature vs nuture. Even the WHO were looking to declassify it as a disease. The medical model of disease is not set in stone as being the cause of 'alcoholism' or the now preferred term AUD.
  4. Not according to mental dianostics like DSM 5 and ICD 11.
  5. Alcoholism has now been more classed as a mental disorder by the DSM 5 (USA) and ICD-11 (UK). Science is more pointing in that direction now. But it will forever be debated. But AA don't see it that way and don't see it on a spectrum. But either way I am happy to be no longer involved with it and am going my own way.
  6. I'm not fully slating AA. It works for some but not for me. Tried it a few times. I'll keep to my SMART meetings and therapy. Has worked better for me so far. I hate using the terms 'alcoholic' and 'addict'. So stigmatising.
  7. Thank you for an amazing reply. I too found AA a bit cult like and too much 'you need to do this or you will fail' but no evidence to back up what they are saying. I personally don't believe in the disease model and they didn't like that one bit. But yeah it can be a big struggle but hear I am still sober. The nostalgia part is the hardest and giving up that party lifestyle. But i have so much to give and don't want to waste my life being drunk. Surely that is worth fighting for 😀
  8. Maybe i do make the mistake of still going to bars etc...I don't want to turn unsociable but maybe a break for awhile would do me good. I just wish this wasn't happening to me...yes i know pity party lol. Life can deal you a hard hand sometimes.
  9. Yeah i know that is the addiction talking to me. Robin Williams described it best when he said it is like a sleeping beast but it likes to nudge you now and again to get you to waken it. I am going to discuss what I have today to my therapist and my peer support group that i am going to be joining this week. Nervous but sure it will be good. Getting treatment for my mental state too.
  10. Thank you for such an amazing reply. Well i do want to write more and get fitter. I also need to work on my confidence as i always used alcohol for it.
  11. Well done on fighting your demons. I have a lot to work through but need to do it, not only for me, but my daughter too.
  12. Thank you for your words of support and well done on reaching recovery yourself.
  13. I think one of the hardest things is saying goodbye to that part of my life e.g. the crazy nights out, parties. But my mind is very selective and only remembers the good and fun parts! Doesn't remember the arguments, fights, embarrassing moments etc...the list of bad things is endless!
  14. Thank you for your advice. I need to change a lot of things at the moment.
  15. Yeah i get nice bottle of fruit juice etc... It is so tough especially when there is so much of a drinking culture.
  16. Find it very authoritative and dated. Seems very guilt driven but that is just my experiences with it. I work in psychiatry so doesn't match up to my way of thinking when it comes to addiction. I hear SMART is more up to date so will try that next week. Plus i feel i need to explore more which i can do with a therapist and not AA. Some members can really rag on you if you don't attend 4 meetings a day. I get it is important but i need other things in my life too.
  17. I wouldn't say I am in denial at all. I know I have alcohol use disorder but get frustrated with my mind trying to pull me back. Rehab in the UK costs thousands. If i could go tomorrow i would. But i use a therapist and will start group support. I just have moments of weakness and fights with the demon inside me.
  18. In the UK you only get private rehabs which cost ££££. We don't get funded places especially with the NHS being under so much pressure. Tried AA again recently and really not for me. I see a therapist and will be starting SMART meetings next week. Hear it is different from AA and more up to date so it is definitely worth a shot.
  19. It is so tough. It is exhausting having a battle with myself. It's me vs me.
  20. Thank you. It is like this angel and devil on my shoulder. One says you know you will go back to binging and being full of regret and empty promises. The other is saying 'you got this' 'you just need to have more self control and it will be different' and the biggest one - 'what harm will it do?' It is like I am in a constant battle with myself.
  21. I tried AA again but not for me. I have a therapist and really supportive family / friends.
  22. Well I have stopped drinking for a while after failing at moderation. I admit it sucks and i am really struggling right now. Was trying to persuade my husband to let me try moderating again and also trying to persuade myself 'it will be different this time'. I am getting help but feel sometimes it is not enough. I have a lovely daughter and husband so why risk it all just for a bottle? I try to tell myself i am not experiencing psychological cravings but know I am. I do not have any physical ones I just pray this gets easier. Even with help it is a struggle 😞
  23. I'm not sure if it is the job or symptoms of anxiety / depression. Yes i enjoy my work but depends who i am working with. I have a real problem dealing with ***s at work and take it personally.
  24. Yeah just difficult to do it but i need to sort this out. I just torture myself.
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