CrazyWife

Thank you for your reassuring comments. I need to put my focus and energies on to something better for me.

I wasn't using this grocery store at the time but walking past it as that's where I stop on public transport but I guess I can change that up too until I feel more comfortable again.

Sorry this is happening to you. I understand why you would feel shame as I've been in an abusive relationship. It takes courage to walk away and trust me, the courage is there. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Can you contact a domestic abuse charity or support line for advice? Contact a lawyer to see where you stand with the house? Unfortunately, with any abusive relationship, it will get worse not better. I was with a man who abused substances and he was a Jekyl and Hyde. Fine sober but a nightmare when intoxicated. It's scary as you walk in eggshells waiting for the explosion. Please get advice and support when he is away. It is scary walking away but for your physical and mental health, you need to. Would you contact police for help?

So sorry you went through this. You no way asked for this and it is disgusting that your boyfriend said you were. I had this happen to me when very drunk and can understand the trauma that comes with it. Please seek professional help through a therapist or a rape crisis service. What he done was rape. Do you think you were drugged?

I was thinking of dealing with it as I would my patients. I work in a psych ward. I can get abuse on a daily basis but deal with it as calmly as possible. I think my issue is overthinking the whole thing. I worry about further episodes or violence from him or his associates. I maybe need to let it go. I didn't move too far from him but far enough. The city I stay in isn't too big unfortunately.

I was with friends today and chose not to discuss my ex neighbour as wanted to speak about other things

Spend time with friends, maybe do more meditation, thought records sheets where I challenge my unhelpful thoughts, journalling perhaps.

He is unfortunately taking up a lot of time in my head. I shouldn't let him as got more important things to focus on

It's what I have the tendency to do. But I know I shouldn't as he took souch for two years. I never deserved any of it but he did it anyway. I need to realise that worrying so much about d*cks gets me nowhere. You are right, he is getting all this power over me by me thinking like this.

Yeah best just leaving him to his sad life. No decent person would behave like that.

He was completely behaving like a child today. What adult walks by someone and then screams abuse? He couldn't say it to my face.

Yeah I was on tender hooks around my old house. I tell myself if this was a year from now I would just be thinking how pathetic he is. I wouldn't want my daughter seeing me get into an argument with an a**hole anyways but working in healthcare and behaving like that out in the street, I wouldn't do myself any favours but cause issues for myself.

Maybe I'm letting my anxiety get the better of me. I do still need to go by my old area where I stayed for my daughter's school but never seen him. I just wonder with situations like that, are you better just ignoring rather than saying something back?

No he doesn't know where I stay. This occurred outside a nearby supermarket. Don't know when I would see him next to be honest. He looked startled seeing me. Maybe he thought I moved countries or something lol

I stay in the UK and in the space of a week and a half, I have seen an abusive ex partner at my work along with dealing with an overly aggressive patient at my work (I work in healthcare). Management aware of ex partner and getting support from them. To top off this, I see my ex neighbour from hell who shouted abuse at me. He looked shocked to see me and waited until he was past me to shout "f**king b*tch". Didn't have the guts to say it to my face. We moved not that long ago but didn't move far but to a nicer area. For over two years we put up with antisocial behaviour. Contacting police, antisocial behaviour teams, housing and solicitor. I dread seeing this neighbour again as don't know what to do if he says anything. Do I retaliate by calling him something back? I have kept a log of it but just want to move on. My friends have suggested that I just let it go and report it to police if it occurs again. My defences are down enough due toy week and a half of dealing with a*shoes and I have to deal with this too? I am engaging with a counsellor at the moment so will chat with her next week. I'm just kicking myself as feel that I have shown him he can do that without me saying anything back. But never had a chance anyway as he walked away as I turned around. My neighbour never abused me when I lived there but obviously pissed off about something. He is deranged. I'm overthinking this and going over and over it in my head. Maybe I do need to let it go but worry about being out with my child and abuse starting.

Yes we have moved and the neighbours are fin so far. Hardly see anyone and it's quiet

Thank you for replying. Yes researched it and it seems fine. It was mine and my husband's idea to move after nearly 3 years of hell. I am anxious about moving and of course there is the added stress of moving itself!

So I'm moving away from two neighbours from hell. Went in by the flat we are moving into today and saw a guy who let's say looks dodgy outside the next building smoking a cigarette. He reminded slightly of the NFH. Am I the *** for being judgemental like this or is this just moving nerves? I have had neighbours before who some may say look like 'undesirables' but got along with them the most. I'm just scared that we will go through the same again. I know living in a city you can't escape drug users, drug dealing, noise etc but just can't go through this all again. Maybe I just need to be more positive. It is a nice area and the housing association (other flats are mainly private) said it is generally quiet with no known issues. Is this just nerves?

Funny how you mention naps as I was thinking I hadn't had one in a while and tried to make room for them but was too filled with overthinking. Might be my aim for Saturday!

Thank you ❤️ I will keep that in mind as i too need to work on my physical health which in turn helps mental resiliance.

I personally don't see the issue with you watching porn or looking at these girl's pictures. You didn't interact etc but we all have different views and boundaries on such things. Your girlfriend didn't seem too bothered but it sounds like she doesn't want to know since she said she wants to be ignorant to it. I would just keep stuff like that on the down low.

Yes, beforehand if i was put up against nasty people or challenging situations, I drank to deal with it. Now i'm here, trying to deal with it head on. I have signed up to be a volunteer and a board member for a charity i feel passionate about. I really want to build on my confidence hence why I have put so much work into it and working on my anxiety levels too. I am getting there but I have tough times. But surely with tough times comes strength.

Thank you. Yes, I have done some meditation and yoga but maybe need to look into it. I have messaged my previous therapist so hopefully I can get some useful tools too.

Thank you. Yes your right, we need to navigate our way when working with people like this. But I need to not let them have so much control over my emotions. I let people suck the life out of me but at the same time I tend to give them the straw.

Thank you so much for this lovely response ❤️