CrazyWife

I just think sometimes it makes you more depressed. I remember deactivating it and unfollowing people when Covid first hit as that is all you heard and it was making my anxiety skyrocket.

She didn't cheat as you are not together. Why are you staying with her when she is not wanting back together with you? Are you working on getting through your past mistakes to get back together? Sounds like she is stringing you along.

I previously posted about my Dad dying and we had the funeral just over a week ago. It was a lovely service and we gave him a good send off. I am currently seeing a therapist. I have good and bad days but I know this sounds silly but I have found Queen Elizabeth's death a big trigger for me. I am a Royalist and went to lay flowers for her but just couldn't bring myself to go see her cortege head away from Balmoral as it just brings back all the memories of my Dad's funeral. I feel guilty not going to see her cortege and getting fed up of seeing facebook / social media posts of people describing it as a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity and I feel i missed out on something monumental especially for a Royalist like me. But i would have been too emotional. I've been crying all day today. I have already seen funeral cars lately, i don't need to see more and a sea of phones along with it. I'm just finding it hard and thankfully have stayed sober. I could honestly just disable all social media for the time being as fed up of seeing people put posts up on social media about her death. Someone has died and they just want to make it into a circus so they can get their facebook likes. Sorry if i am ranting lol. I just hate days like this 😥 I just really miss my Dad and want all this hurt to go. Then when I heard the Queen died, i'm like who next? My friend who completed suicide's first year anniversary is coming up too. I'm just lost. I just want some advice on how i can reduce and manage these triggers.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Since you were underage when it happened and with the incident the other night - that is classed as rape. Please seek support from your therapist and / or rape crisis centre. What this man did was grooming when you were underage. He saw you as vulnerable when your mother died and used the situation to his advantage. In regards to the phone call, that is still part of the grooming process. Please tell your therapist this. I know it is hard as I have been involved with a man in the past who raped me. Please don't blame yourself as you are not at fault here. If you wish to tell youf boyfriend, please do. If he is a decent guy he won't blame you. But I would say tell your therapist first. Please feel free to private message me at any time.

As a woman who prefers male company to female company, I can honestly tell you that men and women can have strictly platonic relationships. I have several. When i started taking calls at home from a male co-worker (we *** about work 😂), I asked my husband if he were ok with it as I didn't want him thinking that my co-worker had other intentions and certainly didn't want him feeling uncomfortable. Has she said she is wanting to go on holiday with him? And to stay over at his house? I admit her insisting on going along to his alone to view his new home is strange and it would cause alarm bells to ring for me. I can understand that new friendships are exciting but it shouldn't be above your marriage or your significant other's feelings. I wonder how she would feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Clear boundaries need to be set. Tell your wife that you accept her friendship but there are some things you will not accept. Make it clear that if she continues to do these things then it will cause issues in your marriage. Then the ball is in her court. Have you thought of seeing a counsellor / therapist (even on your own) to discuss this issue?

Jeez i missed that part. I can now see why she was saying stuff like that. They all sound like immature brats.

You have two choices here - 1. Whip your d*ck's out next to each other and compare them (feel free to send me a pic of them if you want an impartial judge 😉) 2. Dump this immature brat. If a real friend heard that *** he wouldn't repeat it and would call out your ex on her ***ty behaviour. You got to ask yourself why she felt comfortable *** talking you in front of him? Not much of a friend imo.

Very true. There are either excuses or results. So i will post here tomorrow that i went to the gym 😀

Bits and bobs around the house but yeah doesn't sold like i am totally sold on the idea!

I would just leave the aunt to her behaviour and keep my distance. Sorry to hear of her declining health and at least you will know that you made your Grandma happy and well looked after. Your aunt can't change the will to suit her so if she isn't happy that not all the money is going to her and her children then just leave her to fester over it. If you feel at any time that she is trying to forcefully change anything then you can report it to the relevant authorities. Plus, i think lawyers would be good at spotting when such issues arise.

My mother and I have always had a strained relationship and i know this may come across as selfish considering she has lost her husband, i'm scared of dealing with her a lot more and I have some anger at being left in this situation. But i think i do need to see her more but still keep a safe distance for my own mental health. She's a narcissist (i know that word gets thrown around a lot but it's true). What worries me most about this loss affecting my drinking is that i have always ran to alcohol in the past to numb feelings. But i really don't want to as I have my husband and young daughter to think about. I have signed up to the gym again and i'm considering going tomorrow. I have also been looking up meditation classes at my local buddhist centre so i can give my mind a break. I just want to try anything to stop me picking up that drink.

As someone who is sober and continues to struggle with alcohol cravings, I can tell you that it only gets worse. I used to be able to limit my drinking to when i wanted and enjoyed the so called party lifestyle but eventually the party stopped. If you are drinking before work, which i have done in the past, you run the high risk of getting fired. I would drink before work (even though i always promised myself i would never drink in the morning) and after work. I eventually started drinking to just feel 'normal' and content in myself. I tried to control it but it was controlling me the whole time. Alcohol addiction creeps up on you gradually and before you know it you are looking back wondering how in hell it happened. You say you don't care, well i didn't either regardless of the negative consequences. Trust me, it will be having an impact on your work performance. I was always hungover at work and promising myself each day that I wouldn't drink that night. Well what did i do at 5pm? Yes you guessed it, poured myself another large glass. Even when i always had regrets from the night before. I used to phone my husband every morning to check that he wasn't mad at me. Yes that was my life. Your story resonates with me so much and it's how my downward spiral started. Please seek professional help before it is too late. Alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs on the planet and takes too many lives. Don't become a statistic, you are worth more. Take control back and I promise you that you won't regret it.

Thank you all for your responses. I have been back in touch with my therapist and seeing them next week. Right now it is my little girl who is keeping me going. I don't want her growing up seeing her mother drinking and I certainly wouldn't want her to think that's how you deal with your feelings.

Hey. I lost my Dad earlier this week after a long battle with illness and I was present when he died. I have been sober for 14 months and as you can imagine this has caused so many triggers. I haven't touched a drop but in all honesty scared that I do. I just want these feelings to stop but know that I need to feel them in order to deal with my grief. Only problem is I know alcohol will stop them for a while. I do have a good support network around me e.g. husband, younger sister, friends but dreading the funeral. I won't bore you with the dynamics of family but I have a strained relationship with my mum and older sister so it makes this more challenging. I know the funeral will be a massive trigger and of course where we are having the wake there will be a bar. But to be honest this whole situation is a trigger. I've even started smoking again. Anyone been in this situation or have advice?

Thank you.

Thank you

Thank you.

Wow! Thank you very much 😀

I agree with above comment. It definitely shouldn't be you doing this and I have a feeling you will be the butt of the office girl's jokes if you were to do that. The responsibility lies with him.

Sorry but it sounds like he is telling tales here. If she had done that and he is, as you say, a private person then he would of told her that it was inappropriate and removed her. From reading your previous post, it sounds like an ongoing issue. As a manager he should have no problem telling the staff to only contact him if it is a work related matter. Yes we can be friends with our colleagues etc but if it is starting to affect your personal life and relationships then there shouldn't be an issue in putting in professional boundaries. If he has nothing to hide then why lie about it? Why would you send love hearts to your boss? Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Hi there Well today i had the unfortunate experience of bumping into some old bullies who obviously haven't grown up any as they were saying unkind things to me. I felt bad as I never said anything as it just brought back feelings of inadequacy and fear especially since one is from a family who for want of a better word are just nasty a**holes. Her sister is a b*tch and her brother is a woman beater. I just find it embarrassing and wish i could stand up for myself more or just stop caring what they think. My mind is still in overdrive due to the past few months - dealing with a suicide, stopping drinking (6 months sober btw) and trying to look into ways in dealing with my anxiety. I feel sometimes that I have done better than them in life (without sounding egotistical!). Got a good career, excelled at university, have a good husband and provide a stable life for my child especially now that I have took alcohol out of the equation. The main ringleader out of them hasn't worked a day in her life and has 8 children to 6 different men. I just feel others put me down sometimes and have done most my life. It didn't help me having an abusive mother and sister either. Doesn't do a lot for self-esteem! I have tried anti-depressants, counselling etc but somehow always feel quite shameful of my past that i leave stuff out in therapy...sounds silly i know but recently read that it is a common occurence in therapy for people to do that. I prefer writing feelings down rather than speaking so maybe online therapy may be an option. But yeah anti-depressants haven't worked but taking beta blockers can help. Need to address my thinking pattern more. Plus, stopping my coping mechanism of having a drink makes it twice as hard but i would never lift a drink over them as they are not worth it. I just can't seem to let go of the past and even at times think about my old neighbour from hell from years ago - didn't help when i saw her husband and don this week too! What a week lol. Makes me think that i am best not going out. Plus, social media doesn't help as you always seem to come across people more easily and it drags all the memories back up. I just wish i could let go of things and maybe realise there are just some nasty people in the world but it makes me feel like a wimp / soft touch when i try to ignore it and causes me embarrassment. Surely they will just carry on if i try ignoring them or are they just people who try to get a reaction? Thanks for reading.

Thank you for the responses. I have spoke to the Samaritans for extra support and they have offered me a safe space to reload anything. They too stated that it was normal to feel this way and that it is all part of the grieving process.

TW: Suicide Three days ago a friend's partner took her own life. We found out that my friend went to her house and found her there. She had hanged herself. I understand people do this when they see no way out and are mainly severely depressed. Plus, i am aware that marital problens can also contribute. She did have severe depression at times. But i can't help but feel angry at times with her. When i first heard the news that she had passed I was shocked and of course concerned on what happened and if her children were alright. But when i heard it was suicide I started crying and had to leave where i was and go home. I met her a few times but we weren't close but i think just knowing someone was so distressed that they felt they had to do that just breaks my heart. But as i said i feel angry sometimes when i know i should be more understanding. I hate the fact that she done that knowing she would be found by my friend. I hate how she has put them through this and as a mother myself, I hate the fact that she left her children. I look at my children and say that i would never do that but at the same time i'm not severely depressed so understand that i wouldn't be thinking that they are better off without me. I am feeling a rollercoaster of emotions and feel guilty for feeling bad things about her. Plus, I think i find it so overwhelming even though we weren't incredibly close due to the circumstances. If she had been terminally ill and in pain, I would take comfort in the fact that she was no longer in pain and suffering. Are these feelings normal?

I hate to say it but it is likely he is just after sex and if that is what your after then fine but i doubt you would be writing on here if that was the case. His parents will despise you but his mates will find it hilarious. I think you need to work on your self esteem as surely you deserve better than to be used as a notch on the bed post?