violetsanx Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 So he’s 26 M, I'm 25 F and I've been out of the dating game for a few years now, almost 3 or 4. There aren't many guys around me who are genuinely interested in me so I decided to get this dating app. I matched with this guy that literally lives down the road from me, so we went on a coffee date, and he seemed so nice and caring. I learned a lot about him, and we chat everyday. I had a little moment at one point though because the first time we met I liked him and thought he was sweet etc but then both him and I got busy and couldn't meet for a few weeks, and I kind of stopped replying to him at one point but he messaged me again saying my replies have become , then I felt bad and replied back and it made me feel like he actually cares. My past 'relationships' were all effort on my side and the guys were pretty unavailable and always ended fast, which is why I decided to stop dating for a bit to save me the heartache. So he seemed really different, when he messaged me we got back into the flow of texting regularly again and then he invited me to watch him perform at a local bar, and I did but left early and told him how great he was. We decided to meet 2 days later and we ate at a place nearby his and then went back to his. Now one of the 'red flags' which I tried to ignore was that he kept suggesting going back to his and I didn't want to because I'm the type of person who gets attached after sex, so the 3rd time we met after we ate we went back to his and to 'netflix and chill' basically and we ended up hooking up, which is what I was afraid of. I did clearly state on my profile that I wanted a relationship and not something casual and his profile also stated that he wanted a relationship but few days after we were talking on the app he changed it to 'don't know yet'. I noticed that but didn't think too deeply about it. Now at this point we've had sex, kissed and he's constantly complimenting me. We met again a few days later, went for a walk around the park and back to his to 'chill' and same thing again but I don't leave straight after which brings me to the conclusion that maybe he may still be interested in me as a gf? He baked cakes and left some for me, he makes me smoothies and plays his guitars to me and we chill like a normal couple?? He even kisses me on the forehead?? cheek? shoulder? and hugs me a lot.. The other day he went out for a meal with his mates and it was a place i'd never been to so I said 'I should go there', and then he turns around and says yeah 'we should go there together :)' ?!?!?!?! I'm confused. like it's been 2 months since we met, and I already like this guy?? I don't know much about his previous relationships though, but the other day I was at his and a call from a random number came through and he declined saying he doesn't pick up calls from numbers he doesn't recognise and that call came through twice and he rejected both times... and these days his replies are taking longer to come through , kinda pulling a slow fade I think but then he responds to every detail of my message properly when he does reply... it's giving me anxiety again, the reason why I stopped dating because I can't deal with this kind of stuff. I have a feeling his ex comes over or some other girls must go over to his when I'm not there? that just breaks my heart because he acts so genuinely interested in me and I'm pretty attached now :( Another thing, I wanted to mention was that, I'm of South Asian heritage and he's white, and I was wondering if he's only seeing me because he wanted something different? or just wanted to temporarily have fun and do coupley things? could that be a possibility? :( I told him I can't be seen with him yet because my asian parents friends would go and tell my parents and they would rather I date someone asian... but that doesn't mean I will because I'm looking for a relationship? but could that have made him think I'm not serious either? because I have developed feelings, genuinely, just because I'm an affection maybe.....lmao and libra lol he's leo, if anyone is curious lol Anyway long stort short, met guy off an app, talking for 2 months and been having sex but we also act like a couple, he stated he was looking for a relationship on his profile and then changed it to 'don't know yet' so now I'm confused if I'm someone he's genuinely considering as a gf or am I his fwb? is he just seeing me because I'm from a different ethnic background? what should I do? If I tell him I like him now [2 months in] would it be too early? we've met only like 4 times, but talk every day,,, I'm worried he might run away but then I guess that makes things clear for me :( Please help........... Link to comment
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