Journal..

[Morello]

You guys are good..

 

I feel like I need an emergency insert here!

 

Yesterday I felt like screaming and shouting at the top of my voice.. today I have this unbearable sadness all over me. Can it really happen that quick??

 

I know she has gone forever and it feels like it has just hit me like a train. Feel like crying for the first time in months. No tears yet.

 

Deleted the phone number and the "back-up". The only way of contacting would be home or work.. I'm not going to be that person! Not now, not ever.

 

My thoughts really go out to people who still have hope on their situation.. this is to come and it's tough, but will get through it :(

 

Same thing happened to me. Had a terrible day on Sunday that I started to think I was actually getting depressed. Than a good Monday and an awesome and confident Tuesday.

 

I think this is possibly because we are moving on (and feel like that in the good days) but still remember the good times and miss the other person (bad days). My hope is that with time the good days start to be more present than the bad ones.

[sputnik123]

Thanks Morello.

 

I have been through your posts.

 

I like your writing and I feel your pain buddy.

 

Thanks again.

[Morello]

Thanks buddy, I've been following your journey too. This place feels like a community. Let's keep moving forward.

[Carus]

I want to thank you all for your vulnerability. I get worried that I'm still so upset at this stage. Thoughts like "Am I truly broken this time..!?"

 

I think we all had hope for my situation but I'm doing what I can to let it go and move forward.

 

Hope you have an 'Up' day today brother*

 

C*

[dave4443]

Yeah just remember it will all get better :) embrace the cheapness makes you a better person towards others in the long run

[SweetGirl28]

I want to thank you all for your vulnerability. I get worried that I'm still so upset at this stage. Thoughts like "Am I truly broken this time..!?"

 

I think we all had hope for my situation but I'm doing what I can to let it go and move forward.

 

Hope you have an 'Up' day today brother*

 

C*

 

My hope for you isn't lost yet :)

[Carus]

My hope for you isn't lost yet :)

I love you SweetGirl, you know that ;-)

 

But yes, Hope for ME indeed....I will not let this break me and emerge even stronger than when I went in*

 

Still really enjoying the solidarity we all have going on here...Amazing...and I'll touch on that in my journal tonight*

 

Carus*

[SweetGirl28]

I love you SweetGirl, you know that ;-)

 

But yes, Hope for ME indeed....I will not let this break me and emerge even stronger than when I went in*

 

Still really enjoying the solidarity we all have going on here...Amazing...and I'll touch on that in my journal tonight*

 

Carus*

 

I love you! And love...I looooove love!

We aren't lost yet. We will have that special someone to wake up to,

sleep next to at night, that person who we want to call for no reason during the day....

It's gonna happen! Whether it be the ex for you or someone new, and definitely

someone new for me because I don't want anyone from my past! Lol

Hope your day is going well

[sputnik123]

One thing is for sure, we all love Carus!

 

It's your brother from another mother, SG x

 

3 great things happened today;

 

My son told me he loved me (he was in a great mood as just come out of school! lol)

 

This forum restores my faith in humanity

 

I reached day 53 NC on perhaps the toughest 2 days so far (she was 5 minutes from me all day).

 

 

Sweet dreams all x

[joker78]

One thing is for sure, we all love Carus!

 

It's your brother from another mother, SG x

 

3 great things happened today;

 

My son told me he loved me (he was in a great mood as just come out of school! lol)

 

This forum restores my faith in humanity

 

I reached day 53 NC on perhaps the toughest 2 days so far (she was 5 minutes from me all day).

 

 

Sweet dreams all x

 

Sputnik bro it sucks to hear that... I hope u stayed strong!

[sputnik123]

Hey guys,

 

I hope everyone is getting by O.K. You are all so wonderful :)

 

Something quite minor (although feels strangely major) happened overnight and I was looking for advice?

 

I'm not an expert on Whattsapp at all and I have now been unblocked from my "ex gf's", for the first time since our last mutual contact just under 3 months ago. As I was blocked, I didn't think anything of it at the time and the number was kept under my phone (under DO NOT CONTACT, which has obviously helped me).

 

Interestingly, her current picture is of her and a friend, but if it was her and her bf it probably would have killed me. I am feeling abit frozen to be honest.

 

I am Day 57 No Contact, I think. I have not contacted or seen her once, or checked any social media.

 

Can people be unblocked accidentally, or over a certain period of time can it happen automatically?

 

My progress recently has been better... it's like SHE KNOWS THIS, if she did it on purpose.

 

As explained, I have had nothing meaningful from her since the split.

[Piaresssss]

Nope it doesn't randomly happen over time. You have to choose to unblock a number.

 

That being said please do not read into it. Keep up that nc and keep healing.

 

I understand the feeling that it is like they know. Everytime i start to feel better something about the ex knocks me back.

[dave4443]

Yeah she would have had to unblock you. Could be she thinks oh if I unblock him he might message me, or maybe she was thinking of messaging you. If she didn't care at all she would have left it unblocked, but it's not enough to message her!

 

Unless you want too, I mean messaging can help, if you get a crap response you can be like oh well at least I don't have to think about giving her space to get back anymore and it will just be for you!

 

It helped me a lot, but it gave me a week of intense pain until it got better, was worth it though so it's your choice!

[SweetGirl28]

Hey guys,

 

I hope everyone is getting by O.K. You are all so wonderful :)

 

Something quite minor (although feels strangely major) happened overnight and I was looking for advice?

 

I'm not an expert on Whattsapp at all and I have now been unblocked from my "ex gf's", for the first time since our last mutual contact just under 3 months ago. As I was blocked, I didn't think anything of it at the time and the number was kept under my phone (under DO NOT CONTACT, which has obviously helped me).

 

Interestingly, her current picture is of her and a friend, but if it was her and her bf it probably would have killed me. I am feeling abit frozen to be honest.

 

I am Day 57 No Contact, I think. I have not contacted or seen her once, or checked any social media.

 

Can people be unblocked accidentally, or over a certain period of time can it happen automatically?

 

My progress recently has been better... it's like SHE KNOWS THIS, if she did it on purpose.

 

As explained, I have had nothing meaningful from her since the split.

 

Why don't you block her now? Is this an app where you'll see her now when she posts?

You don't want reminders popping up when you're trying to heal.

[Carus]

I've been trying to warn you...

 

Most rebounds fail, and when they do....

 

But please think of what happened to me last week and proceed with caution*

 

Carus*

[sputnik123]

Evening all,

 

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend!

 

Many thanks for your invaluable replies, as always :)

 

Firstly, the WA thing on Friday night/Saturday morning.. I really don't know then, it's knocked me sideways to be honest. It seems really strange to make the active decision to unblock me after nearly 2 months of no contact, then not actually say anything..I know in the grand scheme of things it's minor, but why do it, and why now?

 

Is it a step towards the friendzone? - no thanks!

Is it a trap? - all I need...

Is it just curiosity? probably...but why then keep it on?

 

I know, I know, my advice in this situation would generally be to ignore/ block this person, they are not worth it etc...

 

This is just not my style and she knows this. I think to block would show my animosity (alot of me does hate this), but to leave it (her on there, but not contact) would be showing indifference..

 

But what happens when the profile pic changes to something I have never actually seen yet (them together..). AM I STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS? Then block/delete when it changes?

 

Seems like a game now.

 

Arghh.. I just don't know! lol

 

Anyway, back in the "real world".. I have scrambled to 58 days no contact. I have no instant urge to reach out to her, even though it now seems so much easier.

 

At the end of last week, a strange feeling started to consume me.. I suddenly felt more happy about myself and what I was doing, who I had become. I felt so much stronger within myself than I had done in so long, even whilst we were together. It was fleeting, after what occurred later that day, which left me confused, but it was real. This is where I get back to females having a 6th sense of such things. I have always believed this!

 

The weekend was great, was with family on Friday night for a meal and everyone enjoyed themselves. Talk of the ex was strictly off limits, as always and I didn't find myself thinking over it much.

 

Yesterday I took my boy to his first football game and we both had a wonderful time. Again, for so many reasons I think I am making progress and I smile and laugh often. But the pain is still there.. it's an under current.

 

I am sleeping quite well at the moment. I wear myself out quite alot during the week, so it's hard not to!

 

Eating isn't a problem and I exercise daily, whether it be a long walk, or a run.

 

Still getting on with a girl at work and we have said it will be a slow burner at the moment, she knows the situation...

 

Another curveball thrown my direction is that the ex-wife is declaring her love to me again (after 3 years since b/up!)... This is complicated though, as I have custody of our son, so there are other strong reasons for her "attachment". This is a place I refuse to go to ever again though, for many, many reasons. Again, it's that blasted female intuition!!

 

My thoughts then go back to my recent ex. How the hell has she been given so much time in my head when she did this to me? I really can't answer that at the moment.

 

Confused.com

 

Will be back here as soon as/if I hear anything as I will probably need help x

[Piaresssss]

Great to read you had such a good weekend.

 

If you dont wanna block her just delete the number. She will never know and it will save you from having to see pictures of things you would rather not be seeing. Its a win win in my eyes.

 

Seems like alot is going your way at the moment. Possibly a new romance around the corner. Health is good. You seem very much in control.

 

Its great to read you doing so well. Makes me feel happier myself.

[Carus]

"Again, for so many reasons I think I am making progress and I smile and laugh often. But the pain is still there.. it's an under current." ~ Exactly how it feels for me brother. I'm generally ok but that pain just sits in the chest making it hard to breathe sometimes.

 

If ur strong enough to not go looking, I wouldn't go blocking or deleting. It shows ur still affected by her..(which we know you are but we don't want her to know!).

 

As for your ex wife...*sigh, always the ones we 'don't' want huh..!? :)

 

Carry on buddy. But keep one eye open. I've had a feeling for a while now that your ex's honeymoon stage would be wearing thin by now....

 

Just in case: Would you want her back...?

 

Just asking so we can make the right plans...

 

Carus*

[sputnik123]

Thanks guys.

 

I love you both!

 

If she changes it I will see it as a test of my resolve and further validation of the person she now is.. maybe I need this dose of reality, come what may.

 

It's all very well falling off her radar with no contact, but one day I will be confronted with it.

 

Luckily, my pic is one of me on a good day, on my own

 

I am really pushing myself out of it at the moment, pressing hard.. maybe too hard, but I just need to fully rise above this melancholy she put me in at the time.

 

Yes dear *Carus, I read on your thread that you were advised your ex was likely to make contact mid January (whereas it was abit sooner).. it seems for some people the post festive period blues has set in and January reality comes to settle. January is a tough month for many reasons.

 

I find myself getting totally lost in music these days, it is so helpful. I will never forget it's magical power again.

 

To be totally honest, I was truly besotted with my ex, despite all of her obvious flaws. Willing to put up with so much shxt. She tore my heart in two, quite easily, in the end.

 

I don't think I could consider a reconcile. My son deserves better, for one.

[Carus]

Yes dear *Carus, I read on your thread that you were advised your ex was likely to make contact mid January (whereas it was abit sooner)...

If you are referring to the Shaman, she actually said in December, about 4-6 months with 'something' significant happening in March....

 

So I'm not sure if last week was actually that and she just got her timing wrong or if there is indeed more to come... Only time will tell I guess.

I don't think I could consider a reconcile. My son deserves better, for one.

OK, in that case you have every right to just ignore anything that comes.

 

I guess we'll see how you feel when and if that happens....

 

Proud of you Bud. You've been so strong....

 

Will make a journal entry now...>>

 

Carus*

[SweetGirl28]

Hope today finds you well :)

 

Use your son as your driving force to keep NC and keep going forward.

 

How do you feel about the other girl? I know you're taking it as it comes with her, but do you

feel any real spark? I'm finding it impossible to connect, lol. Being physically attracted comes

easy. The rest, ughhhhhhhh..........I get so down. It was instant everything with the ex, and

now it feels like a job :(

[sputnik123]

59 Days No Contact...

 

I now feel like I'm being watched! lol. Why unblock me and not say anything?

 

I have no real desire to reach out, but one picture change could alter my frame of mind.. Why am I risking it?

 

Today was abit of a write off to be honest, work was crappy, weather terrible and this evening didn't really go to plan.

 

I still have dear old NC to keep me company! lol

 

Now listening to music.. definitely my saviour today.

 

Dear Sweets, in answer to your question, me and the "other" girl get on so well, we have always been great friends and she says she has always held a love for me (which is now quite apparent). She is a great mother, kind , funny, caring, clever, sweet and excellent at her job, which I admire. There is a massive connection. The main problem would be that I am just not super attracted to her, sexually. I can't decide whether I am still too much into the ex, or this will change?

I think I still probably fancy the ex, alot. shame...my relationships to date I have always placed probably too much emphasis on the instant attraction and gone from there. Cue the heartbreaks further down the line!

 

Will be better tomorrow.. feel like a cloud over me today (real and metaphorical)

 

I hope everyone has a peaceful night x

[sputnik123]

ROCK > ME

 

Day 60 No Contact! (my medal is in the post I guess)

 

Well, today was better than yesterday, which is something.

 

Find myself checking this flaming picture all too often for any changes..feel like on death row, on trial for what should be a meaningless part of my history I guess, but stubbornly refuses to leave my brain.

 

The question stands.. why unblock me!

 

Sweet dreams all x

[sputnik123]

Just an update..

 

She has reached out, with family news and I responded, out of courtesy.

 

I then said my final goodbye, as deep down I know she is not the person I should be with and it's gone.

 

It hurts so much that 3 years has ended like this (nothingness), but I know it's for the best and I need to truly move on.

 

Good night all and thanks for your input x

[Carus]

I knew it was coming. Who's the SoothSayer now! :)

 

You were very strong saying goodbye, although some more details would be good.

 

The whole thing just sux really. Sorry bud. I hope it won't set you back as much as it did me.

 

I guess that is where Hope can be a real hindrance.

 

Please keep posting for a bit.

 

Carus*