sputnik123 Posted June 15, 2018 Author Share Posted June 15, 2018 Hi guys, I hope everyone is doing O.K.. Message just in, from a new number.. the ex asking me the same questions as 2 months ago.. alot more polite and civil now.. as mentioned, I didn't reply to the last messages and blocked that number.. What is she up to? i don't get it.. As an aside, I saw a mutual friend in the street a couple of hours ago and it was a quick hi.. why oh why.. Link to comment
Carus Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 "Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in!" ~ The Godfather* What is she up to? i don't get it.. You've read my thread right? ....and countless others.... I think the question is not "What is she up to"? but rather "What do I wanna do with it...."..... Nice to 'see' you regardless Brother* Carus* Link to comment
Long Gone Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 Hey sput! Missed your post, that is great news that you are seeing someone! So happy for you! It's weird, but I'm really looking forward to that prospect of meeting someone at some point....I think that's a good sign, especially as you say for the ex to not be the the first and last thing you think about....I look forward to that! Keep us updated! Link to comment
Morello Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 Hi Sputnik Don't know the content of the message, but given your current situation (dating someone else) and how she's been acting, I'd keep ignoring. You seem not to want to have anything to with her so I'm not sure what you could gain from responding. Like Carus said, it's not really relevant why she's doing it. You most likely will never know. Maybe she doesn't even know either. Link to comment
Stacks44 Posted July 9, 2018 Share Posted July 9, 2018 I would just like to say that I'm an atheist and a nihilist, and I don't really think there's much more to us than chemical reactions and electricity coming together to form a mind. That being said, I really think one day we may discover that we are more then just individuals. It always seems that there are equal and opposite reactions to our Behavior the more we pull the more they push and vice versa. It might be my tiny brain trying to make sense of a universe that's far outside my comprehension but something tells me just as a hive of bees comes together and acts as a single organism we might act in just the same way on a far grander scale. The reason she contacted you may be irrelevant, but it's definitely proof that you are The Pusher and she is the puller and it's always better to be the Pusher Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted September 12, 2018 Author Share Posted September 12, 2018 Hi all, I hope everyone is doing OK! :) Just a little update my end.. Well, I was going to mention initially that the last of the ex "major" dates post break-up had now been and gone (our respective birthdays) a couple of weeks ago, quite close together and nothing.. The last remaining date before the 1 year split anniversary, next month. This got me to thinking that this could well be "it" and would never hear from her again.. It all seemed so distant and I am happily with someone else, becoming publicly official, planning the future, living life etc etc. Low and behold a text arrives in this afternoon, completely out of the blue.. "Do you still have my ____ jacket?".. The jacket in question must be worth no more than £20 and has not once been asked after in 11 months since the split (she left many many clothes at my house and said at the time she had no want/need for them). I deleted the last message in June and didn't respond (her asking me if I wanted something I had left at her house).. The picture is again just of her with lyrics to a sad break up song attached... I just don't get this.. since January I have not made any contact at all, but this is the 4th message from her now, all 2-3 months apart. I still have not even seen her around. As I said, I deleted the message.. I see no need to block or respond but she is renting the space in my head again :( Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 I'm so happy to hear you're happy and well, and moved on! And I hope your son is well Clearly given her pic with a verse of a break up song means she's single and sniffing back around again. Good riddens, just for how she acted that affected your son is reason enough to never look back. Lame way to contact, sending a cold msg asking if you have her jacket. I'd not reply either. Again, in nearly a year, and not once did she ark for your son, pfffttttt to her. I wish you all the happiness you are so deserving of! Link to comment
11moreweeks Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 Hi all, I hope everyone is doing OK! :) Just a little update my end.. Well, I was going to mention initially that the last of the ex "major" dates post break-up had now been and gone (our respective birthdays) a couple of weeks ago, quite close together and nothing.. The last remaining date before the 1 year split anniversary, next month. This got me to thinking that this could well be "it" and would never hear from her again.. It all seemed so distant and I am happily with someone else, becoming publicly official, planning the future, living life etc etc. Low and behold a text arrives in this afternoon, completely out of the blue.. "Do you still have my ____ jacket?".. The jacket in question must be worth no more than £20 and has not once been asked after in 11 months since the split (she left many many clothes at my house and said at the time she had no want/need for them). I deleted the last message in June and didn't respond (her asking me if I wanted something I had left at her house).. The picture is again just of her with lyrics to a sad break up song attached... I just don't get this.. since January I have not made any contact at all, but this is the 4th message from her now, all 2-3 months apart. I still have not even seen her around. As I said, I deleted the message.. I see no need to block or respond but she is renting the space in my head again :( I'm nearing that point myself. While my birthday is long passed, her birthday is coming up, what was/were our anniversaries (formalizing it vs not anniversaries), and the 1-year date from the breakup not long after that. Like you, I largely stopped contacting her, but she sent me text messages (for me, 1-2 months apart) through the point when I blocked her. While I am concerned of what might happen around this time, I feel some security knowing that I won't do anything and that I have her blocked. A friend had told me, based on his experiences with his own exes that were behaving similarly, that my ex would text me "once a month until she got married to someone else". It doesn't mean anything other than her feeling some kind of need to text you, for her own benefits or reasons, and usually for things that don't mean much. I opted to block her because it didn't feel good for me, and especially since you are dating someone else, I think you should block her because she's most likely going to continue this, and her renting your head space is a larger issue now when in a relationship with someone else than it was before when you were just single / recovering (it will lead to emotional unavailability in some capacity for short periods of time every 2-3 months). Keep up the good work. I don't think it's good to respond during the young (first year or two) stages of a new relationship (nor during tougher times of a later stage. Only really might be okay when you're established with someone else and happy), and I think there's the simple benefit of independence and focus from blocking her from the main avenues of communication (in this case, phone). Link to comment
Carus Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 It's the 'Indirect/Direct' approach, as Craig Kenneth likes to call it. Play it as you see fit buddy* There's also a widespread theory that it is when you've finally met someone else and are truly moving on, this is when this kind of thing happens. You are now in that club Sput..! :) Always good to 'see' you and that your post pulled SweetGirl out of hiding...hehe.. I always knew you'd make it* Regards Carus* Link to comment
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