Jump to content

dave4443

Bronze Member
  • Posts

    235
  • Joined

Everything posted by dave4443

  1. Just in case anyone finds this through google things worked out with this one and we're still together so it does work! It's not always malicious motives underneath this
  2. We do wander off I just came back out of curiosity haha, don't worry though guys, it gets so much easier and eventually you'll hit indifference, I probably could have had another shot at my ex after a year but I didn't even think of her as a friend at that point
  3. That's unfair on her part I would say. Sure honesty is a good trait and all but it's just one of the white lies you tell to who you're with 'you're the best sex' 'you're the most handsome guy I know' it's just standard things you say to make sure your partner doesn't get these insecurities. I'm pretty sure if you had slept with someone in between and said this stuff then she would go crazy at you for saying that and not want yo have sex again for fear of being worse.
  4. Damn this post takes me back, my ex was the same with the dreaded ' we will get back together one day '. I remember when I found out we stopped speaking for a bit, but slept together a few times a month later. She said she hopes I don't tell this new guy if they ever get more serious since me and her are 'friends now' dear god I cringe thinking back to myself back then. Don't tell him, it will do nothing and more likely he probably won't believe you she could easily say you're the crazy ex trying to break them up. Like others have said you will realise what type of person she is and you'll be better off eventually when you get someone new It happens just, enjoy being single for a while and tell yourself one day you will look back and not even care. My ex messaged me the other day to pick some stuff up, a few months ago I would have been all over this opportunity but this time I forgot to reply to her, even though we were on friendly terms for a few messages, and now I can't even be bothered replying at all
  5. Don't be disheartened with the online dating thing, it takes a lot of matches and bad dates to find a decent one from them. I felt the same at one point thinking damn I'm not getting the best people on here, but it's just because of all the options. They go off first conversations and pictures so if a woman is messaging them about sex ( sorry to be crude ) but most guys would probably be jumping all over that instead of looking for something more serious ( not all just a lot of them will ). If the place you live is really like that have you tried a dating app like tinder but if you pay you can change your location? I did that and put my location to the nearest city and it was so much better and I met the current girlfriend that way, it's worth a try!
  6. Anger is definitely the best emotion after a breakup. for me it was anyway it stopped me crying on those long days haha. Well done for not crying for a few days though! Sounds weird to say that to someone... I remember counting the days like that saying I haven't cried in 3 days... and eventually I forgot how long it had been since I cried, that was a great moment. I have my ex on Instagram now since she had always followed me and even though she hadn't liked anything since we broke up she did like the picture of me and the new girl I'm dating which was strange, so I let curiosity get the better of me and followed her back but, it's easy now. I just looked at her pictures of her and her new guy and thought it was nice she is happy too, I still care for her in the sense that she was a big part of my life and I don't wish her ill anymore.... believe me I did for a while. At least you're on your way to healing I'm sure you'll be there quicker than I was!
  7. Don't worry we all had those moments just to try and be close again. My breakup was like our third I think in the end Haha, it will take a bit longer depending how long you were together but like the other guy said follow his tips, the gym is definitely a big one and helps wonders, if you've not done the gym much before download an app called strong lifts, easy to follow and after around 3 weeks you'll notice how much better you look! Helps that people will start looking at the new you too ;)
  8. You're doing well to say it's only been a week haha. But yeah like everyone said it's really up and down for a while afterwards, when the contact stops properly ( because if you're anything like most of us you will probably break a few more times and set yourself back, don't worry it's natural) then you'll start healing properly. Took a couple months of no contact for me to feel a bit more stable, but I accidentally ran into her a few times but it wasn't so bad since I knew I would never speak to her outside those accidents 8 months since the breakup and like... 4 months since we stopped talking, it's easy now I had a look at her Instagram and felt happy for her that she's got someone who suits her better, so you will get there! Just keep looking forward to one day meeting someone even better ;)
  9. I love ice skating for dates, easy way of holding on to eachother and breaking the awkwardness of touching anyway Fast food is fine for most people on dates I think if you're doing something proper after it i doubt it matters much
  10. Her and her first guy didn't work out, we remained friends for a bit ( never do that ) until a big argument one day from my part after being sick of the friendship thing. She's with someone else now and so am I. Fit much better with the new person and look back confused as to why I wanted the ex for so long, think it's more of the fact that I wanted what I couldn't have and missed the comfort but you'll find someone better one day
  11. I would quote your reply to me Carus but I can't figure out how to quote parts of a reply haha. But yes a lot of stamina I'm constantly tired but I can't complain. As for the Jessica, I had a few of my own Jessica's after my breakup, each time I figured I'd rather keep trying than close myself off and eventually it pays off. One girl I really hit it off with and we had two great dates and spoke a lot after, then all of a sudden she vanished and never replied, I guess we never know what's going on in people's lives at the time but at the very least it shows you will find someone else and there's plenty of people out there for you and everyone else. Just make sure none of you settle because you're lonely for the first one, I know a lot of people who have done this and it's worth holding out for the connection I liked your reply to her by the way, shows who you are and if she doesn't reply it's her loss. No sense hiding yourself until you get deeper and it would be harder if she didn't like it. Good luck with her!
  12. It's going well thanks! she's a Latin girl so very affectionate which is a nice change, makes it a lot easier since I don't have to guess if she likes me haha. She will get back in touch if she wants, there's no harm in messaging back though persistence works sometimes but it all is up to you. On the bright side looking back at the start of this forum post you've come a long way with the happiness in your posts even when you're sad it's still not the same level as before! I'm sure the right girl is around the corner for You, and I'm glad you have peace knowing you did all you could, the hardest part for me was knowing I didn't do what I could and coming to terms with my faults as well as hers was difficult, at least you don't have that!
  13. I know I was worried about the rebound thing at first but it's been 7 months for me since the breakup and I no longer have a desire to get back with my ex either it's more just I'll always remember her since we were together so long, and being single you have more time to think but now she doesn't enter my mind as much. I was honest though and when she understood and said she can help it just made me forget the ex quicker haha. Congratulations! Patience is the hard one I've started learning, only think they're ignoring you if it's been more than a few days. She definitely sounds into you with that talk so that's great. Don't worry about the animals she'll probably find it cute that you're a buff guy scared of turantulas I doubt it will be an issue whatsoever.
  14. Yeah she may still get in touch but I know what you mean. When I first started dating again and if it didn't work out with someone it hit may way harder. I remember having two dates with a woman where I thought we hit it off and then after a few days she just went silent for good. For a week I was a mess, even though it was only two dates and I cringe looking back but I guess it's just a more emotional state during that time
  15. Glad you've met someone Carus! don't be afraid of it being a rebound at all, I don't really believe it in unless it's when you're still during your crying and can't get out of bed stage, as of now you've healed a lot, sure you might be sad still but who is to say that what gets you out of that sadness can't be someone to love? When I met the girl I'm dating now it propelled me forward through months of healing and the while at first I still missed my ex I rarely think of her now. So really happy for you man! At the very least at least you know you have a connection and an ability to fall for others
  16. I was more or less thinking that, it was just with her saying she knows she wants to be with me she just wants to start with a clear head when she can focus on us that confuses me. Saying she still wants to talk and wants to try again she's just so stressed right now I dunno made me think maybe there is hope, and then liking my Insta stuff made me think if she was truly done then she wouldn't do that too. But yeah I'll take your advice and just leave her be, the mixed messages just confused me a bit
  17. From what I gather it's not like she wants to be back with him, it's just confusing her head because she's realised she isn't fully over him. Which I understand since I've been in that situation before when I met a great girl but wasn't ready, unfortunately my chance had gone when I was. Since she's going through other personal issues it was my idea to tell her to take some time for herself but yeah I get your point too, I haven't messaged her yet she just liked all my social media stuff 😂 but I figured if it's right person wrong time I wouldn't mind trying it again when the air is cleared. Fortunately I've grown up since my major breakup last year so I don't let things get me down like this and whatever happens happens
  18. Been dating a great girl recently and things were going amazing. She would tell me how she was so glad she net someone like me all that stuff which has made the next part harder. A guy she used to date found out she was moving on and is constantly bombarding her with messages, she was getting confused, she wants to be with me but wants to sort her head out first before anything because she can't be happy while she's confused. I told her I understand and she should take some time for herself, she wants to be with me but needs time... She thanked me for understanding, I sent her a last message saying I'm here when she wants to talk and she didn't respond , which I didn't mind because I did tell her to take time. I know it sounds daft but last night after a day of not speaking she liked my Insta pic ( I feel like a kid for even bringing that up ) but I figured if she truly wanted me out her life for good she wouldn't have done? maybe I'm just being silly but I trust that she's being honest about needing time. I was wondering if anyone thinks messaging her again in a day or two just to say hi is a decent idea? Thing is the other guy will constantly be bombarding her stressing her out even more so I don't want to cause anymore stress... Typing it out I know it seems obvious to just give up but i would rather try than just leave it in the past since I like her a lot. Cheers guys
  19. Glad you're feeling a bit better man. Don't try and force the thoughts away just one day they'll be less and you'll be like huh I haven't thought of her for a few hours that's weird well done for trying to stick to the gym if nothing else it'll give you confidence in the future with other women! my friend did the same thing after his breakup, got more into it and now his girlfriend is stunning and he wonders what he was ever doing with his ex so good times to come for you!
  20. Think of it as a good step, deep down you've wanted her to get in touch and she did, but you responded like this in a moment of clarity which shows how you really feel towards her after what she's done which is great! You got through the horrible rose tinted glasses for a moment and eventually that will be how you feel all the time, you're on the right path
  21. Following your own advice is the most difficult part of this 😂
  22. Mine was years ago when we first split up. She was with someone else pretty quickly but I did way worse than you have done constant bombardment of texts and calls for a month and meeting up crying ( I cringe looking back at that ). I finally stopped and we met up kind of like you did a bit later, went well I handled it along the same lines you did. After a month or two after the meeting we started talking a bit slower and flirting a bit more until we met up, things kind of fell back into place after that :) Of course I have more hope for you because what led to our breakup was her cheating on me and me acting cold so I guess whilst we were apart I wanted nothing more than to have her back but when I had her, the resentment came back and the fact she left me while I was trying to forgive made it harder, so since your situation had little animosity I have faith that should it happen for you it will be a much more pleasant experience. As for getting her back, it honestly happened around the point that I was over her and didn't care one way or another, it made it much easier to flirt and be myself again. Just wanted to let you know so you don't make the same mistakes I did if what you truly want when the fog is lifted is to be with her :)
  23. Can I ask one thing Carus? If she does contact again which seems likely by the looks of it so kudos to you. Do you know how you'll deal with what she's done in the long run? Just from experience with getting my ex back after 6 months it was bliss but after a while I started resenting her for leaving something so perfect and it never got back to the way it was as in my head I always thought what's the point she'll just do it again. I'm not trying to be a downer here or say don't do it because I can tell there's a lot of love and it will most likely be worth it, just want to make sure you've thought of that side of it too :)
  24. I agree with sweet girl here. It seems like the thing tearing you apart is not knowing whether to reach out or not so I think you just should. The worst thing that can happen is she isn't interested but she's broken up with you once and you've dealt with it very well, if that's the case it won't be anywhere near as painful as the first time ( will still be hard don't get me wrong ). If you do it though at least the what if's will be gone from your mind and you can move forward knowing there's nothing you can do :) ( maybe wait until you get back though don't waste your last day waiting for a reply )
  25. I know what you mean it's the worst part, but someone like you will definitely find someone they connect with like that again. Especially on all these seminar and spiritual trips you're going on :) keep going you're doing great x
×
×
  • Create New...