sweetpea03 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 the epidural was great.. until it wore off right before she started pushing. Epidurals don't "wear off"... they are a needle in your back and you have a button to continuously give yourself more pain medication when you need it. You can push the button as much as you want because it will only give you so much medication and it self-limits the amount. It it didn't work for it, it wasn't because it wore off, it was because she either didn't give herself more pain relief or something happened to the needle where it was no longer in place. Epidurals are great pain relief. I had one for over a day after one of my surgeries and loved it. I didn't have to use medication, so I could be in the room and not loopy. Though don't keep it in too long, or it will give you a head ache or migraine. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Epidurals don't "wear off"... they are a needle in your back and you have a button to continuously give yourself more pain medication when you need it. You can push the button as much as you want because it will only give you so much medication and it self-limits the amount. It it didn't work for it, it wasn't because it wore off, it was because she either didn't give herself more pain relief or something happened to the needle where it was no longer in place. Epidurals are great pain relief. I had one for over a day after one of my surgeries and loved it. I didn't have to use medication, so I could be in the room and not loopy. Though don't keep it in too long, or it will give you a head ache or migraine. Her's wore off in the sense that they do stop giving it to you before you push to allow you some control over the pushing. Her's only numbed her left side, she felt everything on her right side that was going on on top of she was pushing for a solid 3-5 hours and toward the end, she could could feel it all. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 They reduce the medication so you feel the urge to push. Link to comment
sweetpea03 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Her's wore off in the sense that they do stop giving it to you before you push to allow you some control over the pushing. Her's only numbed her left side, she felt everything on her right side that was going on on top of she was pushing for a solid 3-5 hours and toward the end, she could could feel it all. A few friends and my mother had the epidural all the way through. My mom jokes about not feeling anything when the doctor told her to push, and she felt as if she was just making faces to pretend to be pushing. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 LS, I have gotten to know you pretty well over the last few months. Granted I still don't 'know' you but, I feel you do want a child, and even if this isn't when you planned it to a T, what scares you the most is the whole labor thing. And that's because instead of casually discussing what you do and don't want one day now, if you are pregnant, you are really going to have to start thinking of what you want and the reality. I don't think it's having a child so much that scares you, it's the fact that is' real now. It's here and there is a huge possibility (about labor). Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 A few friends and my mother had the epidural all the way through. My mom jokes about not feeling anything when the doctor told her to push, and she felt as if she was just making faces to pretend to be pushing. That's the kind of labor I want, lol. If I feel anything, you can bet CS will feel it right along with me. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Labours scary. But chances are even if you dont have this baby one day if you want kids, your going to have to face it. My mum had a c section with me and she took ages to get better from it, with my sister it was natural and she said it wasnt THAT bad and that she felt fine a few hours after. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 lostnscared, you just got the positive pregnancy result. Don't bog yourself down with all the details of labor right now. You are going to worry yourself sick. Make an appointment with your doctor to confirm the pregnancy and then go from there. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Labor is nothing compared to the other things you have to go through when having a baby...If you're ok with the rest, I wouldn't bother worrying myself over pain of labor. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Lost..think of it this way. In a few years from now, when you do decide to actually have a baby, odds are you are going to thnik the same things "OMG, this is going to hurt!" If the fear of child birth is part of the reason why you don't feel ready, odds are those feelings will always be there. If you're afraid, you're afraid. I have friends in their early 30s still saying they are afraid of childbirth. Of course its terrifying to think of it, but you aren't the only person who's been afraid of childbirth, and have gotten through it. My coworker was one, and she did a natural child birth with no drugs!! Get yourself properly tested first, and then perhaps speak to someone. Make the decision for yourself. I know many many people who have had their children totally unplanned, totally unexpected, and it turned out just wonderfully. A good friend of the family fell pregnant two years ago, she was a total mess prior to the birth of her daughter [pretty much the last person we'd ever think would have a baby!]. Everyone was shocked, talked about her behind her back, couldn't believe she got pregnant, etc...and guess what? She's an amazing mother, she still has all her friends, her life has been side tracked a bit, but the little girl is now two, and she's going back to school to complete her degree. While it may feel like the wrong time, I doubt you'll regret your child. Especially if you have a strong maternal desire which people seemed to have expressed based on your postings around the forum. Link to comment
Elaine Marley Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Lost, I understand how you feel. I was terrified too when I took the test. I was one day late and expected it to be negative as well, so I was shocked. It came at a really bad time too. I considered abortion but knew I probably couldn't go through with it and that the guilt would probably eat me alive for a long time. It seemed unfair to end the life inside me when I was better off than a lot of people and in a stable relationship. Like you, I feared labor most of all. I'd been afraid of it all my life and at one point was adamant I didn't want any children. Look, it's no picnic but was not the worst thing that ever happened to me. It wasn't even as bad as I thought it would be because once the epidural was in, I was fine. I was also afraid I wouldn't bond with my baby or something, but oh I did. I never thought I'd love something so much. Just think things through -- if you are leaning towards keeping it and then have an abortion, you could be plagued with guilt. I had an abortion a long time ago, and at that time I was adamant in my decision and had no doubt it was right at the time and I feel no guilt about it, but I knew if I had an abortion this time I around I would feel guilt and it just didn't feel right. Don't panic. Look inside yourself for what is truly right for you and don't let your fear of labor sway you as you shouldn't make a decision based on fear. Link to comment
SayWhen Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I'm sorry that it had to come at a time you weren't prepared for it, but there is no "perfect" time to have a child. During your nine months of pregnancy, if you decide to have the child, you will have a lot of adjustment time. You have gone through abortion before, and it sounds like something that would be very emotionally draining for you, but then, having a child would be as well. It's a difficult decision and I won't even pretend to know what I would do in your situation, but first things first...get to the doctor. Find out how far along you are, and go from there. It looks like from your threads that you had unprotected sex in the beginning of November...could you have conceived then? Regardless, I hope whatever decision you make is right for you...and don't worry about labor quite yet, you still have a ways to go! Good luck. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Wow, Thank you everyone for your insight and advice. I really appreciate it. I'm positive I'm pregnant. I took 4 other tests last night. And I'm starting to have symptoms. Oh well. Thankfully my mom is being super supportive, as is my boyfriend, and my friends. I think I'm going to keep the baby. I don't really feel like I have much of a choice. I had an abortion before and that really traumatized me. Before I was 19, not finished with college, dependent on my parents, and I had no income to my name. Now I'm older, been out of college for a couple of years, not dependent on my parents, live on my own, have a career, a lot of marketable skills, and I have income, my own car, my own everything. I still don't feel prepared, and I feel bad for the baby. My mom did make a point that if I didn't want a baby I wouldn't have put myself in this situation, so I guess I need to man up and deal with it. I'm still terrified about the labor, but am trying to put that to backside. Thank you. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 How is your relationship with your boyfriend? Are you sure he's the one you want to start a family with? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 As someone once told me: "You are never truly prepared in any capacity to have children. You can 'prepare' yourself well enough." I know you would rather have a lot more done or have met a lot more goals before the baby came but even if you had done everything precisely the way you wanted it, you still wouldn't feel prepared, try to look at it that way. And same goes for the labor. No amount of preparing can prepare you for that but you can educate yourself fully on it. I hope to hear many more updates for you! Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 How is your relationship with your boyfriend? Are you sure he's the one you want to start a family with? My relationship with my boyfriend is good. The relationship has been off and on though. In terms of me being sure that he is the one I wanted to start family with--I think I am. He's very good with kids, and has a lot of great family values, etc. I don't really want to think of this as starting a family, lol. I plan on getting the nonhormonal IUD after this is said and done. I know that pregnancy and having a baby can change things, so I don't want to say that this is going to go well between us, I just hope it does(if that makes sense). But the relationship has certainly been unstable in the past, due to immaturity, and our ages, and communication issues, etc. It's gotten a lot better, but we had broke up as early as June and didn't get back together until August. So we really have only been back together for the last 5/6 months. That is why we both were wanting to wait as well--before marriage and children. Edited to add--so me being pregnant now has certainly made it so that we are really going to have to get ourselves together this time around. We have been together since I was 17 though(6 years) so I know him pretty well. I know his bad habits--for instance smoking. He stopped smoking yesterday, for the sake of the baby and being a good role model. For me no more popping sleeping pills, or diet pills, etc. We both are definitely communicating a lot so far--which is helpful. And I told him about wanting to move to be with my mom(she lives in TN) and he was a little upset about that at first, but is now willing to consider it. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 As someone once told me: "You are never truly prepared in any capacity to have children. You can 'prepare' yourself well enough." I know you would rather have a lot more done or have met a lot more goals before the baby came but even if you had done everything precisely the way you wanted it, you still wouldn't feel prepared, try to look at it that way. And same goes for the labor. No amount of preparing can prepare you for that but you can educate yourself fully on it. I hope to hear many more updates for you! I'll give updates for sure. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Ok, because that would certainly be another factor to consider. Once the baby comes, it's going to be a lot more difficult to end the relationship if you do find that it's not working. And a break up would be hard on the child. To me, that's a bigger issue to consider than delaying grad school by a year. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Ok, because that would certainly be another factor to consider. Once the baby comes, it's going to be a lot more difficult to end the relationship if you do find that it's not working. And a break up would be hard on the child. To me, that's a bigger issue to consider than delaying grad school by a year. Children are more resilient than we give credit for. LS, not to have you think too far into the future, but will you guys get married? Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Ok, because that would certainly be another factor to consider. Once the baby comes, it's going to be a lot more difficult to end the relationship if you do find that it's not working. And a break up would be hard on the child. To me, that's a bigger issue to consider than delaying grad school by a year. I know *sigh*. Thankfully we've made it this far(6 years) so I suspect that we would be okay. I just think that this is definitely going to be difficult--not only on our relationship but just in general. I know many people that made babies with the wrong person, and that is something that I think about--because in many of these cases, they didn't realize the person was "wrong" for them until after they had the child and saw the way the father interacted with the child and/or the fathers priorities. so we will really see. Time will tell. But I wouldn't be afraid to break it off, even with a child involved, if years down the road we just couldn't make it work. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 But I wouldn't be afraid to break it off, even with a child involved, if years down the road we just couldn't make it work. I'm jealous of you Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Children are more resilient than we give credit for. LS, not to have you think too far into the future, but will you guys get married? It really depends--I don't want to get married just because I'm pregnant. I think I will want to wait until after the baby comes to see how we are doing as a couple and then make that decision. I'm traditional in the sense that I would want to be married if I have a child, but I don't want to get married until after the baby comes. It will just be added stress and pressure, and I'm already feeling both of those right now. I'm sure by how he was acting yesterday that he will want to get married, but it won't happen until I feel comfortable with the idea. My parents just had a divorce, and they were married for 25 years, and got married because they had kids--I just worry about following that same cycle. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 It sounds like you're in a LOT better place than you were before, LS. I'm giving you credit...you're taking it really well. I'm happy for you. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 I'm jealous of you Lol. The reason I feel this way is because of my mom. She stayed with my dad, EXTREMELY unhappy(he was controlling, negative, and I can go on and on, and on) for the kids. And left the moment my sister turned 18. She told me that if she would have known then, what she knows now, she would have left a LONG time ago. She didn't think she could do it when she was younger, but knows now that she would have been able to do it. I think the fact that I've managed to live on my own, and get by without him, and really look up to my mom, has made it easier for me to see a bad situation and leave if I know it isn't healthy for me or the child. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 It really depends--I don't want to get married just because I'm pregnant. I think I will want to wait until after the baby comes to see how we are doing as a couple and then make that decision. I'm traditional in the sense that I would want to be married if I have a child, but I don't want to get married until after the baby comes. It will just be added stress and pressure, and I'm already feeling both of those right now. I'm sure by how he was acting yesterday that he will want to get married, but it won't happen until I feel comfortable with the idea. My parents just had a divorce, and they were married for 25 years, and got married because they had kids--I just worry about following that same cycle. I do not blame you one bit. I am a firm believer in just because you have a child together doesn't mean you have to get married. I know you would feel better traidtionally if you were married before the baby came but in the long run, you are looking out for yourself as well. Your feelings on the matter have to be taken into account as well. Link to comment
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