lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 It sounds like you're in a LOT better place than you were before, LS. I'm giving you credit...you're taking it really well. I'm happy for you. I'm not, I'm trying to make the best of it. My mom has really been a rock for me. But honestly I had several panic attacks last night. And this morning I woke up feeling as though I was living in a nightmare. Then I talked to my mom, and she made me feel better. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 I do not blame you one bit. I am a firm believer in just because you have a child together doesn't mean you have to get married. I know you would feel better traidtionally if you were married before the baby came but in the long run, you are looking out for yourself as well. Your feelings on the matter have to be taken into account as well. Yeah I feel the same way. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I wasn't raised to think that abortions were an option, and neither was I raised to think that it's ok to break up with the father of your children. I'm envious that you have so many options available to you. You're lucky to have a supportive mom. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I wasn't raised to think that abortions were an option, and neither was I raised to think that it's ok to break up with the father of your children. I'm envious that you have so many options available to you. You're lucky to have a supportive mom. I don't think any of us were ever 'raised' to see either as okay. For me, personally, I could never have an abortion. I know i would be afraid it would ruin my chances of having children one day. However, I am a firm believer in it is the individual woman's choice to have one or not. I have no right to judge or tell another woman she can't. And we all want to make it work the father of your child... however, there are cases (not LS's) that people very young get pregnant and it's obvious that person is not the right partner for them nor the father of the baby. It's a case by case bases really. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I'm not, I'm trying to make the best of it. My mom has really been a rock for me. But honestly I had several panic attacks last night. And this morning I woke up feeling as though I was living in a nightmare. Then I talked to my mom, and she made me feel better. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you have your mom's support! We will all help you through this! Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 I wasn't raised to think that abortions were an option, and neither was I raised to think that it's ok to break up with the father of your children. I'm envious that you have so many options available to you. You're lucky to have a supportive mom. Yeah. I was raised that way(believe me) but my mom has since changed(180) because the moment she divorced my dad she was able to be herself and be happy. I never thought I would have an abortion and had one. And in a way I am glad I had that one, I was far worse off then(no education, dependent on parents, no income, still a teen, etc). But it scarred me, and I believe one mistake is okay, but to repeatedly do it would be very traumatizing. I also have seen to many woman staying with men because they have kids, and in some case the relationships are abusive and dysfunctional. I don't want to be that way. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 I don't think any of us were ever 'raised' to see either as okay. For me, personally, I could never have an abortion. I know i would be afraid it would ruin my chances of having children one day. However, I am a firm believer in it is the individual woman's choice to have one or not. I have no right to judge or tell another woman she can't. And we all want to make it work the father of your child... however, there are cases (not LS's) that people very young get pregnant and it's obvious that person is not the right partner for them nor the father of the baby. It's a case by case bases really. Exactly. If my boyfriend changed and became a different person once we had kids, I would try everything to make it work, but if it didn't, I'm not staying. I don't want to repeat my mom's cycle(though looks like I am, lol). Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you have your mom's support! We will all help you through this! Awww thank you. I'm really glad everyone is being so supportive about it. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Honestly, I don't think it makes sense to past judgment on a pregnant women. "Well you shouldn't have done that." So?? It doesn't change the fact that you're pregnant. It doesn't matter what they think really. And when you're intending to keep the child, the goal is to have them come out healthy and have you be healthy too. Passing judgment only alienates you from others and makes it harder for you and a child, who really had no say about the matter. So don't waste your time with any crap from others because their judgments will do nothing but make you feel bad. And you totally don't need/want/deserve that right now. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Make sure you start on those wonderful prenatal vitamins! I would get the gel cap ones, they are not as bad to swallow, target also sells gummy ones, but to me they are kind of gross. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Honestly, I don't think it makes sense to past judgment on a pregnant women. "Well you shouldn't have done that." So?? It doesn't change the fact that you're pregnant. It doesn't matter what they think really. And when you're intending to keep the child, the goal is to have them come out healthy and have you be healthy too. Passing judgment only alienates you from others and makes it harder for you and a child, who really had no say about the matter. So don't waste your time with any crap from others because their judgments will do nothing but make you feel bad. And you totally don't need/want/deserve that right now. I know, that is why I have not told my dad, or my sisters yet. I really don't want to be criticized right now since I already feel bad about myself. My mom told me not to tell anyone that won't be supportive until I am strong, and happy and settled in my decision. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Make sure you start on those wonderful prenatal vitamins! I would get the gel cap ones, they are not as bad to swallow, target also sells gummy ones, but to me they are kind of gross. Okay. *sigh* Any advice you can give me about what I should expect over the next few months. I keep having cramp on the side of my hips, and every now and then I'll have a headache, but other than that I have no other symptoms. I hope it stays this way. I'm guessing I'm about 4-5 weeks pregnant. So I know that the real symptoms may not have showed up. I just hate puking--I hope I don't. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 It's really important that you see a doctor right away. That's number one. Do you have any specific questions about what to expect? Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I was really crampy at first, and that freaked me out, but it went away probably by like 7 or so weeks. I did throw up sometimes, but I more just couldn't eat at all, everything made me sick. That lasted honestly all through the first trimester. Plus, you might have a lot of discharge, it was just lovely. BUT you might have nothing. Symptoms come and go and some days I felt horrible and other days I felt fine. I say rest when you can because eventually you probably WILL get tired. They say don't take too many hot baths, but they really helped me when I didn't feel good and as long as you're not bringing your temp up really high (just don't burn your skin was my rule of thumb) you're fine. You can take tynonal, just not advil for pain. Also if you have a heating pad that is fine too, because it doesn't raise your body temperature. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 It's really important that you see a doctor right away. That's number one. Do you have any specific questions about what to expect? Meh, I don't know lol. I'm scared of the weight gain, the symptoms, how big my belly will look, and of course the labor pain lol(no one will be able to comfort me on that one). Other than that I think I'm still in denial. A part of me is thinking I'll get my period next week or something. How long does it take to lose post-baby weight? Is it true that first time mothers have long labors and most always have to be induced? Anyone familiar with hypnobabies? If I have a baby in a hot tub(at a hospital) can I still get the EPI? Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Yeah I'm cramping a lot too. *sigh*. I'm going to make an appointment to go to the doctor right away. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 In my experience (granted no baby myself but I have friends who had it) first time moms don't always have to be induced. No one I know who was a first time mom had to be induced and their labors were relatively normal (between 8-16 hours). Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Yes, definitely go to the doctor. They might even do an ultrasound on your first appointment to confirm due date, at least mine did and so did my friend. It just depends on the doctor, however, I will say, once you see the ultrasound (they don't look like much at that stage, in fact at mine you couldn't even see ANYTHING because I was less than 5 weeks) you will be pushed out of denial very quickly. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 In my experience (granted no baby myself but I have friends who had it) first time moms don't always have to be induced. No one I know who was a first time mom had to be induced and their labors were relatively normal (between 8-16 hours). Yeah my cousin, recently had her baby, she was an 8 hour labor. And in pain for 4-6 hours of it. Pushed for about 20-30 minutes. I'm thinking of using hypnobabies to cope through this pregnancy and the beginning of the labor until I am able to get an EPI. I'm so scared that I'm going to have a crazy labor and a crazy pregnancy. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Yeah my cousin, recently had her baby, she was an 8 hour labor. And in pain for 4-6 hours of it. Pushed for about 20-30 minutes. I'm thinking of using hypnobabies to cope through this pregnancy and the beginning of the labor until I am able to get an EPI. I'm so scared that I'm going to have a crazy labor and a crazy pregnancy. Yeah but it could be easy and breesy. If you worry it's just going to make it worse. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 How long does it take to lose post-baby weight? Depends. I gained over 50 lbs and lost it within a year. If you only gain 20 or 30 lbs, you should be able to lose it in even less. Is it true that first time mothers have long labors and most always have to be induced? Yes. First babies are more likely to go over the due date, which really isn't a problem. It's completely normal for a baby to be born a week or two late, but hospitals do tend to induce if the baby doesn't come on THEIR schedule. You don't have to do that, though. You can choose to wait and let the baby come when she's ready. First times are usually longer labors, yes. But when the time comes, you'll handle it. You'll do prenatal yoga and daily stretches and keep yourself strong. You'll meditate and practise proper breathing and when the time comes, you'll surprise yourself at how brave you'll be. Now really isn't the time to worry about the delivery. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Yes, go to the dr right away. Take your prenatal vit at night before you go to sleep. Taking them in the day were FAR too hard on my stomach and I would throw them back up within half hour. I stopped mine when I was 7 months pregnant because they were far too hard on my stomach. The dr did my blood work and said my levels of everything were perfect and I did not need them If you feel sick a lot eat a lot of little nutrious snacks during the day. Take naps if possible and try to remain as calm as you can. As the girls said not all first babies are induced. Neither of mine were. My son was only 3 days late or so. I do not know anyone that had to be induced. I never gained any weight at all. It is recommended you gain at least 25 pounds though. I had to be put on bed rest though and had to leave work because I was not gaining any weight and was passing out all the time. My son was lying on my main arteries and veins and he was already head down and engaged at 29 weeks so they did not want to disrupt him at all because they thought he would be born early. My blood pressure was very low and it was hard to remain verticle. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Depends. I gained over 50 lbs and lost it within a year. If you only gain 20 or 30 lbs, you should be able to lose it in even less. Yes. First babies are more likely to go over the due date, which really isn't a problem. It's completely normal for a baby to be born a week or two late, but hospitals do tend to induce if the baby doesn't come on THEIR schedule. You don't have to do that, though. You can choose to wait and let the baby come when she's ready. First times are usually longer labors, yes. But when the time comes, you'll handle it. You'll do prenatal yoga and daily stretches and keep yourself strong. You'll meditate and practise proper breathing and when the time comes, you'll surprise yourself at how brave you'll be. Now really isn't the time to worry about the delivery. Haha I know. I'm going to start working out next week(moderate walking and biking) and I've been eating lots of salads, dried fruit, subway, banana, and low calorie chocolate chip cookies(hey I have to have something resembling chocolate). I also make sure to drink lots of water. My pants are still fitting tight though. My stomach is a little bloated. I really hope I don't gain too much weight. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh wow no weight gain? I would like to only gain 25 pounds, but I don't know how to control that... I don't plan to eat a lot of fattie stuff. I am remaining on the diet I had originally planned for last week, but with an extra 200-300 calories a day. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Haha I know. I'm going to start working out next week(moderate walking and biking) and I've been eating lots of salads, dried fruit, subway, banana, and low calorie chocolate chip cookies(hey I have to have something resembling chocolate). I also make sure to drink lots of water. My pants are still fitting tight though. My stomach is a little bloated. I really hope I don't gain too much weight. You have to realize that doesn't depend on the baby, that depends on YOU. Just don't over eat, still eat moderatly and healthy and you won't. Women who gain a lot tend to just sit and eat under the assumption they are feeding for two. Obviously they want you to gain some but you can control how much you gain to a point. Link to comment
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