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lostnscared

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I already have a bachelors--I wanted to get a masters first. The not traveling I can deal with, but I don't know how I'm going to go to grad school with a baby, where I will be living next year, and how I'm going to deal with little sleep, etc.

 

My mother went through grad school with a toddler and being pregnant(my 2 older brothers). It's possible to do..

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The last time I was very sick. Even before I was supposed to get my period I had what felt like a flu, and extreme fatigue. The following week food tasted funny, the week after I had terrible heartburn, and then the week after I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed. So far this doesn't seem to be the same. I have incredible energy, and only thing I have is mild cramping, and sore breasts--this isn't anything at all like how I felt my last pregnancy.

 

Eeach pregnancy is different, even with the same woman sometimes. My mom had the same symptons with all 3 of us (flu like) and never knew she was pregnant until she went to the doctor. There are women who are sick with one child and never get sick with the next.

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Eeach pregnancy is different, even with the same woman sometimes. My mom had the same symptons with all 3 of us (flu like) and never knew she was pregnant until she went to the doctor. There are women who are sick with one child and never get sick with the next.

 

That was me. I puked 7 months with my first son and not at all with the second. In fact I felt awesome, but I just could not get out of bed.

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That was me. I puked 7 months with my first son and not at all with the second. In fact I felt awesome, but I just could not get out of bed.

 

Maybe that will happen to me. Because so far I don't have any similarities between this one and the last one AT ALL. I've heard that easy pregnancies mean a boy.

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^^ I am having a boy too, and my first 12 or so weeks was a lott of vomiting, I lost a lot of weight. But, luckily for me, it DID get better. However, now I can't stop eating. But, I feel fine.

 

I could never eat until the last month.....I never gained an ounce luckily. Mind you after he was born I was 40 pounds under my pre pregnancy weight. I guess he took in almost everything I ate. At least I had no weight to loose after. My second I had gained no weight by the time I miscarried at 16 weeks either.

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Each pregnancy is different. My mother had different symptoms with all 3 of us, each one seemed to get easier. A few friends of mine were lucky and had basically no symptoms what so ever through the whole pregnancy. Others unfortunately got extremely sick and threw up a lot. It really just depends on how your body reacts to the changes going on. A lot happens with the baby in the first 6 weeks.

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Really, right now, you need to take things one step at a time. Make an appointment with your doctor or go to PP to make sure you are pregnant. Then you ca think through what you want to do. if you are going to go through with it, you can start taking pre-natal vitamins, etc.

 

^I agree. Don't jump too far ahead of your will worry yourself sick.

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I could never eat until the last month.....I never gained an ounce luckily. Mind you after he was born I was 40 pounds under my pre pregnancy weight. I guess he took in almost everything I ate. At least I had no weight to loose after. My second I had gained no weight by the time I miscarried at 16 weeks either.

 

Wow. I seem to have gained back all my weight I lost and then some. I'm only gaining in the belly (at least that's what I tell myself!) but I'm trying to eat fruit and all for snacks, because as much as I LOVE my maternity jeans, I think eventually it'll be time to fit back into normal clothing!

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^I'm not pregnant and I want some maternity jeans....

 

seriously, they are comfortable. I was at my cousin's and wanted to borrow some pants, I grabbed her old maternity jeans(didn't notice) and put those on. lol. boy were they nice.

 

a lot of the maternity clothes are pretty cute.

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Yikes I would be scared sh!tless too.

 

I think everyone will respond accordingly, based on their own personal experience. While gaining perspective can be useful and at times comforting, you really need to look inside of yourself and decide what is best for YOU and not base so much on other people's experiences of(easy/hard labor, falling in love 'immediately' with the baby, getting/not getting an abortion, etc).

 

I would most certainly confirm the validity of that test with an actual blood test, asap.

 

The only way I believe to deal with this situation is to be logical and realistic. Sure you can fulfill your dreams that you had for yourself over the next 5-7 yrs with a child. But realistically, you already know it WILL be tougher and more difficult. You WILL have a drastic life change which WILL require you to think unselfishly. No matter what your bf promises or says, you WILL be ultimately responsible as you are the mother and will have to carry the baby and give birth. These are all facts and no way around any of it. Sure you can put positive spins on them, but they are the facts nonetheless.

 

Another fact, if you are pregnant, whatever decision you make, you will quickly find out who you can rely on for support vs whom you cannot.

 

Good luck to you...

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I agree. Going to grad school is tough with baby. Of course it's possible, but it's tough.

If you have the baby and keep it, expect big life changes....maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. I don't know. All I can say is that having a kid unplanned isn't always for the best. Of course, you will never hear from mothers who think that way. Society has an expectation that if you have kids, you must love them entirely and not regret it. Sadly, this is not always true and the women who feel this way live in silence.

 

There are some small internet sites where women vent anonymously about their lives post pregnancy. Most weren't ready for it. It's heartbreaking. Just seeing the kid after it comes out is not enough to make up for the things that you may lose.

 

I would look into all your options...keeping it, adoption, abortion, etc.

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You can go to grad school while raising the baby. Yes, it will take sacrifices. It may take longer than you'd expected. But it's entirely possible. I did my master's thesis when my daughter was newborn, my husband was doing his phd for the first couple years of her life, my sister-in-law is currently doing her phd while raising her 2 year old son.

 

And the sleep deprivation shouldn't last long. Maybe 3 or 6 months, if at all. That's a fairly short period of time in the big picture. I never had my sleep disrupted, as my daughter slept with me and slept right through the night.

 

Of course, only you can decide what is right for you. If you're already saying you don't want this to happen, then perhaps your mind is already made up. But remember that the pregnancy hormones are also messing with your emotions. I remember how I used to wake up terrified every morning during my first trimester, which combined with morning sickness, felt like hell. I used to have so many worries but it turns out that the solutions weren't so tough afterall.

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that is exactly how I feel to be honest. Things are going to be tough and I would prefer an easier way. I know that sounds bad, but I really would like to focus on grad school not on raising a child. But I know plenty of people that do it. I guess as long as I had a day care provider it wouldn't be so bad(*sigh*).

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. More of me is leaning toward keeping it, the rest of me doesn't even believe I'm pregnant. And I am scared sh*tless.

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The true confession mom site?

 

I wish I knew someone in my situation that could talk to me more about it. I do have a friend in a similar position, but she isn't a planner like I am, so though she was terrified her reasons were different from mine. She is done with school(had no plans of going to graduate), doesn't really care about traveling that much, and didn't really have any huge goals, so though she was irritated she was pregnant, it wasn't because of the fact that she had all these goals.

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I understand exactly where you are coming from. I had to make a lot of changes when I found I was pregnant, changes that I didn't want to make. It isn't the way that I would have liked it to be, and certainly not what I had in mind or in my plan. Nothing about it is easy, Lost, I mean I won't sugar coat that. But, going to grad school IS possible, though, it might take longer. You will make accommodations in your life, and you won't like some of them. But, it does and will work out, it's just different then what you originally had planned.

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I understand exactly where you are coming from. I had to make a lot of changes when I found I was pregnant, changes that I didn't want to make. It isn't the way that I would have liked it to be, and certainly not what I had in mind or in my plan. Nothing about it is easy, Lost, I mean I won't sugar coat that. But, going to grad school IS possible, though, it might take longer. You will make accommodations in your life, and you won't like some of them. But, it does and will work out, it's just different then what you originally had planned.

 

I know all of this is true. I'm still not sure what option I'll take.

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