I'm pregnant

[Hope75]

COngratulations on your pregnancy and decision to keep the baby. I think you will find that it is the most rewarding experience of your life, even though it does mean making big chances and sacrificing.

 

Honestly in regards to labor you are going to get as many different stories as the amount of women you ask; and even then if some have given birth more than once each experience will be different. I've noticed women love to give scary stories about labor and how long it was and how much it hurt to women who are pregnant, not sure why that is but I can't tell you have many women felt the urge to share a horror story when they saw I was pregnant. But, if you do a little research you will find that is NOT always the case, that everyone's labor is different, that there are options for pain control that can keep you comfortable during labor, and most importantly it is only TEMPORARY, and will be over before you know it.

 

 

My best advice to you to help your fear of labor and delivery is to learn about it. Get some books, take a class, write down some questions for your OB and bring them in and talk them out. Join a forum for pregnant women and share support and advice. Take other's advice and stories with a grain of salt, remember this will be YOUR experience and no one elses', and it won't be identical to any of the ones you hear.

 

In addition to being a medical professional I am currently pregnant with my second baby and have an 18 month old and would be glad to answer any questions you have or give support if you'd like to PM me.

[Batya33]

I had no morning sickness. Mild nausea at times (I used accupressure wrist bands and chewed on ginger chews -both may have had placebo effects who knows). I did, have, um, terrible constipation (never had that issue before and it persisted for about 5 months after the birth). It was very painful. Otherwise, complication-free.

[Hope75]

How long does it take to lose post-baby weight? It depends on the woman. Some women walk out of the hospital in their pre pregnancy jeans and others never lose the weight.

Is it true that first time mothers have long labors and most always have to be induced? No. While it is more common for first time mothers to have longer labors, it is not always the case and some go very fast. And not all first time mothers need to be induced.

Anyone familiar with hypnobabies? Yes, but I don't know much about it and would like to get a book on it. I think you could probably find info on the net about it too.

If I have a baby in a hot tub(at a hospital) can I still get the EPI? No. If you get an epidural you will need to stay in bed. But you can labor in a hot tub at first and see if that is comfortable for you before deciding to get an epi if you like. For some women, that is enough to relax them and keep the pain at bay.

[lostnscared]

LOL. Thank you for this post. I'm actually embarrassed that this happened AGAIN. I'm embarrassed by how fixated I was on having a child and then ended up pregnant. It seems so stupid and childish now and almost like this is what I get for wanting it so badly.

 

The thing is after the MAP incident we did start using protection, I was sure I would somehow have it planned out that I wouldn't have a child for another 3 or 4 years(like I wanted). The universe works in funny ways. My mom also went to graduate school with 4 kids. Thankfully I'll only be having one, and will get on the IUD as soon as I'm done--but I know it will be hard and that it sort of what irritated me about this. I'm going to have to buckle down.

 

Thank you for your post. And I'm convinced that I do have type A "times" in my life, having a child was one of them, so yes I'm terrified. But with each day I'm sort of accepting it more and more.

[lostnscared]

I had no morning sickness. Mild nausea at times (I used accupressure wrist bands and chewed on ginger chews -both may have had placebo effects who knows). I did, have, um, terrible constipation (never had that issue before and it persisted for about 5 months after the birth). It was very painful. Otherwise, complication-free.

 

It looks like I may not either. I am using the bathroom(number 2) a TON so that is really grossing me out. Last pregnancy I was also constipated, and had terrible morning sickness, heartburn, etc. So this pregnancy seems to be much better. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will continue so.

[lostnscared]

Thank you, I'll be sure to PM if I have any questions. Everyone has been so HELPFUL though and SUPPORTIVE. I love ENA for that.

 

I have type A tendencies when it comes to babies, and planning, and many of my questions are probably about "things" I have no control over--such as labor, how quickly I'll lose the weight, pregnancy symptoms, when the baby will come, if it's a boy or girl, etc.

 

So far, I'm just really trying to stop thinking too far ahead.

[lostnscared]

Thanks for answering my questions!!!

 

Haha that scares me--I hope I'm not one of the people that can't lose the weight. I'm already overweight(I'm a size 10) --I really hope that my body and metabolism are good to me after.

 

Was your first labor long? Seems like what your saying is right. I know people who had their children REALLY fast, and those that were in labor for almost 30 hours. The latter is frightening but I guess that is another thing I have no control over.

[OptomisticGirl]

I'm a control freak so I udnerstand that desire to want control EVERYTHING. One thing I learned through the 3 pregnancies I was close to was you can't control ANYTHING. And my best advice as someone who has only watched during pregnacy, be prepared as early as you can for that baby to come. You could very well go to full term (As you should) but my best friend and I thought she had a whole other month to do breathing classes and get the nursery ready. She ended up being diagnosed with preclampsia (after a perfect, no hassle 1st and 2nd trimester) and it sent her into early labor a month early. So the day my niece were born, everyone was scrambling to get her room ready for her to come home in (literally they were moving the crib in) because we thought we had SO much more time than we did!

 

I know the chances of early labor are low but hey, it's advice I give to anyone who tells me they are pregnant. Always be prepared for things to come early, so even if they don't... well.. you are prepared.

[Batya33]

I had no interest in having the nursery set up pre-birth - it was hard enough to know that the "take me home" outfit was in the closet and the crib, etc were in boxes to be assembled after the birth (which is how we planned it).

 

I think I was able to control certain things during my pregnancy -I was able to control how well I took care of myself physically and emotionally, able to do research and read up on caring for a newborn ,took classes, spoke to post-birth doulas (like a baby nurse) in advance, made sure my apartment was clean enough, etc. I also had a list of people who could help me if my husband was away or unavailable. Labor is only one part of pregnancy. I also had to learn how to give up control and accept that because there is so much unknown -and it sounds strange but I could control that too -control my reactions to the sense of being out of control and anxious at times- I had to learn better coping mechanisms and habits (like not looking at the internet, not allowing myself to "go there" with every twinge,everything I knew "could" go wrong. Unlike the OP I was considered high risk because of my age so that added to the anxiety and the need to work on coping mechanisms (which also helps -a lot -once you have the baby).

[lavenderdove]

I know some mothers who weighed LESS after the baby... they had bad junk food habits before the baby and were overweight, and switched to eating healthily to try to give the baby proper nutrition and cut out all junk food and snacking and measured portions and added more fruits and vegetables, and were stunned to realize after the baby was born that they weighed less than when they started!

 

So you will put on some water retention weight due to hormones, but if you stick to a healthy, portion controlled diet while pregnant, you probably won't gain too much weight and could potentially lose some.

[Seraphim]

I am a planner and controller too. However with being pregnant and having kids one has to learn some flexibility. I know you can do it.

[Batya33]

I know some mothers who weighed LESS after the baby... they had bad junk food habits before the baby and were overweight, and switched to eating healthily to try to give the baby proper nutrition and cut out all junk food and snacking and measured portions and added more fruits and vegetables, and were stunned to realize after the baby was born that they weighed less than when they started!

 

So you will put on some water retention weight due to hormones, but if you stick to a healthy, portion controlled diet while pregnant, you probably won't gain too much weight and could potentially lose some.

 

I disagree with trying to do portion control while pregnant especially with cravings and aversions -if the OP focuses on healthful foods and on a particular day is starving and wants to eat more,she should go for it- it's her body telling her something. She can do the portion control after as part of a restricted diet.

[OptomisticGirl]

I disagree with trying to do portion control while pregnant especially with cravings and aversions -if the OP focuses on healthful foods and on a particular day is starving and wants to eat more,she should go for it- it's her body telling her something. She can do the portion control after as part of a restricted diet.

 

I agree. I mean, a pregnant woman shouldn't eat 12 hours out of 24 hours but if she's hungry eat! Or eat more than you normally would but eat HEALTHIER.

[OptomisticGirl]

I can see why some wouldn't. And truthfully, my niece never slept in her "room" until she was about 6 months or so I believe, she slept in a bassinet in the living room so my best friend could have easier access and hear her better. I know me being the control freak I am, getting the nursery ready before hand will be one of those ways I take control like you were saying Batya. You gotta find the things you can control and concentrate on those. And if I give myself a project like getting the nursery ready (especially since I plan on doing a lot of the stuff myself) I know I will concentrate on that instead of worrying about everything else that I can't control.

[lostnscared]

Ugh. I don't know what I ate last night, but I got NO sleep. I have a sore throat, stuffy nose, and diarehea(sp), my stomach keeps bubbling up, and it's so painful. i'm really irritated right now. Plus I burned something earlier on accident and it still smells like smoke in here. No more how much water I drink, my throat feels dry. I can't wait until I feel better again.

[OptomisticGirl]

That is something I am not looking forward to when pregnant, the fact I can't take anything when I get sick. And I get migrains. God I'm going to drive CS mad....

[Batya33]

I hope you feel better LS! Hang in there, ok? Ask your doctor if you can use those saline nose drops and maybe get a humidifier?

 

OG- I had no interest in seeing a nursery assembled before I delivered a healthy baby but I can totally understand why someone would want that all ready!

[OptomisticGirl]

I hope you feel better LS! Hang in there, ok? Ask your doctor if you can use those saline nose drops and maybe get a humidifier?

 

OG- I had no interest in seeing a nursery assembled before I delivered a healthy baby but I can totally understand why someone would want that all ready!

 

Was it because you were afraid you wouldn't deliver healhty? I mean, like in the instance you lost the baby? I can understand not wanting to put a whole room together before birth for that reason as well. You get everything ready and then there is no baby to bring home...

[Batya33]

Was it because you were afraid you wouldn't deliver healhty? I mean, like in the instance you lost the baby? I can understand not wanting to put a whole room together before birth for that reason as well. You get everything ready and then there is no baby to bring home...

 

Yes that is why. I prepared as little as possible, did not have or want a shower,etc. By the time I brought home the baby the crib was put together (my husband and father in law did it), and we had everything else we needed. I wasn't interested in (and still am not) in having a traditional nursery -we have a crib (no bumpers or crib decorations), we had a mobile until he was too old for one and some stuffed animals we received as gifts -we used old furniture to keep his clothing in and we have a glider (essential in my opinion)which is like a rocking chair except the ottoman also "glides".

[OptomisticGirl]

Yes that is why. I prepared as little as possible, did not have or want a shower,etc. By the time I brought home the baby the crib was put together (my husband and father in law did it), and we had everything else we needed. I wasn't interested in (and still am not) in having a traditional nursery -we have a crib (no bumpers or crib decorations), we had a mobile until he was too old for one and some stuffed animals we received as gifts -we used old furniture to keep his clothing in and we have a glider (essential in my opinion)which is like a rocking chair except the ottoman also "glides".

 

I don't like a lot of the 'traditional' nursery stuff either. I see no use for a changing table. Buy a dresser or small table that is high enough for you, put a blanket on it, and viola. A friend spent $200 on a changing table. $200!!! That or just change the baby on the couch or something! I'd like to have decorations in the nursery and theme (only because I love doing arts and crafts) but a lot of the stuff is just outrageous.

[Batya33]

I don't like a lot of the 'traditional' nursery stuff either. I see no use for a changing table. Buy a dresser or small table that is high enough for you, put a blanket on it, and viola. A friend spent $200 on a changing table. $200!!! That or just change the baby on the couch or something! I'd like to have decorations in the nursery and theme (only because I love doing arts and crafts) but a lot of the stuff is just outrageous.

 

I never used a changing table and only changed him on a bed when he was an infant and we stood over him and/or had one hand on him -otherwise I put a changing pad on the floor. A dresser or a table can be dangerous depending on the height since there are no restraints. I had no interest in a theme- I think I'm missing that gene because I also had no interest in any kind of "theme" the one time I planned a large wedding reception (which never happened). Our theme in our living room is primary colors because it is basically his playroom lol.

[OptomisticGirl]

I never used a changing table and only changed him on a bed when he was an infant and we stood over him and/or had one hand on him -otherwise I put a changing pad on the floor. A dresser or a table can be dangerous depending on the height since there are no restraints. I had no interest in a theme- I think I'm missing that gene because I also had no interest in any kind of "theme" the one time I planned a large wedding reception (which never happened). Our theme in our living room is primary colors because it is basically his playroom lol.

 

Exactly. No need to waste that money on that. And if you want to get the baby a dresser you can find one cheap. Those whole nursery sets are outrageous! I admit, I do want a theme, I even have the first boy and girl picked out (aye, I have no life!). But for me it's about doing it on the down low and most of what I can do for myself. For instance, I'd never spend $50 on an Airplane lamp (our first son's nursery theme) when I can buy a $10 white lamp and paint the freggin' planes on myself, lol. I just know I'm going to want to control EVERYTHING about a pregnancy but I also know you can't. So for me concentrating on a project like that will help me steer clear of the things I can't contorl.

[Batya33]

I was never brave enough to think that far ahead. I doubted I could conceive and once I did I lived ultrasound to ultrasound. I did have a baby registry which asked people to wait until after the baby was born to purchase items. I knew people who had themes on their registries.

[OptomisticGirl]

I was never brave enough to think that far ahead. I doubted I could conceive and once I did I lived ultrasound to ultrasound. I did have a baby registry which asked people to wait until after the baby was born to purchase items. I knew people who had themes on their registries.

 

Even with pre planning I'm going to be scared the whole time. Because it isn't labor or stretch marks (I got them already!) or losing the weight afterward that I"m scared of, I'm scared of losing the baby at any given point, even during labor. I know someone who refused to have a baby shower until after the baby was born because the women in her family had a high miscarriage rate. She ended up having a gorgeous little girl too.

[tinkerbellkj]

We went completely overboard on our nursery, I'll post some pictures when it is done. But, it was something that we really wanted to do. At first, I was terrified to buy/plan anything, as I am completely aware that bad things can happen at any time during a pregnancy, however, my mother put it to me best, "there is no such thing as tempting fate." And I've tried to go by that and we have set up our nursery (12 or so weeks left to go!) though very cautiously. And while every once in a while I do go in there and get really sad thinking about all the things that COULD go wrong that COULD prevent my baby from ever seeing his room, I didn't want to give up doing something I really wanted to do because of that fear. But, I DO 150% understand that fear, because I think every pregnant mother has it.