orchidrose Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Are you taking the prenatal vitamins, though? Please at least take folic acid, if you're not already. This is important, just in case you do decide to keep the baby. Agreed. I know you're in a strong period of denial, LS, but if you are pregnant, your first duty is to take care of your baby by doing something this simple. If you do decide to keep the baby or place it for adoption, you want to make sure that you're being healthy from the start. Link to comment
kelless Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I am sorry to hear about this lostnscared. I once read a comment somewhere about a girl who was born into a single mother family. And she is just so grateful that her mother nevertheless gave birth to her despite the difficult circumstances. Just think about if your mother decided to abort you, you wouldn't exist. So give the baby a chance. Or at least seriously think about it. Talk it over with your bf. Having a kid does not mean the end of your life ... it could just be the beginning for all you know. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I think LS already knows what she's going to do. Trying to guilt her into keeping the baby isn't going to do anyone good here. Adoption is not an option in this particular situation. If she concludes that she and her boyfriend are likely not going to raise the child together, then she will terminate the pregnancy. If she can satisfy herself that she and her boyfriend can work things out and raise the child together, she will keep it. Now she just has to focus on her relationship with her boyfriend, doing some hardcore communication, and trying not to let the hormones prevent her from thinking and communicating clearly. Oh, and take multivitamins. Seriously dude. Do it. Link to comment
shayshay07 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hi lostnscared. I haven't read this whole thread and my post will be short since I'm at work, but I just wanted to let you know if u do decide to keep it, everything will work out. Alot of times we worry about how things will be in our minds, but in reality things do work out. And, I am a woman that had a PAINLESS labor, and I heard all kinds of gruesome horror stories when I was pregnant so I was scared and freaked out about labor. I had to be induced, and was told by others that being induced would be even more painful because the contractions come harder and faster. After the doctors induced me, I fell asleep and woke up when my water broke. That was when the real pains started but they gave me something in my iv to help the pain while I waited for the anesthesiologist to administer the epidural. After that, it was so easy. I fell back asleep, they woke me up to check me, and I had already dilated enough to get ready to push. I felt NOTHING. they told me when to push, and my daughter came out no more than 15 mins later. The recovery part was the most painful for me, after the drugs wore off, but it was more of a 'sore' pain and I was distracted by my beautiful daughter so it was easily ignored. My point is I am proof that labor and delivery can be pretty much painless. I know everyone is different and doesn't have such a smooth delivery but it can happen and I was induced so don't worry so much about it. You will be fine (if that's the route you choose). Link to comment
shayshay07 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Ok maybe that wasn't so short. Lol Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 You can het folic acid at Walmart for like $5. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I do agree with others. Get the blood test done and then examine your feelings then. However, just as a precaution and all, I'd start the prenatal vitamins. The baby develops the most during the 1st trimester. The other 2 are more about putting on weight. this is a critical time for those vitamins. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I'd be careful about self-dosing with folic acid- the prenatals can have icky side effects (digestive) but they have the right balance of everything. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Thank you everyone for your advice. But on another forum I was completely ostricized for being pregnant as young as I am. I was told that I made a mistake by getting pregnant by my bf. That he doesn't love me. That I'm too immature. That they feel sorry for the unborn baby. And that thank god their children are on birth control and would never end up in a situation like mine. I was told that my boyfriend will not be a good father. And that I will not have any control unless I take control now and terminate this pregnancy. Therefore I'm leaning toward termination again. I feel bad, but after hearing what people really think about my situation, I just feel like maybe it is for the best. If I'm not pregnant I'll be very happy and I will be getting the non-homornal IUD. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Don't let negative people make this decision for you. If you do and you do something, you could r3gret it even more than the first time. YOU need to decide, not invisible people on a computer. I wouldnt recommend self taking topic acid through the while pregnacy but the baby would get something until you went on prenatel vitamins of you keep it. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Exactly. Yesterday I made the same point about the thread direction, given her feelings. She must be going through a lot right now. LS-I know you're under a lot of stress but it will work out. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Thank you everyone for your advice. But on another forum I was completely ostricized for being pregnant as young as I am. I was told that I made a mistake by getting pregnant by my bf. That he doesn't love me. That I'm too immature. That they feel sorry for the unborn baby. And that thank god their children are on birth control and would never end up in a situation like mine. I was told that my boyfriend will not be a good father. And that I will not have any control unless I take control now and terminate this pregnancy. Therefore I'm leaning toward termination again. I feel bad, but after hearing what people really think about my situation, I just feel like maybe it is for the best. If I'm not pregnant I'll be very happy and I will be getting the non-homornal IUD. People on the internet have a lot to say but they do so with very limited information. I know what you're getting at though because in our community the BM thing is very rampant and so none of us wants to wind up in that category. However, you are not everyone else and life happens. I care a lot about looking "hood" as well so I totally understand you not wanting to be associated with that. At the same time though they don't pay your bills. I take opinions online with a grain of salt. When people don't understand they put you in a box and then you have co-signers randomly chime in and add to the issue. It's like high school. Ignore them and invest in a licensed therapist. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 The more people hear about my situation the more I get negative feedback. This is not the way I wanted my first pregnancy to be like. I'm not worried about my boyfriend stepping up to the plate--he even said he wanted to marry me yesterday. I'm worried about all of the negative feedback I've gotten and am starting to second guess the positive in this situation. I'm just going to pray that I'm not pregnant, and hopefully the blood test will tell me that I'm not. I just feel so bad about ending up in this situation. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 People told me I should just give the child up for adoption and that they felt sorry for my unborn child too. I believe it was even on this forum, 4.5 years ago. It hurt deeply, even if it was just the ramblings of strangers. My kid is a confident, loved, well cared for kid. Those people should go to h$ll. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 lostnscared only you know what you can live with in your heart. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 LS, Know also that people will always say crap. You will get crap if you keep the kid, and you'll get crap if you terminate it. The question is, what is best for you? I don't think poorly of you for reconsidering termination. It is still an option, as is adoption, and keeping it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 The more people hear about my situation the more I get negative feedback. This is not the way I wanted my first pregnancy to be like. I'm not worried about my boyfriend stepping up to the plate--he even said he wanted to marry me yesterday. I'm worried about all of the negative feedback I've gotten and am starting to second guess the positive in this situation. I'm just going to pray that I'm not pregnant, and hopefully the blood test will tell me that I'm not. I just feel so bad about ending up in this situation. The thing is EVERYONE in the world has an opinion on EVERYTHING, you do not have to listen though. They do not have to live your life. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 The more people hear about my situation the more I get negative feedback. This is not the way I wanted my first pregnancy to be like. I'm not worried about my boyfriend stepping up to the plate--he even said he wanted to marry me yesterday. I'm worried about all of the negative feedback I've gotten and am starting to second guess the positive in this situation. I'm just going to pray that I'm not pregnant, and hopefully the blood test will tell me that I'm not. I just feel so bad about ending up in this situation. Yeah, I understand. I won't lie and say that I haven't had negative feelings about situations like this. My feelings come from the fact that my mom had me at 24 and she was in the same situation and ended up a single mother. Single mothering just means unmarried but I wouldn't wish separated parents on any child. However, as I stated before life happens and it can be done. My mom did what most women can't do with the help of a husband by herself. So, I know you can pull through it's just going to be hard. Fortunately you have a degree and a supportive boyfriend. People will have opinions and we're at the age where they matter but like our moms we'll learn to consider them less. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Right now my emotions are all over the place. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with an abortion again or not. I just know that I'm having a hard time dealing with all the negative feedback I'm getting. I feel like I failed somehow. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 The more people hear about my situation the more I get negative feedback. This is not the way I wanted my first pregnancy to be like. I'm not worried about my boyfriend stepping up to the plate--he even said he wanted to marry me yesterday. I'm worried about all of the negative feedback I've gotten and am starting to second guess the positive in this situation. I'm just going to pray that I'm not pregnant, and hopefully the blood test will tell me that I'm not. I just feel so bad about ending up in this situation. You know, it might be a good time to think about some crisis counseling. Could you and your BF arrange to go talk to a professional? An objective 3rd party (by objective- I would advise you seek a typical mental health counselor and not anyone associated with either side of the "abortion debate") might really help you to get a grip on this whole thing. In the meantime, get out a piece of paper and start making a list of benefits and costs associated with all 3 options. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Yeah, I understand. I won't lie and say that I haven't had negative feelings about situations like this. My feelings come from the fact that my mom had me at 24 and she was in the same situation and ended up a single mother. Single mothering just means unmarried but I wouldn't wish separated parents on any child. However, as I stated before life happens and it can be done. My mom did what most women can't do with the help of a husband by herself. So, I know you can pull through it's just going to be hard. Fortunately you have a degree and a supportive boyfriend. People will have opinions and we're at the age where they matter but like our moms we'll learn to consider them less. haha I know how you feel about this. Thank you for being so nice to me. Thank you everybody. I guess I will have to make a choice--abortion or not--over the next week or so. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Just be sure the decision is something YOU can live with and you feel comfortable with. Link to comment
shayshay07 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Maybe take sometime to yourself and concentrate on YOUR thoughts about what you want to do, and don't consider anyone else's. Think about pros, cons, and what your plan will be for the future with each option. Don't let other people influence you. Only you know what's best for you. Sorry i didn't read through all these pages, but have you told your family or friends what is happening? Mh suggestion is to tell no one until you have already come to a solid decision, because they will try to persuade you one way or the other. Loved ones usually want what is best for you, but what is best for you is only their opinion, and if you follow what they say, especially about something as important as this, they could be wrong and that would be devastating to you. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Thank you everyone for the ongoing advice. I talked with my mom today at lunch and she made me feel a lot better about a lot of things. Still no idea what decision I'll make, but I have a week or so to make a decision if I am, so depending on how the blood tests goes I will see. Deep down I know I am. I'm starting to have the same symptoms I had last time I was pregnant, and to top off I can't stand my boyfriend at all right now. Like the thought of him is irritating me. I'm trying hard not to feel that way. It's so weird. Just a week and a half ago, I couldn't bear to not spend a day with him, now I can't stand. I can't stand my friends either. Only person I can stand is my mom and her dog. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 You know, it might be a good time to think about some crisis counseling. Could you and your BF arrange to go talk to a professional? An objective 3rd party (by objective- I would advise you seek a typical mental health counselor and not anyone associated with either side of the "abortion debate") might really help you to get a grip on this whole thing. In the meantime, get out a piece of paper and start making a list of benefits and costs associated with all 3 options. Yes I could arrange something with a counselor, but I'm not sure how quickly I would be able to see the counselor and if it would be in time, since I'll be going out of town to see my mom next weekend. Link to comment
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