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Mines a black coffee

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  1. Mines a black coffee
    I know the feeling, when you have hope you may get back together you do not heal as such, and if you eventually find out she does not want you back you feel just as bad as you did when you initially split. Having said this, LET'S HAVE A POSITIVE. To me, you are in the driving seat. Play it 'cool' as they say, I honestly wish you all the best, Let us know.
  2. Mines a black coffee
    Okay, i'm not asking for sympathy here because it is me who has finished my latest relationship. My problem, however, is that despite caring for this person so much I finished with here becasue I simply didn't trust her. I was hurt terribly in the past, and since then have learnt the only way to keep myself safe from the same torture is to only have faith and trust in myself. I already finished with this woman already once in the past over this. However, I raised my hands, admitted a made a big mistake, and she took me back. I did the same thing again a few weeks back, again saying I could not be with her becasue I was so worried she may cheat on me. I know it sounds pathetic, but again I will hold up my hands and admit it. Since then I have received a birthday card and present from her, which I appreciated so much, and started conversation again. However, for no apparent reason she accused me of being ignorant and not caring for her. She has since not contacted me in two weeks, despite my texts asking what it is I did wrong. I don't want her back, I have seen the real her and it seems rather pathetic how childish she has behaved, however I just want advice as to how I can just have faith in others, so I never put myself in the same situation again. I really want someone, but I throw away any chance I get.
  3. Mines a black coffee
    Pip, I don't really have much advice for you, but becasue you were so helpful with me i'd like to at least try to return the favour by offering support. Like kayc73 said, it really does get better and easier. Not much help for you at the moment i understand, however, although its an overused cliche, time is the greatest healer. Before you know it someone will come into your life who is better than your ex, you won't even compare them anyway because this new guy will keep your mind occupied with the present. Like i said, that's my 2 cents worth, sorry for no real help, but thinking of you.
  4. Mines a black coffee
    Don't worry, the work situation is a pain if everyone is older than you, but you just need to find that one person and he/she'll introduce you to their friends, and then theirs will do the same (can you see a pattern), and before you know it you'll wake up one morning with a gorgeous women next to you. Chin up chief, you'll get there.
  5. Mines a black coffee
    I'd say things will get better. You're only 23, you have a decent job, a decent family and you are making the effort in the gym. Sod your old friends, if they are being idiots and doing nothing with thier lives more fool them, and the one who smokes dope all day is probably in a different world anyway! All I can say is don't worry, keep working out and believe me things just fall into place. My guess is you are not completely over your ex, or at least becasue you feel lonely at the moment what she does is bothering you. Don't worry, I finished with mine over a year ago and still miss her like crazy (although like you i hate the woman!), just relax and read some posts on this website, then you'll relaise life aint so bad and could be alot worse. Later
  6. Mines a black coffee
    Changed my mind. Thanks for the advice, but I'm just going to leave it. Can't be doing with it, far more important things in life than to struggle with this.
  7. Mines a black coffee
    Emotional, fair enough men are just as bad, but that is not the point. I can't answer your question, the world is full of idiots, both male and female.
  8. Mines a black coffee
    So you think I should get in touch with her, tell her to sort out her own feelings and get back to me if she still wants something? Would you advise i remain aloof? I really value your female opinion, thanks
  9. Mines a black coffee
    Apologese in advance for the long 'essay', but I appreciate you reading it. A few months ago a girl I really liked asked me out. Becasue she is good friends with one of my housemates, I had to say no. She accepted this, and found someone else. Now, a few months down the line I got drunk and text her, basically telling her how I felt about her. This is after she sent me random texts throughout the few months asking how I was etc. She told me off, said had her b/f seen the texts it would be over between them, and said we were just friends. I accpeted this, but she still texts me asking how I am etc. This is not normal 'friend' behaviour, you don't text your friends asking how their weekend was. The other night she obviously got drunk and text me telling me she had to be honest, and that although she has a b/f she still has strong feelings for me and asked me out for a drink. What do I do? I told her I will not be a consulation prize if her current relatrionship is failing, but I don't think it is. She told me later the truth comes out when your drunk, and to a degree I agree with this. Basically, I don't know what to do. It seems she likes me, and I want nothing more than to be with her, but i really have no idea what to do. I don't want her to cheat on her b/f with me, that is a horrible thing to do, but at the same time she is thinking of me and it is driving me mad cus there is nothing I can do about it. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
  10. Mines a black coffee
    Basically, where do I start. I finished with my girlfriend just over a year ago now, she met someone else straight away and has been with him since, I have had sexual relations with a few women but no serious relationship for me. The thing is, I bumped into her the other day, and I was just a wreck. I thought I was over her, but I froze and was shaking with fear. Her life is going so well, I should feel happy for her but I don't. I know it is selfish, but my life seems so bad It annoys me that she is enjoying it. She speaks to me so freely as if we never had anything gfoing in the past, as though we were just old friends. On top of this, I seem to fail completely when it comes to finding myself another person. I was asked out a few weeks back by someone, I reallyl iked her, but said no! I don't even know why, but since then she has now met someone and they are datinfg and getting on fine, I missed my chance and I'm so angry with myself, why did I turn her down in the first place. I have since sms her but she basically told me off and said she was with someone now, along with the usual bs stuff of we are 'friends' blah blah blah. What am I doing? Clearly, I am not over my ex, I hate her still (another clear sign I am not over her), but at the same time she hurt me so badly why do I feel like I need her? I'm such an idiot, and I don't even know what i'm asking for in response from youl ot, but someone somewhere must understand my predicament, so please lend me a hand. Thankyou
  11. Mines a black coffee
    No probem, time is a great healer, you'll get there in the end. Don't take her back, or perhaps 'play' her a little, just to prove to her you don't need her (even if you feel you do, make her think you don't). Take care bro, remember at least you have someone who wants you, think of it that way.
  12. Mines a black coffee
    God damn it, I wish that happened to me. I always have to make the first move, not worked yet, still a loser loner! Maybe I should move to America, you girlsl love English blokes don't you?
  13. Mines a black coffee
    Arno, first of all well done for letting everyone know how you feel, you have clearly been honest with everyone and for that you deserve an honest answer. Basically, you can't take her back. Unfortunately, like it always seems in this world, the good guy finishes last. This Marie has clearly taken advantage of your good nature, and you certainly deserve better than her. You have to let her go. I have unfortunately been in a similar situatioin whereby feleings are not equal, I loved her so much (and a year down the line after breaking up I still do), but she cheated on me so many times and I always took her back. As I said, a year has passed, she has been with this other man for a year now, and I find it hard to becasue it just brings back all those feelings (I picture them sleeping together, having sex, hugging, everything and its horrible). What I am trying to say is that it gets easier. Forget her, you are better than her, in this situation for once look after yourself and don't care what anyone else says. It is hard, I still struggle, but time is a great healer (cliche I know, but it is true), and you will come out of this stronger and a better person. Go out and have fun, and if she has the nerve to ask you back just tell her you are better than her and what you had you can never get back, and leave it like that. Good luck
  14. Mines a black coffee
    Peteo, I was in a similar situation, and can relate. Basically, I was with my girlfriend for just over a year, and the final few months, when I look back on them, were a joke. She would go out with her friends and not me, flirt with others, yet always when I told her i'd had enough (or after she dumped me), she would come crawling back. Yes, I was dumped about six times in the space of the year. Enough about me though, this is not about me, it's about you. The advice I have to offer is this. Let go. I know you are mostl likely thinking "it's easy for him to say", and to be honest I don't blame you, I was the same, but you must let go. She is taking you for a ride, she does not know that she is hurting you becasue you have been together for so long she believes you will be there no matter what. You have to tell her you are your own person, that you will not be run by her. Now, this will either end in two ways 1/ She will accept your decision and leave you (which, though harse, is perhaps what you need), or 2/ She will realise what an idiot she has been and come back and appreciate you for what you are. I'm sorry if my advice seems a little odd, however It is the best I can do. I am trying to help becasue you are in a similar situation and I could not help myself, so I can try to at least redeem something for humanities sake! I was an idiot, I threw insults (think about the lyrics to Eamon's 'I don't want you back' and we're getting there) and didn't get out when I should have. I was a mug and took her back when I shouldn't have, please don't do the same. All the best, it does get easier.
  15. Mines a black coffee
    Thanks woobiegirl. I have sent my ex an email this afternoon basically apologising and putting the past behind me. I've had enough of being pissed off, and a year of being bitter has really got to me. I don't want to see her, but i wished her well and I actually feel really good for doing it, despite the fact I know she did truly nasty things to me. Its a case of getting on with life, opening a new chapter and accepting myself for what I am.
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