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smackie9

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Everything posted by smackie9

  1. smackie9
    Mind your own business if you don't want to cause trouble. Let nature take it's course.
  2. smackie9
    Maybe his interest in her is financial. Keeping himself in the will. Taking care of the golden goose.
  3. smackie9
    You can't force or make someone desire more sex. You are incompatible. You want more spontaneous sex? The go find someone who does. This girl ain't it.
  4. smackie9
    You two really need to learn to communicate better. Start with going to pre-marital counselling together with your pastor. It will be a safe place to bring up issues and your fiance won't have the opportunity to blow you off with some excuse.
  5. smackie9
    IMO he's not emotionally where he should be with you. This is an imbalance, and things like this will continue to happen. It's best to call it quits. He's not that into you the way you are into him. At 3 months, and there are doubts...I would just walk away. Not worth it. He even warned you in the beginning of his instability/insecurities...that was your warning.
  6. smackie9
    Breaking up would be the best bet here. You started out tolerating someone who emotionally tormented you, and dismissed your feelings. That's pretty damaging. Dating him denied you a happy experience as your first experience. I am so sorry this happened to you. Being inexperienced you didn't know any better but now you do, and how he treated you was inexcusable. And even tho he's gotten better, who knows if or when that part of his personality will come back when there are tough times in the relationship. Not everyone is emotionally made to forgive....and there isn't anything wrong with that....it's who you are and how you feel. IMO to get empowerment is to just say no I'm done, I don't want to do this. I think his apology is too little too late. Now that you found your self esteem, break away and try life anew. Go find your identity, meet/choose someone who is kind/loving and makes you feel safe....and happy!
  7. smackie9
    I agree don't be like those other girls that are pawing all over him. Being less available is more desirable. TBH any girl that talks to him, he knows he is liked. that's a given, so it won't make much difference what you do or don't do.
  8. smackie9
    Whether he's telling the truth or not, you bail/get out of relationships like this. You just don't get involved with someone that's still involved with their ex. that's a no go.
  9. smackie9
    He doesn't have feelings for you. I see that this Narc person told Ash that you had a crush on him, for the purpose of starting up some $%^&. The comments made points to this. No reaction is the best action to be taken in situations when dealing with a person like that. You win they lose because they didn't get a reaction from you. people like her have low self esteem. They do this to have control/power, boosting their fragile ego.
  10. smackie9
    There will be times in your life when it's just best to walk away....this would be one of those times. I'm gonna give you some advice....dumping your trauma on a love interest is not healthy. Leave that for your counselor. Don't let your past define you....you need to get those feelings settle, then leave it in the past, go forward in a positive light. Next you can't control everything about people. This guy was associated with an unsavory group, then you just distance yourself from him. You over stepped with those guys. That was their safe place to vent and you stepped all over them. Sure you don't agree with there views, but it wasn't your place. You should have left the server instead.
  11. smackie9
    Your BF took a big hit to his ego....not sure there is anything you can do but wait and see what he chooses to do. Begging and groveling ain't gonna do jack s%^#. Give him his space. I get it, you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone, but you were selfish. Do you really think you deserve a second chance?? Put yourself in his shoes before you answer that.
  12. smackie9
    I say she's just enjoying the attention...I doubt it's going to get to the next level. If she wants to keep it a secret, that's a big red flag.
  13. smackie9
    What I'm going to say isn't going to be very positive, but, if you had trouble dating irl, dating apps are not going to be much help either. Dating apps are no magic bullet. Now a days, even people who have relationship experience struggle with those apps. They reek of predators, scammers, flakes and mental illness. I recommend you focus on getting your life in order, not for those potential dates, but to bring up your self confidence. When you feel real good about yourself, it attracts people. Confidence wins the girl.
  14. smackie9
    Maybe OLD isn't really good idea then. From old fat guys to guys that just don't do religious, doesn't leave them with any options.
  15. smackie9
    Ya but it's like casting a wider net into an empty sea. "looking for god in all the wrong places 🎵" lol
  16. smackie9
    Isn't that the whole idea about going to college is to enjoy the freedom and social experience...partying, hanging out, doing activities, experimentation, making friends? You are wasting your precious time behind a screen....there's a whole world of everything out there to explore. The college experience sets you up for your adult life. basically you are on your own now.....it's up to you now to live and experience relationships in the real world. You could join a club or two and start meeting people.
  17. smackie9
    I don't get it...if they have that much god in their heart and looking for a godly man, why don't they go on the Christian dating sites??
  18. smackie9
    She drew a line in the sand for you to not cross. She made it perfectly clear she has no interest in making this more than friendly chit chat. Leave her be.
  19. smackie9
    Well it's a great time of year to go out and do stuff, holiday light displays, food venders on the streets, ice skating, window shopping, etc. I say shut down on the analyzing and just keep hope/positive...and yes be picky....it only takes one to be the one! Always put your best foot forward no matter what.
  20. smackie9
    Depends on how toxic it was. I was in a mental/physical abusive relationship. I tried to jump into dating again, not realizing I was still wrong in the head from the abuse. Needless to say, after about a few months of nonsense I realized I needed to take time off from dating....I took a year off. I grew a lot during that time. It was quite beneficial.
  21. smackie9
    Your issues are preventing you from having a normal happy relationships with partners, family, friends, and coworkers. The common denominator is you. Whatever therapy/treatment you are receiving isn't working. They can't help you if you don't reveal everything that you are doing, and what is happening in your life. I know people who suffer, restrict or avoid talking about their issues to the professionals because they feel it's a waste of time or the it's anxiety controlling them. If your partner wants to leave let them go. Turn to the healthcare professionals to handle things for you....speak up, take action, take accountability, move forward helping yourself get better.
  22. smackie9
    That's animal cruelty. The poor kitty could have been killed by coyotes. I would have burned her at the stake for dumping the cat into a forest. She's a nut job.
  23. smackie9
    Spend your money on a lawyer to force the sale of the house so you both can move on.
  24. smackie9
    Online dating was fine 15 years ago….now it’s a cesspool of scammers and predators. Even the most educated emotionally stable people get taken. Best to not get involved.
  25. smackie9
    Then you are not feeling it with her especially if you don't feel it in your heart to see what simple things like flowers or a compliment brings her. You two are not a match. I tell you this, most women would prefer a compliment of appreciation and a hug over a $700 bracelet or some Airpods.
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