smackie9

With OLD you have to go by a different set of rules. No texting for weeks. If they don't ask you out for a date within a week or two, then ditch them they are a time waster. Facetime before meeting them to see that they are the real deal. If they cancel more than once, boot them to the curb. Don't put up with them flaking on you or taking days to get back to you. If they start right in with talk of sex, block them. d%^& pics, block them. If they don't ask you out soon after your last date, move on don't reach out like crazy, chasing them around. First impressions count. They should show up on time, look and smell good putting their best foot forward. Open doors for you, good manners, not getting drunk, etc. Look for consistency in communication and an interest in getting to know you. If things start going well, do a background check. Court dockets are open for public assess and should be free. And for the love of god, don't let them know where you live.

I wouldn't feel hurt, but would feel this to be very concerning. Approach the subject again because it needs to be done and explain why. Depending on your local laws you could be entitled to a percentage of the proceeds if the house is sold. Before you have this conversation seek out legal counsel first to learn what you should be entitled to if at all. I hope you are renting your old place out...if not you are throwing money away. I inherited my dad's house, hubby moved in. We are common law. title is in my name...he's entitled to half of it regardless. In Canada, when you live with someone for 6 months to a year, you are entitled to half of each others assets. In Quebec this doesn't apply. You live together you get nothing.

My experience...when they do a 180, and no explanation...they cheated.

Reality check: As you can see her game is manipulation. She manipulates you and all those guys. She does it for the attention and the control. So whatever sweet messages she sends you, they are not sincere. She's just looking for an ego boost and see if she can still pull on your heart strings. Why? I would say she has some kind of narcissistic behaviour. Narcissists are insecure people and always seek out validation in how great they are and want to be admired. A lot of people fall for this type and find it difficult to wrap their head around how someone can be so cruel that made you love them so much. That's how they work. The quicker you know it was all manipulation for their own gain, the quicker you will snap out of this.

This ^^^100%. I'm an old lady and I had my fair share of "over looking" what I would consider a deal breaker because I really liked or loved that person. I tell you this, in the end it never works out. That is what I have learned. Your perspectives of what is ok or not are way too far apart.

You are no better than her parents, telling her, and forcing her what to do. It's only confusing her even more when honestly she needs to stand on her own two feet. She's trapped whether with them or you. Unfortunately she can't get help and live interdependently. She's scared, that's why she wants you to stick around. I think her parents are pounding her self esteem down so she will be dependant on them....it seem to be all about control. Everyone says "I was just looking out for her best interest" is that what it really is? Sorry but IMO you really need to get out of this as a romantic partner. Be her friend, be supportive, but also move on. *I really don't get why someone with such mental health issues would work in a field that would trigger her issues even more. That's like an alcoholic taking on a job as a bartender.

You need to work on yourself. Asking for reassurance is enabling your insecurity. It's not healthy to keep going to him for your security fix. I suggest you seek out counselling/therapy to learn how to cope better.

This is why we date....to see how things go, see if you can work together, get along and expectations are met. You have discovered things are not working out that great for you....it seems lop sided, you doing the heavy lifting, having to make sacrifices to make it work...and all for what....6 months of dating with 2 hours of travel time to see each other. You are figuring it out that she isn't really in it to win it, possibly not in love with you as you are her. Well it's a two way street, if you loved her so much, you wouldn't be here complaining about her. Sorry but, this is where you realize this isn't gonna work out.

You keep blaming the weed....it's not the weed, it's the fact you are not really that into her...her on the other hand is infatuated with you in an unhealthy way. You are just kids learning about life, your feelings and how it all works. You are best to cut ties and move on. Not worth the headache. Keep life simple for yourself.

It takes more than 4 months to adjust to a whole new living situation....sometimes it can take up to a year. It took awhile for me and my husband to get along fulltime having to work out the who does what, the need for space, boundaries, the paying of the bills, etc. We were sure bickering at each other lol. We knew full well of the stress and tension was us adjusting. BUT I think this is more than a stress and adjustment element to this. I suspect he's been hiding an issues from you and doesn't know how to break it to you in fear of losing you. IMO if things don't get any better, an ultimatum will have to be made. Shape up and communicate/work on the issue or ship out.

This should have been a deal breaker. Turnoffs seem to have a habit of snuffing out the attraction immediately with me. I guess you just got a delayed reaction. I'm thinking what else does she have in her closet that might jump out when you least expect it.

Was he blocked on your SM? Maybe that was his way to snoop on your page. What he's doing is not appropriate anyways. Your friend should figure that out.

Lots of guy don't care if someone has a BF. Whatever the reason it's shady.

Because he's looking to hookup with her eventually. Your friend needs to block/delete him.

He's not emotionally missing you he's looking to hookup.

She left an empty space. All you have to do is fill that void with keeping busy, reconnect with friends, go out more, go and do fun thing, try a new hobby, etc.

I'm sticking to my guns here...what he said in that conversation is worrisome. It's different if he was to say he's into country music and you into rock or other little incompatibilities. That's not a big deal, but when a guy boasts about being a nice guy etc. That's a real bad sign. That's not being picky, that's protecting yourself from a jacka$$.

Like what happen to gyms all over the world after new years, happens to dating apps too. best of luck.

You don't like what you see? dump her and move on. Simple as that.

As I read through the first bit there...too many red flags. What stool out to me the most is that he speaks ill of his ex. It usually turns out to be them that was rude and the problem in the relationship. Me being a woman, IMO you are not being too picky, you are being cautious. I totally get it, like a lot of women, we want/NEED someone that is emotionally intellectual. You are way to cultured, and intelligent to be dating a guy like this one. Throwing caution into the wind and just going out with them anyways even tho your gut tells you no! will only lead to disappointment, and lower your self confidence even more. That's why the dating apps are so difficult. There is very little out there that truly is healthy to date. If you stay vigilant, you will find that someone and not waste your precious time on garbage dates.

Your ex will only be using you until the next opportunity comes along. She made her bed, let her lie in it.

That's a sleazy way to lure you into a date. Ugh been there, don't like that. Don't answer him back.

OCD left untreated will only get worse because you are without the coping skills to control it. Therapy...the proper therapy will help you maintain it. If you don't your it will take over your life and won't be able to make proper decisions in turn will destroy relationships, , can't keep a job, etc. You will really go downhill.

He finds this quiet taxing so he avoids you. He's done with it because there always seems to be a problem. I really don't blame him. IMO if there are issues that are being continuously brought up that means you are not compatible and as a couple this isn't working out.

All things point to this guy being insecure about himself. When things were getting hot and heavy on the couch you pushed off and just talked. He felt rejected so it made him more insecure about himself. Getting weird/awkward is how he copes. I say you dodged a bullet. He's a numbnut.