starlight93

He contacted me first

Yes, he watches porn when he does. We've discussed it before because it also seems a bit excessive to me, but he has assured me that it doesn't take away from our sex life. But I do very much think that if he didn't watch porn that he would've been all over me thus past month regardless of my slight spotting. Maybe I'm wrong on that though, I'm really just assuming there. I will quote my response to another poster here because it answers your other questions well. I can't really go out and meet others locally because my car has broke down, completely broke down 2 weeks after we moved here. " Thank you for responding. We actually did have a dating period I forgot to mention. I moved near by for about 6 months, rented a room in a house. So we would meet up most days and hang out and he would come over as well. He was living with some of his family at the time. Sex was good then too I feel like, when he would come visit me. I went back to NC after the 6 months because the living situation wasn't great. So we were long distance again for another year or so after that. He is very serious about our relationship being long term and he feels we belong together. But I know the financial stress is weighing on him as well as us managing life in this new apartment. And I deal with depression and feel overwhelmed and stressed often myself and thats also been impacted him. So I do get that there's reasons why we may not be intimate right now, I just wish I felt like it impacts him more to go without that sexual connection for so long as it impacts me significantly. "

Thank you for responding. We actually did have a dating period I forgot to mention. I moved near by for about 6 months, rented a room in a house. So we would meet up most days and hang out and he would come over as well. He was living with some of his family at the time. Sex was good then too I feel like, when he would come visit me. I went back to NC after the 6 months because the living situation wasn't great. So we were long distance again for another year or so after that. He is very serious about our relationship being long term and he feels we belong together. But I know the financial stress is weighing on him as well as us managing life in this new apartment. And I deal with depression and feel overwhelmed and stressed often myself and thats also been impacted him. So I do get that there's reasons why we may not be intimate right now, I just wish I felt like it impacts him more to go without that sexual connection for so long as it impacts me significantly.

It would be nice if he would do that, but I'm not sure he would want to since he hates how much sensation wearing one takes away. He works a lot of hours and is paid well, it is more so my fault we have been struggling financially. My business hasn't been doing so well recently and my car broke down (transmission, so very expensive) so I don't have transportation to go to a job.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. It's a complicated situation. We met on okcupid 7 years ago. He lived in Ohio and I lived in NC. He visited me in NC and we moved extremely quick - he visited for a week and I came back to live with him at the end of that week. Lol We were so young and made some stupid impulsive decisions. We broke up after a year due to financial stresses largely. We both dated separate people but reconnected when we were both single again 3 years ago. We took things very slow this time and stayed long distance for 3 years, meeting up every few months. So about 4 months ago we decided to finally go ahead with moving in together. Both times I have moved to Ohio to be with him, mostly because I have almost no family and he has a lot here in Ohio. He has a very high sex drive. He tells me he masturbates once or twice a day. The first time we were together years ago the longest we ever went without sex the entire time we were together was about a week. I guess I thought it would be similar this time. He says he was more willing back then to have sex even if I wasn't perfect down there because I was who he lost his virginity to and it was all still new and exciting. It still hurts that he was excited enough then to have sex regardless but now he's okay with going for a long time without sex with me and doesn't seem affected by it. We are both 30 years old. He works at Amazon 4 days a week and I run my own business at home. But we have been struggling financially and with managing the household, and other things. I understand a lot of factors can go into the intimacy or lack thereof, but it is just really killing me that I felt so wanted back then and when we would meet up every few months and now this time living together I felt really wanted the first couple weeks and then boom, almost nothing.

I'm really struggling with the lack of sex in my relationship. A part of that is my own rejection issues and low self esteem and another part is that sexual intimacy is something I really love and find important. My boyfriend and I were long distance up until 3 months ago. Before moving in together we would meet up every few months or so to spend a few days together and we would have a lot of passionate sex. Since moving in together, the first couple weeks were great but since then we've only had sex a few times. It's once a month seemingly now. It has bothered me so much how short lived the excitement period seemed to be for him I guess and he just doesn't show as much interest now. He loves touch very much so there's plenty of kissing and cuddles, and he gets hard and I touch him... but it doesn't go anywhere. Last month we were struggling some with adjusting to our new living situation and he was stressed so he said that was why we weren't having sex then. And now it's because I have been spotting lightly for a while. I have PCOS and maybe some other things going on down there and sometimes I spot every day for really long periods. It has lasted months and months before. I understand he doesn't want to have sex only to pull out a bloody penis... I know some men don't mind period sex or wouldn't care about the slight spotting but he does, however I still have the need of feeling desired sexually and to be intimate... and I feel like if I keep spotting every day for months then we won't have sex for months... I don't want to only have sex once a month or less. And I also can't help but wonder if it's more than just the spotting. It just would help if I felt like he truly misses it at least and wishes we could have it like I do but I just don't feel like it affects him much to go without the sexual intimacy. I just want to not care and let it get to me so often. I've brought up how I feel and my concerns many times but I think he mostly just gets frustrated that I keep bringing it up so I decided to just let it out here this time. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice that might help me cope better with this issue? Thank you so much for reading. 💜