Xxxsamxxx1999

I think youre right. All of this has been eating me away slowly because its a lot to consider and what life could potentially turn out to be like. thank you so much for chipping in! Means a lot, didnt think I was going to have much luck on here finding an outside perspective.

So he isnt religious actually, his mum just celebrates somethings thats all. So they are pretty okay in that sense. But there are some things he tells me which allude to obedience. but yeah they are very stuck in their ways and im a bit more librated in my views and open minded. He is just set on some things.

He certainly is coasting and i guess i just want something a little more serious after 5 long years a bit of commitment i guess. From meeting his family briefly i think they are wonderful, and i can be open minded to living with them. But i cant shake the feelings of me always feeling as a guest in the house, having to be my best self all the time, i dont think i can disagree with his mum because he told me he expect me to agree with her and then we will work it out between us. But most off all i want to have privacy and want to live with him minus the family. If i had to live with his family i reckon i could only do it short term and not forever because i wouldnt want to start a family under his parents roof.

Guess i just want him to just be empathetic, and i confide in you how i feel about anything in life/relationship/work/family ect that youre there to support. Often he doesnt know what to say and leaves me feeling a little silly coming to him to chat. Sometimes in times of doubt i just want reassurance as any person would want. Above all compromise would be amazing, i find myself compromising around him and his family requests while he is very head strong and stubborn. Feel like if you can see the other half doing it for you to make you happy because they care about you, the other person should also feel up to it. talking about future and not leaving it till we are married to then chat about it would be amazing and would provide me with reassurance i need to know that this is going in the direction i wanted it to. I loved him since meeting him i have always wanted to build a life with him, always felt giddy aboutbit like a little child and the prospect of it always excited me cos i get to spend my life with him. I know its very cliche and maybe cheese but he made me feel this way and even despite everything i still feel like it. but in the end if its not meant to be, i cant force it. And i know it will be painful to let go but if it's for the best then let it be. Im fully aware of this.

We are not living together and i dont think this would happen for a while longer. He wants to buy his family a house first before he gets his own but even then in his culture the wife moves in with him and parents which is what he wants. During our conversations he did say we cant talk about future till we are “married” because thats when our life begins. Arguments are usually about a collection of small things that’s accumulate into a whole massive argument. Sometimes id like us to go away and enjoy a holiday and we often fight about that because his mum doesnt like him to go very far and he doesnt to keep mum happy. Sometimes we argue over stuff i put on my social media, nothing inappropriate btw but just reposting memes, or posting group photos from holiday on the beach or something. Above all we argue about him not stepping up sometimes and taking initiative as i commonly step out and go out of my way to do things and make his life easier. its a really tough one because we started as vest mates and worked our way up but because he is so set in his ways and refuses to find compromise times have gotten harder. We defo see eye to eye on SO many things especially family values and marriage. We both work and quiet happy with our jobs. They dont get into the way. i guess as cliche as it sounds i just sometimes want to be wanted a bit more by him, we see each other once a week. I’d also love to feel a bit more integrated into his family because ive made every effort for him to be integrated in mine. But i respect that out cultures are different. Sometimes i just want him to ve a bit more present because i feel like he is just coasting through this. Ge even said at a friends dinner that we are “dating” rather than “in relationship” which kinda silenced the table and was very awkward after for a bit. I feel ive given all i could and space for him to get to grips with how relationships work after 5 years. But he still seems to as oblivious as day one to many things. guess it just hurts, because my needs in relationships have evolved as i grew up and i guess im expecting different thing from this point in my life. And he seems fine with how everything was from day one. Dont know if i wait and maybe it will get better or if its better to close the chapter and maybe just be friends because i dont want it to get to the point where we start resenting each other.

He hadn’t explicitly told me that, but if i feel as if im always trying to mend things and resolve any disagreements so we can go back to normal and get out of the funk. I wouldn't blame him for feeling that like that. Because its taxing for me doing it. Maybe youre right if issue are constant then it might be the end.

When we started seeing each other we were still young and finishing education so there wasnt much pressure back then as there is bow when we are much older in life and want to do something with it because we arent getting younger. Appreciate your views here & thank you! I am also not trying to change him, we are different people and i respect that.

Been in a relationship for five years with an Albanian guy. I am not Albanian by nationality. We are in our mid late 20s. Continuously having issues where I’m not seen initiative from his side and constantly ask him to step up. an example, if we’ve had an argument, he sweeps it under the rug instead of coming over to talk through it and resolve it. I also find myself always having to engage in confrontational conversations with him and I am starting to feel like I am a problem for him because I am always bringing up things that can be improved that are not making me feel good, but his response to that is sweep it under the rug and ignore it .I hate being the one that brings up everything because I feel like a constantly have a problem. be very much lead a very separate relationship where we are not a single unit but instead two separate entities so we don’t tend to say things like “ours”, “we”, “us”. I feel like I always go above and beyond to please him and his family. He reciprocates that as well, however, sometimes does not. I also feel like my efforts are very under-appreciated by him and I almost feel as if he expected that from me. When speaking of the future, he tells me that it is “unpredictable and we don’t know what can happen”. As a woman in a long-term relationship, this makes me feel unsettled and uneasy, because I feel like I’m just a pitstop and I feel like nothing will materialise and I am just wasting my time. he doesn’t provide me with any reassurance apart from “I wouldn’t be with you for this long, if I didn’t see a future with you”. When I have these conversations with him about all of the above, he says this is how he is and he doesn’t know what more he can do. I feel like I’m asking for the minimum because I truly believe that if you love someone, you will go out of your way to compromise with them and find middle ground because you love them and they mean something to you. Am I overthinking can someone shed some light. If theres any nationals here can would love to ask you q’s!