Over the past 5 years, my GF (she's 32, I'm 33) has lied to me about her past, and while I was able to get over the first few lies, I wasn't prepared to to hear what she told me yesterday. Previously, she admitted that in the past, she lied to me about male orbiters on her social media (claimed they were friends), the fact that she was promiscuous with another guy up through the first week when we started dating. She lied a couple different times about her body count, and told me a complete fib about how she lost her virginity. There was a guy she was messaging on Facebook who kept asking her for foot pictures: she previously lied that this was some random person, but later revealed it was indeed someone she had been intimate with. For context, these are all things we ironed out in the first year of the relationship. While I forgave, I still felt betrayed and always have wondered what else did she keep from me. I wonder in the future, what other stories she has shared with me will continue to change.
Well yesterday she spilled the beans again. She told me that a guy we have hung out with many times before, a friend in a clique who is now married to another friend in that clique, was actually someone my GF dated and had intimacy with before we met. I was pretty shocked and hurt by this; heartbroken that I have been lied to for 5 years. And I'm very upset that I was the only person not cued in on these details. To make matters worse, this guy has cheated on his wife multiple times, whom he has 2 children with. I can't help but wonder if my GF has cheated on me with this guy while he cheated on his wife. I wonder what else I have been lied to about. How am I supposed to trust her? I don't feel like I will be able to get over this. I know that, at the very least, it would take drastic measures, like cutting all ties with this entire clique, who were originally my GF's friends. I'm now dealing with intrusive thoughts about her and that guy being intimate and I can't escape the feelings of embarrassment, shame, and disrespect from all the contexts we have hung out together.
I will say that apart from these lies, the relationship has been fine. We have lived together for 5 years, we have adopted pets together, and after 5 years we have certainly been considering marriage and having kids. However, now I'm not sure if I can shake the feeling that I've been living a big lie. I'm starting to question if this woman is the person I thought she was, and if she truly lives up to my expectations.
Has anybody ever gone through something like this here? Is there any valid reason to keep going? I'm not sure what is best for me at this point. It seems like continuing the relationship and ending it would hurt equally the same. If I were to continue this relationship, I have a lot of work to do to make sure I am happy and can trust again. Please help!
