I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I've recently met his friends. By the time they arrived, I was already quite drunk due to the nature of the evening and my nerves around meeting new people. This ultimately led to me staring at his best friend. Whilst I admit he was attractive, I had no real interest in him, and was trying to overcompensate for my social anxiety by being too attentive, thus revealing my attraction towards him. The next morning, I woke up, having had an explicit dream about the friend. I took a 6 hour train journey back home, as planned, and immediately broke down when I arrived. I caved in and told my boyfriend about the dream. He said he'd noticed me looking at his friend, but that it's normal to be attracted to other people. I've struggled with intrusive thoughts since the onset of my OCD roughly 3 years ago, which essentially left me questioning whether I should be with his friend. I gave him some space and told him about this a few days later. Thoughts of his friend have taken over my life in the few days since then, but I cannot tell whether I have genuine feelings for him or if it's my brain convincing me that's how I feel. Either way, I told my boyfriend this, and he was very reasonably upset, urging someone unbiased and unrelated to give their insight instead of us going around in circles. Ultimately, I still love him, but I'm confused about my feelings for his friend, and I'd like some advice about where to go from here. Thanks.
