smackie9

The only way this will ever get resolved is to rebuild a relationship with your son. Maybe letting him reveal his grievances upon you will get the conversation rolling. Everyone wants to be heard....might be a good place to start.

He knows you like him...maybe he just isn't ready to chase girls yet.

My take on this is yes you are friends zoned really badly. She totally knows you like her that's why she's trying to hide the fact a guy has interest in her. She likes the attention you give her, and yes there is some emotional attachment...but that's where lies the difference. Girls can be emotionally attached without romantic feelings but with guys it's everything to do with romantic interest. The best way to handle this, since we really don't know for sure is, to be desirable, is to be less available. When you are at their beck and call, there's no challenge. No challenge or mystery, no interest. I say pull away a little bit and have her come to you....make things shift to her making the effort.

I agree with the others we can't really give you any advice without all the facts of what happened, what lead up to it, etc. IMO regardless of the situation, name calling, and being aggressive is in no way acceptable. I see communication is a huge issue. This was never resolved properly if you are still being triggered...and if you are so afraid to communicate that to him, then you will always have unresolved issues. Sweeping it under the rug, banished to forever feeling guilty...that's no way to live.

This is en epic fail....everyday she sees you she is reminded of her cheating on her BF for selfish reasons. Can't live with herself. You best be moving on.

Communication is key but only in the right manner. You can say "I notice my friends behaviour when around you and you don't discourage it. This is making feel real uncomfortable." "I would feel better if you cut back on the "friendliness" and not give her that kind of joking attention." "I have a feeling she's getting the wrong impression from you, that she thinks you are flirting with her." "Maybe she's crushin on you, I dunno but she seems to make an effort to be around you all the time."

Well darling sounds like he's been gas lighting you since you met. That's the purpose of gas lighting...to make you think you are the crazy one, the one with trust issues, the one with the problem. I doubt couples counselling will work. If he's good at manipulating things to hide his secrets, he will do the same in therapy.

Hey we have all been there...in love with the wrong person. I bet money on it her ex wasn't toxic...she made him go toxic with her infidelity/lies. She's just repeating the process with you. Sorry hun but it's best to get out of it now...for good! Tip: when things comes out of nowhere...they have met someone else. That's when you dump them promptly.

Oh girl this dude is married.

Here's why this will never get off the ground. None of your decisions would benefit your relationship or bring you to together as a couple planning a life together. Instead of opening up/finding an opportunity where she lives you opened a business and bought property where you live. That isn't planning for a marriage/raising a family. I get a sense you aren't really in it to win it. You having doubts about this union? Wanting a way out...dragging your feet? You said it took you awhile to warm up to the idea of a serious relationship...you having a real tough time with the thought of marriage and kids?

This was one of those life lessons by fate. This happened for a reason. It opened your eyes to something you didn't see before. Making a few new adjustments to your life/how you do things going forward sounds reasonable to me. Keep in mind, those who appreciate you will show it maybe in other ways. Happy Birthday BTW 🙂

A) In order to have an existence to be appealing, and function as a human being in a relationship to keep it healthy is to be mentally healthy first before starting one. B) She's got issues herself. Stonewalling, deflecting and not taking any accountability for herself. She has poor communication which is detrimental to a relationship. It will never workout ever. Reality check: You've had plenty of time/opportunity to deal with this about yourself. You can't keep drifting along hoping someone will just accept it or you can apologize your way out of it everything. Treatment and getting to the point you are OK will take lot of years of hard work. Time is running out. Focus on helping yourself be a better person and develop friendships, and live life to build up a life. No more trying to excuse your way out of doing things in life. You have to really want this bad....are you up for it?

59 year old lady here....get a lawyer, figure out custody....move on.

Me personally would never date anyone that was connected to such drama. It speaks volumes about him not having a spine and selfishly dating someone exposing them to it.

You must understand the mind of an alcoholic...like any addiction, they will cheat, steal, lie, and deny. It's a disease/sickness. He needs medical help and counselling (AA meetings). He will never be able to just "stop" or "cut back". YOU cannot rely on him to quit. So bickering at him, holding accountable, then letting him belittle you making you apologize for nothing is all you will ever have with him. End the relationship.

I tell you this, getting involved with him, in the end will destroy you more than what you are going through now.

Be honest with yourself, none of them are right for you. Ditch both if you are looking for Ms. Right.

You are right, this will take time for you and them to get to know/comfortable with. Of course anyone new that comes into a tight knit group is going to be scrutinized. That's just human nature. Kinda like the new kid at school. As for your future, this would be a good time to think about your options. The money you make can either go towards an education (lots of universities have online course available so you can do it when it is convenient for you), or start investments to build a nest egg to retire on. That could be playing the market or buy real estate (rentals).

I suspect he may have ED.

Please get some counseling instead of carrying all this stress on your own....and get couples counselling.

If you want an honest opinion ask a female friend, or get some constructive criticism from a dating coach.

She's been taking advantage of you for sometime. Time to stop making life easy for her. If she works crazy hours she making money, in turn, she can afford to pay you child support, and she can have visitations on the weekends. Get full custody of your kids. lawyer up.

It is up to you to firmly express your concerns to your fiancé but it's up to your fiancé to deal with his brother. I agree with the above post....pack up your stuff and go live somewhere else until his brother moves out...the lack of contact with you will light a fire under your fiancé's a$$ to do something about it.

They both openly expressed their feelings for each other to you? Oh girl it's time to fold up your tent and leave.

She's acting toxic...that's all the proof you need to end this relationship.