Dancer Candy

Sharing a bed is going to be pretty confusing to some folks. Because of that, I would be more understanding of what happened IF you hadn't had a discussion about this, and then he eventually started back in with the groping. If he doesn't respect your wishes now, what's it going to be like later on? Dump his ass, and hopefully he learns a lesson for future relationships.

Honestly, I think that's your answer. Bring it up and talk about it - like marriage and the whole financial situation. If you are unsatisfied and stressed out, that doesn't do either of you any good, right?

Unless you are completely jaded, sex and emotions are always tied together. Usually you can't have one without the other. It's hard not to take things personally when you have a bad experience - "What's wrong with me?!?!?" or "what did I do wrong?!?!?" are pretty common responses.

I'm about the same age as you, and while I have been in multiple serious relationships, a lot of them have been with men who have actively hurt me. I don't say this to say that you can't feel the way you do, because of my own past suffering. I don't mean this to be a "my life sucks more than yours!" sort of post. Only saying to tell you that relationships are really really hard, and even if you get one, it might not turn out the way you hoped. Anyways, if I can keep trying, you can too! Also - it's fantastic that you have embraced writing so much! That was the only thing I was ever any good at at school, but I never had the courage to pursue it at all. You're inspiring!

I really hate to generalize here, but...that's not a given with some men. Guys are pretty famously bad at communicating, and a lot of them fear change. They might be committed to someone, and yet still not want to take the marriage step

Well, money is always a weird issue, especially if you are not married. Well, I've never BEEN married, so I am only speculating about that. But in normal dating/living together situations, I've never not had financial issues be super awkward to deal with, so what you are describing doesn't sound that strange, even if it is unfortunate It could be that instead of him not caring, he simply doesn't know how to proceed forward. Like, he might just have needed some time to think about things, and was bad at communicating that. How is your communication otherwise?

Speaking as a woman with terrible self-esteem, I would chime in and say that it's clearly not just low self-esteem going on here, but it's also an element of control and manipulation. It's not just that she (probably) feels bad about herself, but also seems to want you to conform to different behaviors. I'm not going to tell you how to feel, but you probably don't deserve this. How much you choose to deal with it depends on your personal feelings and needs. Personally, I'd leave, in your position.

As a fellow person who routinely gets used by others, I promise you that you are not alone in feeling as you do. I'm really sorry that proximity makes it impossible for you to avoid this person - that's just an added bit of torture! Honestly I wish I had some sort of magical spell I could cast to make things all better, but really the only thing that will fix the issue is time. That, and it's important to not give up on your dreams. We all deserve romance if we want it

Alternatively, if she's feeling ignored or hurt, she could just talk to her mom about it?

Moving across the whole country, leaving everything behind is a big deal. You mom is certainly going out of her way to pave the way for the new arrival. Also she probably wants this girl to marry your brother, and is doing what she can to make her feel welcome. BUT I don't think it's wrong for you to feel the way you do. It's not cool for your mom to make her kids feel ignored. The thing is, she probably doesn't realize that she's doing it. I'm certain if you talked with her about it, she'd probably switch gears. Your her daughter and she loves you. Personally, I don't have a great relationship with my own mom, but I know that she wouldn't do anything to actively hurt me.

Well, fine - can you explain why you think this is passive aggressive then? Because it really doesn't seem to be that way to me.

Yeah that's making some huge assumptions here. Your confidence here isn't based on anything real

Well I love all the "well known ones" (Manos, Space Mutiny, etc), but my all time favorite is probably "The Dead Talk Back". Something about that one just makes me laugh so much lol

I say just ask him for coffee. It's ok if you are visibly nervous - guys like that. And then when he (hopefully) says yes, you can both have a little chuckle as you exchange names, and info etc. Honestly, I bet he'd be into it?

By the way, I've been meaning to ask you. Noticed your user name and avatar - do you like Mystery Science Theater 3000? Because I'm a huge fan lol