smackie9

When it comes to men, if they really want you, there is very little that would deter them. This guy was lukewarm at best. You did nothing wrong.

I agree you need to be the man and take the lead...small talk, show interest, if she is receptive and smiling, ask her for her number or exchange numbers. I would get turned off if a man just handed over his number and told me to contact him.

Prob because you are too stiff and need to be more charming by being a flirt yourself, tease, make them laugh, good eye contact with playful eyes/looks. It's an artform for sure but ya gotta really put yourself out there with confidence/ be relaxed...give it a go.

If he doesn't value your opinions then you two are just not compatible to be together. Like I have said in another thread, you shouldn't have to teach him how to love and respect you. This shows he just doesn't and your course of action is to dump him. He's not a good BF to you simple as that.

Hoooold up! he says that type of stuff during your intimate moments? Oh hell ya you cause trouble. He's being a dope head. Girl, you shouldn't have to teach a man how to treat you/ love you. You need to let him go to save your dignity.

Well I see the dilemma here....the distance. She's wanting more of a commitment like you moving there to be with her rather than meeting up every 3 months. What are your future plans other than getting laid.

That's pretty risky.

Yes she is interested in you.

I think he doesn't want to rush into a marriage/children just yet. You two have spent so much of your time together apart, he just wants to spend time getting to know each other....which I say seems very fair. He's right, he is not the same person, he's an adult, his life has changed, and so has yours. So take the pressure off and put those plans aside for a year and a half. Get settled back into dating, settle into careers, enjoy your new lives....see where things take you.

Your number is no ones business.

Quebec you get jack s%$# no matter what. Their laws are weird and unfriendly. My friend's daughter reunited with her father (he didn't know her at all). Two months later he died. The daughter had to pay $1300 to be taken off ownership of his inheritance/estate so his sisters could take over his debts, very little of what he had. The common law wife of 25 years got booted off the property with nothing.

Wouldn't be hard to prove....having the same address for 25 years and share a line of credit on the house.

You are going to have to suck it up and accept the consequences for your actions. And that means losing your relationship. You don't get a free pass this time.

No one is the Ahole here...you are two people with two different expectations and should never have gotten together. You can try this: Let him go hang out with his friends. Invite some of his friends over...try blending all this together. Social life and family life. My parents had parties all the time with us kids running around. We turned out alright.

In BC you don't have to jump through hoops to prove anything. Also the woman can go after child support even if they are not his kids.

Looks like this is why things have been and still are difficult in your relationship. Maybe some couples counseling as a last ditch effort might help.

Just my opinion, life will be a struggle for quite awhile, like years. You will never be able to travel outside the country for vacations or anything. He can turn his life around sure but the question is, why hasn't he been doing anything about it for the last 7 years. I don't see real motivation, just a lot of gum flapping about what he might do but has excuses. And it's not up to you to figure all this out for him. I think he's way too much of a project to bother with.

Ever hear of a tease? She's just playing you for attention, and doing the same with any other guy that she might get talkin to. She's no friend, and she promises nothing. Don't be a schlep, ...ignore her and her crap.

He tells you he loves you then in the same breath he tells you he wants to boink someone else. Deal breaker. Boot him to the curb.

This is what happens when you have an affair with a taken person. They are incredibly still emotionally tied to that person, and will always find it hard to leave, or will go back to them. It's very possible she is only infatuated not in love because she's just rebounding. The reason is, is that they still very much love them, and wish things can improve. It's very tough to sort through all those feelings to which is what she is going through. You are not in that emotional turmoil. You already have one thing and that is that you want to be with her. The only solution is to cap those feelings and block/delete go no contact with her.

I was straight forward and very firm with not wanting to be married or have kids when I met my (common-law) husband. He accepted it and we are still carrying on for 34 years. His family harassed me about it right up til I was 45 (Roman Catholic yikes) My mother in law finally set them straight to leave it alone...yay MIL!. They still put Mr and Mrs on Christmas cards lol We get a kick out of that every year. So OP there's women out there that are OK without marriage. Maybe find someone that is financially equal to you. Something to consider. Kinda sucks that you invested under the notion that it was settled, now you are faced with leaving the relationship or there will be such resentment.

Because of what it represents, her romantic feelings about it, and he will be reminded about that fact every time he sees it. He wouldn't be here is it didn't hurt him emotionally.

OK I will tell you this...you think I would let my husband get a memorial tattoo of some hottie friend he was probably mackin on? Oh hell NO! there would be his clothing on the front lawn on fire. There would be just no way. I would tell her that you do not want to be lookin at that tattoo for the rest of your life...everyday, every morning getting out of the shower, at the beach, in bed....just no. Grow a spine and tell her no way. She's making one of her bad choices again. That's what I mean about "communication". If you don't stand up to her on this subject, you won't be doing too well in your marriage.

if you are getting married, you need to communicate your feelings about this. If you don't start now, your marriage will fail.

She wants marriage and stability, you want finical protection and no hoopla wedding celebration. It's not going to work. I personally wouldn't drag this out any longer. End it. simple as that.