I (23F) have been dating someone (29M) for about 7 months. Now, I am absolutely crazy about him- but there’s this one nagging issue that I’m unsure is normal or not. He’s extremely looks-focused, even indicating that my appearance is one of the biggest reasons he wants to be with me. Which, inherently I don’t think is wrong- attraction is very important in a relationship and it boosts my confidence that he’s so crazy about my looks- but it’s the extent to which he takes it that makes me feel a little undervalued for who I am. He likes to shop for me and help me pick outfits, he encourages me to diet and we joined a gym together- all of which have been with the intent of being helpful and healthy, which I do not mind at all. But- part of me worries that he doesn’t value much about me beyond that. He makes jokes about my intelligence, calling me ditzy and airheaded (it’s pretty lighthearted, but still), a lot of “at least you’re pretty” jokes. He doesn’t have much interest in my job or hobbies, and thinks many of my personal tastes are “dorky.” He also makes comments about other women that are a little disparaging (i.e.- we were talking about Stranger Things and I mentioned how I think Winona Ryder gives an incredible performance. He laughed and said he can’t get over how unattractive she is now compared to how she used to look. I said, regardless of whether you find her attractive or not, can’t you acknowledge a compelling actor? He said no, that “hotness” was his metric. I personally think Winona is still beautiful BTW). We were also discussing how a friend of his is being treated quite poorly by a woman he’s seeing, to which he emphasized “I can understand putting up with someone’s nasty behavior if they’re really cute, but she’s ugly.” I said that someone should have enough self-respect to not put up with abusive behavior no matter how attractive the person was- he just laughed. (I should note- his ex-girlfriend was legitimately physically and verbally abusive toward him, so I think there’s some underlying trauma). He has told me that my prettiness is his favorite thing about me, and looks are one of the only things he truly compliments me on. However, I should note that he’s also extremely obsessed with his own looks, paranoid about aging and coming up on 30, grey hairs, etc. -should I be concerned that he’s so appearance-focused, or should I just write it off as a bit of projection about his own insecurities (perhaps him complimenting me the way he himself wants to be complimented), and take the compliments on my looks as flattering and harmless? Is it partially just that we’re still a fairly new couple and the honeymoon hormones haven’t worn off?