Nope1991

I understand where you're coming from. But I also know that I'm here seeking advise on a very painful subject. It not just a story. It's my life. I love my children and am a good mother. I was on birth control. All I'm saying is, there is a kinder more approachable way to handle giving advise. I don't disagree with your assessment, just the way you attacked me as a person and a mother. I understand you don't know me and you only have the information provided. I wish you the best but I think we forget we are taling to people. Real people. Please try to be kinder to people. The problem again is not the message but the way you presented it.

This was the best reply I've had thank you. I appreciate the way you presented was kind and honest.

I think you're right. It hurts to hear, but I appreciate your advise thank you.

We've been living together for a year, we were seeing each other for 3 and dating for 2. We are generally happy. We have similar interest and do a lot of those togather.he brought it up 2 days ago. I just feel lost and hurt and angry.

I appreciate your advise, but maybe next time, try to be a little kinder. Belittling me and calling me immature isn't exactly helpful. But I appreciate the advise.

I 32 year old female am dating 29 year old male.Here's a little background ,I am divorced with two children. I was previously married to a narcissist. This is not a label I throw out freely. He is a true narcissist and is diagnosed now. So I have trust issues but, I am working on myself with the help if a therapist and medication. My now boyfriend was someone I was hooking up with ,but I genuinely fell in love with him. He is sexy, funny, nerdy, we have a ton in common,he's really great with my kids. He told me early on he didn't want a relationship because he was in love with his best friend. Also his bestfroemd is part of his whole primed group and they have all been friends since childhood. So its not just her it's the cohesive group of friends. I didn't care because we were not dating, again we were only hooking up. He never wanted kids or a real relationship. I would come over and hang out, we did everything like we were dating, but he would still invite the "best friend" over to watch movies together or go our and get drunk alone. He would do thongs like, we would make plans and he would call last minute because she would male plans. He would ditch me. I would be halfway there. It was a 35 minute drive. He would call me drunk and ask me to pick him up because she hurt him emotionally. This kind pseudo- relationship bull*** between them happened. I was understanding and then I started to fall in love with him. I started to get angry and feel jealous, then he told me that her and him had an affair behind her husband's back. It. He said it wasn't sexual, but they planned on leaving and being together. They told each other they loved the other. The husband doesnt know and neither do the friends. This did not help. They hayed me because they fwlt i was isolating him because i was a crazy jelouse ***, im not sure that im not.We went on in this vicious cycle of her hurting him and me picking up the pieces. Until one day he was going camping with everyone and he made plans to see me and canceled to be with her. I felt guilty and decided I was over reacting so I decided to try to go out and meet her and the friends around halloween. He treated me like an acquaintance at best. She didn't say anything nice except I didn't know you were dating this.must be you not a girlfriend, girlfriend.He ignored me and got angry she wasnt paying attention to him. I broke up with him. We got back together and the cycle never stopped he would text her about our relationship and he would seek advise from her. Around christmas I found a cat ring hidden in his sock drawer, I was so excited onlynto find out it was for her. I love cats and not it's kind of tainted with that hurt.i also did something shady and went through his phone and found snaps sayinf she loved his, and a message on insta saying she felt like she lost a piece of herself because he was gone. So, I planned on leaving l, but I got pregnant, and before you ask, yes I had Mirena as birth control. I told him I was done with him and her, he needed to delete her and remover her from social media. He was furious but did finally after fighting with me I screamed and threw thing like a child. I told him I hated him.and was not kind. . His reasoning was he would lose his whole friend group. Reminder he never wanted kids. I told him I could go home and raise her and he could tell everyone I cheated or whay ever he wanted and I would back him up. I already had two beautiful babies and would be blessed to have one more. He said no and moved in. I felt confused and he made me feel awful because he couldn't be with his friends anymore because they went as a group.and she would be there.More than once he lied to me and went and hung out with her and the group. The final one i told him it was her or me. I was done.I was pregnant and so lost. We are now togather.and he has removed her and we are actually happy. He loves my kids and is a great dad to our 4 month old daughter, he is kid and considerate, we have so many hobbies we do togather, and i do love him.It has been almost a year of happiness. I now have postpartum and not able to medicate due to breastfeeding, so im not syable all the time. He brought up feeling trapped because he can't go do things with his friends and all I want to do is leave him. Am I the A-hole?