smackie9

Workplace emotional affairs do happen but should be avoided. Emotions like that have no place in the work environment. It's just a crush which is more desirable because she's unobtainable. All I can say it, get your head out of your butt and distract yourself some way to turn off that dopamine. Reality is there is nothing else you can do about it. She's taken and you need to respect that. Don't end up being her side line chump.

Who knows what this guy is capable of. His next plan could be to try and break you two up by spreading rumors about seeing you with someone else etc. It's best to get to your BF asap and explain the situation.

Why does he have to work so many hours? he had NP making time for you for, what you say, 5 months. What changed?

This guy has been so secretly obsessed with you...he's one of those who claims he's the "nice guy" which are so entitled because they think that way. This guy is still going to be around and cause trouble. If your BF was in your position and one of your Gfs did this with him...wouldn't you want to know what kind of person they are to stoop that low? That guy is an a$$hat, he doesn't deserve a friendship with your BF. He's creepy.

After a few months of dating, this should be a dealbreaker. Your priorities don't match his, it's a major incompatibility. Dump and move on.

What loving man would force his wife to do things she doesn't want to do, and them make her feel so bad, then leaves her. TBH I think that was a planned escape from the marriage. He was looking for an excuse. Whatever has happened to him mentally, you need to protect your children from that. Get a good lawyer.

Dump the butt head please. Passive aggressive jerk. he's the one that is abusive and disrespectful. You should stay away from him for now on.

If he was interested in anyone he would be doing the asking. I think you should leave it as a nice thought and stay as friends in your social circle.

Block/delete/move on.

Ending it was the for the best. Missing her is normal but you will get over it and move on. You will look back on this later and ask yourself what the hell you were thinking, putting up with someone like that.

Have you ever seen him date or be with a girl or has he ever been known to have a GF? There is a possibility he might be gay.

It's not about the "amount" It's about your core values this attitude of hers about spending, goes against.

The only way to find out is to ask her if she wants to hang out/go on a date.

Please let him go. You are not doing him any favours. You are robbing him of his youth, dating, experiences and finding himself as he develops into an adult. Their brains don't stop developing until age 25. Nothing wrong with dating younger, but it's so temporary. If a life partner is what you are looking for it's not the way to go. I think he needs to find his way, some other way.

Perfectly normal to bond with a coworker because you have that commonality of the job and what goes on with the job. You have partnered up and feel protected...that kind of attention plays on a woman's emotions for sure. It's kinda like a type of chivalry, and us women don't see much of that these days! How to deal with it? See it for what it really is...a simple crush that you don't act on. You need to emotionally detach yourself...so when you get those feelings you distract yourself at every turn. If possible find a way to spend less time together, and stop letting him do you favours...start declining. Then when you get home, learn to really appreciate your relationship with your SO. Maybe assess what has been missing, like quality time together. Suggest more date nights, etc. Eventually this will iron itself out and you will realize how silly you were for catching those feelings for your coworker.

She admits that the root cause was money issues for the demise of her last marriage....BIG RED FLAG. History will repeat itself. She has told you how she is...and I can't see her compromising for very long when old habits step in. My niece went into a relationship knowing her partner was a dead beat dad. She had a kid with him, then when the relationship ended, guess what....he's refusing to pay child support. So prime example, you should heed them red flags. IMO you are kidding yourself this can work out.

Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too...a situationship where you commit to him. He's a jerk, kick him to the curb.

Be really responsive and flirt a little.

He's probably lost feelings and is too much of a coward to end it...so he's doing the slow fade in hopes you will figure it out on your own.

Just me but it's been a whole month, not a few days, of no contact. I can see if she stipulated that she needed a few months or some kind of indication of what is needed. I don't think it's very fair to leave someone hanging for that long. So like I said it's up to you to make that call...wait but give yourself a deadline, of just assume it's over and start to move on. Me personally wouldn't put up with this. I would feel my time is precious too so why waste it on this nonsense.

Helping her through the breakup is hurtful, and would confuse her. Going no contact isn't harsh, it's the right thing to do. You don't need a therapist. You are just driven by your feelings of guilt. Sure everyone has them it's perfectly normal to feel that way when breaking up with someone. Life isn't easy, and this won't be the last time this will happen. Learn to plough through it.

If I were you I would make it end. This is what people do who are clinically depressed and can't cope. They push people and activities out of their life. For some reason it's too exhausting mentally. It's up to you to decide whether you are going to just sit by and wait or just end it. It's a tough one.....have you tried to go see her?

These would be deal breakers to me. I wouldn't plan a future with someone who is so far off with finances and how children should be raised. Those two things are crucial. Money is one of the biggest. You will be fighting like cats and dogs.

I sorry to say this but he mislead you.. I feel he is hiding under the guise of being a swinger to hide the fact he's having affairs/flings. Then when he is called out he diverts blame, becomes passive/aggressive. That's mental abuse/ manipulation/ gaslighting. I can see why you are very hurt. You put a lot of trust and commitment to this relationship, and it turns out he's a dirty dog. IMO what you see is what you get....he can't help himself, and no words from you is going to change that. Don't fall for his manipulative tactics to guilt you into staying. Get out while you can. You definitely deserve better.

It doesn't feel right because it's not. You are who you are and if you are happy with who you are and what you do, then you should date someone who feels the same way about you. This is what I learned.....never change who you are to suit someone's expectations. That's foolish. I'm glad you are starting to see the light on this. You two are not compatible and should never had started dating. He's not the guy for you. And don't let him try and hoover you back....he's just gonna be the same old jerk he was the last time.