This may be a long post for background info and I may be kind of blunt. I am a married woman. My husband gave me a choice to be with another man or woman. I said woman because I didn't want another person inside of me. He said man. He wanted to see me "enjoy" myself and give him oral at the same time. Well, I had to get drunk to do it. Very drunk! The first time, the guy wasn't comfortable having another man in the room so it didn't finish. He had a hard time with what he saw and said we needed to do it again and be able to suck him. Second guy was like the first. So, third time I was really drunk, he said I didn't get into it enough and had to do it with the same one again. I did. I was drunk and we had a plan of what was to happen. I did everything except the most important. I didn't pay much attention to my husband. I hated what I had to do. I cried so much before and after I did it. We had so many arguments and it was getting really bad. He says I did things to this guy I never did to my husband. Things got really bad after and I was forced to do some disgusting things to help him get over it. Now, I also found out that he was cheating on me before any of this with a girl half his age and others. Did he make me do this out of guilt? He says I can't use the drunk excuse because I have been drunk with him and didn't do those things to him. I don't remember most of it. We had an agreement that I kept my eyes shut and pretend it was my husband. I remember things when I did open my eyes, but not alot. He doesn't believe that in my head, I hated every second and just wanted to get it over with. He calls me names and makes me feel horrible about myself. After 33 years together he left me and after 1 day, he was with someone else. We still have 2 kids at home that he ignores just so he can make my life miserable. Don't get me wrong, other that this situation he is a great person. I know it sounds like I am defending him, but he is hurt. He says he is competitive and can't be beat that someone else made his wife feel better then he did. He wants me to remember and admit what I did and felt but I only know what I felt in my head. I don't remember the feelings I had. I don't remember how it did feel but he still has such a problem. After all of this, I still love him. There is more that has happened, but it would be a book. He said he needs me to be with a woman and show him that I can enjoy something better but I am not a lesbian. I don't enjoy that, I tried it before for him and it didn't work but he thinks it would have. That is why he left me because I said I couldn't do it and let him see what he thinks he needs. Am I crazy? Am I wrong for not fixing him? I know that I was wrong for what I did (ignoring him) and I have tried so hard to make it up to him. But he has never tried to make up for the things he did to me. What do I do?
I should really post some text so you world savers can see the what was offered many times. She had the option to leave and I would give her what she wants. In the future, it's probably best NOT to give advice when you have no idea what the real situation is.