My girlfriend of nearly a year has admitted to me in the past of struggles with depression, but overall things were really strong in our relationship for the duration until about a couple months ago.
1-1/2 years ago she lost her dad, it was shortly after this loss she said she started feeling depressed. She never really showed that side to me, however, now, a few months ago she got news that her mom has cancer, & she started to spiral into a depressive episode again. Her personality seemed to change, and it was like she became a shadow of herself. We talked and she told me she was struggling and opened up about everything she was having trouble with - at the center of it all was the situation with her mom who she is super close to.
As a result of it all she began to withdraw from me and isolate herself. She told me she needs some space, and has been unresponsive to me for 1 month. I told her prior this moment that I would support her, that I'll wait for her as she goes through this difficult period and opened the door to her that she can take some space if she needs.
But a month has gone by and I guess I am now starting to feel a bit anxious about the status of our relationship. I would have an easier time waiting if I knew what she was thinking, but she is as I said unresponsive. I've tried a couple of reach-out messages to let her know I'm there. Is the reality that it is over?
That is the thing, the last thing I need to do right now is suffocate her. I thought about sending her a card and a little packet of sour gums I know she loves, which was kind of an inside joke between us. Is that still too pushy? Thanks for the advice to all. I keep reading so many conflicting things. One day I read that it is common for people suffering through depression and maybe even grief in her case to withdraw in this way, and that I should keep reaching out to let her know she isn’t alone. Then I feel like I fool the next day for trying to keep chasing after someone who hasn’t reached out in a month. But the depression I believe is real. It was something she confided in me before this whole period of distance began. Feels like a shame.