Petrichor

Well this makes me feel a bit better but yeah ultimately finding another place would be the best bet for me !

Through a series of awkward events I have a suspicion my male coworker (let’s call him Ash) thinks that I like him. Which I do not, he has a family and I respect that boundary entirely. I really don’t know how to handle this either. My work place has always been an odd and uncomfortable environment due to a lot of people being two-faced and super gossipy. So I generally opt to keep to myself and just talk about work. In my industry we work in pairs to accomplish assignments and I believe my partner is a narcissist sowed the seed for all this drama. We’ll call her Narc for the story’s sake. I got assigned to work with Ash this was my first time working with him. We worked on a couple projects over the span of two weeks. Every time we were working on Narc felt the need to butt in with personal stories while Ash and I were just trying to finish the assignment. Whenever Ash was gone Narc kept randomly bringing up that her planner design reminded her of Ash’s kickball team and kind of hinted that I should tag along with him to one his games. I kept shutting it down every time she brought it up. I thought to myself this is a man I just met, I have no rapport with, and he has a family (she knows this). It just seemed so out of left field and weird. *Narc also keeps bringing up the idea of dating coworkers which I always tell her I don’t sh*t where I eat. I even told her that most of the guys here are relationships and her rebuttal was that “guys that age are always in relationships so it isn’t a big deal”. She’s single and 17 years my senior I feel that she just wants to see a train wreck. Then one day while Ash and I are working Narc walk over with her planner in hand and says “Hey Ash this planner reminds of your kickball club you should bring her with you next time”. Then Ash immediately replies with an awkward laugh and says “Oh that’s where I met my current girlfriend of seven years”. I follow up with “yeah I’m not too interested in outdoor sports and I don’t have much free time”. There was an awkward silence then he left. After that he started avoiding me and keeping convos short. Out of respect and optics I did the same, I wouldn’t be rude or anything I’d say hello and smile if I see him in the hall but that was it. I changed my routes around the building to avoid him and put on my headphones when he’s close so people wouldn’t try bring me in conversation they were having with him. It’s been months probably closer too a year now and even though I’ve done all this things still feel off, more so with other coworkers other than Ash. - I Just feel the eyes on me whenever he was near - New people and people who I barely knew kept bringing up his name to me. (Usually after they start hanging out with his group) - I had to help out Ash and his partner, Ash was sick and his partner said to me “As long as you don’t make out with him you should be good” - Another one of his friends would laugh and pat his back and walk away whenever he sees him talking to me - His friend group ignores me when I ignore him and is friendly when I’m friendly towards him. I honestly don’t know how to handle this I really don’t like the optics of looking like I’m a home wrecker. I wonder if I should’ve said something earlier when the kickball thing happened, it could’ve made worse. Even with what his friends are doing it’s all subtle if I call it out I’ll look crazy. I just miss being a wallflower everyone ignored. I’m currently looking for a new job for many variables including this one but it’s been rough my industry is still recovering from pandemic.