Hello! I am a 24 year old man in a relationship with a 25 year old man. We’ve been together for 2 years, and now live together. My issue is that, at the start of the relationship, he did things that I’m still not over. He boasted about talking with his exes, he would talk to me about his exes and past sexual relationships nonstop, he would say things like “I’m so glad I had sex with other people before meeting you, so I can have the experience,” knowing full well that he is and was my first partner in every way. Then on our first Valentine’s Day about 6 months into the relationship, we were having sex and he was struggling. He said “Sex with [ex] was so much easier.” I just told him never to do that again. A month later, he asked me to visit him at work. I said “I’m anxious to because I don’t want you getting in trouble.” He said, “Well guess what? [Ex] used to visit me all the time so maybe he cared more haha” as a joking way to get me to visit him.
He has since changed. He no longer compares me or makes me feel inadequate. He has apologized profusely, and told me those things were reflections of his low self esteem and not of me. But I still hold it against him. I have a therapist, and I’m working on this, but I still find myself not being able to get over it. Every time we have sex I think about the comparison. I always compare myself to his exes now, which I didn’t do at first but his comments made me feel that I needed to.
any advice?
