Painfullyshy23

thank U 4 advice

I would appreciate the help

I wish I could cry I don't drink or am I able to speak freely

Well thats the way its been for me as well its sort of comforting knowing that theres people out there with the same problem Its kind of being alone as your sorrounded by people

O.k lets see I do have some friends but,.... not friends that I hang out with, I really don't hang out at all, I have a good friend here that gives me excellent advice but I don't put it or am unable to put it to practice. So I pretty much remain as I'm. My friend here helps me out but you know how it is you leave a message and wait for a responce, is a good way to communicate but its not face to face when you can talk and the other persons responce immidiatly you know. She has gotten me through some though things and given advice that deserves my gratitude but yet remain without the form to put it into effect. So here my cry I'm wondering if theres other people here that might be from the chicago or vicinity area that may give me a helping hand to put those words of advice to use. I really need the ability to talk, see I'm like really, really innept in social situations. Really shy guy over here need to take small steps, and what I'm looking for is friends that may help me take them. Well thats it PM me or post your message.

the problem is taking tha action, you get the courage and then 2 feet away from acting an invisible wall appears, this moment is the worst of all. I have been able to break this wall a couple of times only to be made a joke on the other side and everysingle time this happens the wall becomes bigger, thicker, and the strenght that jelp you break the wall becomes weaker, smaller. You know I wish I was ignorant, I wish I would walk through this earth without thinking of the cosequences of my actions just let things happen and what ever happens, happens, Hoping to be forest gump I wish I was simple.

You know in a social community as that of one of our close cousins the chimpanzee, when a member of the society does or acts in a way that is not accepted by the community, the member is punished with discumunication in which even if the punished member was to try to communicate with the rest of the society he or she would be ignored until such time when he or she has paid for the its misbehavior. In this manner of punishment the offender is caused not physical harm but mental and psychological. This form of punishment can be viewed in almost all social creatures. For the " shy " unfortunately this is mainly a self-inflected punishment in which the person is not being punished by anyone else but is a sociological and mental trap in which the person afflicted is unable to act or in this case socialize with the rest of society. In this manner a normal social creature suffers tremendous stress and mental harm due to ones own inabilities to communicate. This could easily be described in the following a man dying of thirst in the middle of the ocean as the old proverb says " water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink " but for the " shy " it is better described as a man dying of thirst in a swimming pool filled with Evian water except the man is terrified so he is unable to drink. You know pretty much describes most of us doesn't it we may not be seeking sex or longtime companionship; I believe all we are doing is simply trying to communicate and unfortunately failing miserably. All I do believe is that our condition primarily began in our childhood and let Freud turn in his grave but it was with our mothers, it is also well know that in a way Freud was a mamas boy pardon the phrase. Our mothers, they meant well I'm sure, but although something looks good at the moment the end results are less than what is expected. Overprotection, harsh rules and regulations that are to be followed to the letter, not letting you socialize with friends or colleagues and in this manner you lost the chance the easiest and natural chance to be normal, they meant well I'm sure, I'm sure you now the old saying "All men are made by their mothers " so here we are suffering for the well meant mistakes of the past the worst thing is our inability to change the effect, and for the one who is able to break free of the heavy chains that where placed on our shoulders thousands more remain tied down by their minds, what a fate, what a horrible fate the worst of all punishment for a naturally social creature. I just say De Profundus Clamo Adite Domine Tell you what it really sucks to think so much.

man so tired wish you could sleep all night and day wish you could live in your dreams in dreams things are different I'm my self am very tired my head hurts constantly as I ask myself why me what did I do to deserve this I know the feeling widhing but no change I wish I could tell you that is going to get better I wish I could dry your tears and tell you that is O.k...,, hold on to hope is all I have

You know in a social community as that of one of our close cousins the chimpanzee, when a member of the society does or acts in a way that is not accepted by the community, the member is punished with discumunication in which even if the punished member was to try to communicate with the rest of the society he or she would be ignored until such time when he or she has paid for the its misbehavior. In this manner of punishment the offender is caused not physical harm but mental and psychological. This form of punishment can be viewed in almost all social creatures. For the " shy " unfortunately this is mainly a self-inflected punishment in which the person is not being punished by anyone else but is a sociological and mental trap in which the person afflicted is unable to act or in this case socialize with the rest of society. In this manner a normal social creature suffers tremendous stress and mental harm due to ones own inabilities to communicate. This could easily be described in the following a man dying of thirst in the middle of the ocean as the old proverb says " water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink " but for the " shy " it is better described as a man dying of thirst in a swimming pool filled with Evian water except the man is terrified so he is unable to drink. You know pretty much describes most of us doesn't it we may not be seeking sex or longtime companionship; I believe all we are doing is simply trying to communicate and unfortunately failing miserably. All I do believe is that our condition primarily began in our childhood and let Freud turn in his grave but it was with our mothers, it is also well know that in a way Freud was a mamas boy pardon the phrase. Our mothers, they meant well I'm sure, but although something looks good at the moment the end results are less than what is expected. Overprotection, harsh rules and regulations that are to be followed to the letter, not letting you socialize with friends or colleagues and in this manner you lost the chance the easiest and natural chance to be normal, they meant well I'm sure, I'm sure you now the old saying "All men are made by their mothers " so here we are suffering for the well meant mistakes of the past the worst thing is our inability to change the effect, and for the one who is able to break free of the heavy chains that where placed on our shoulders thousands more remain tied down by their minds, what a fate, what a horrible fate the worst of all punishment for a naturally social creature. I just say De Profundus Clamo Adite Domine Tell you what it really sucks to think so much.

I know exactly where you are and well really I can't offer much help all I can say is your not alone really you are really not alone

you ask what a shy guy thinks well let me tell you first of all at the very bigining is what does she want? or what is she planning to do to me? or whats the joke? and then is I really like her, but if I get to close she'll leave me it usually ends up in him never trying to make you mad always trying to keep you happy and this make you unhappy and well you leave him and his destroyed but if you like him for real and not a game help him wake up from the nightmare but remmenber if you do move forward is a challenge you must complete if not his nightmare becomes worst

listen if he is shy and by all the things you say he is he is terrified to suggest something and that you will hated and then you will stop liking him I know for I'm the same type I would rather have a girl say what she wants and let her be happy than do what I want ofcourse this is wrong If you do like him talk to him and let him know that you like him but would like for him to suggest more things that he would like or both of you would enjoy you know the guy is lucky to have you he dosen't want to loose that and for this reason would rather be doing what you like than what he likes you know talkingis the hardest thing to do for a guy that is shy, shyness should be the name for someone who can't speak

An ephiphany..., Oh how much I wish to tell you that I have an idea a reason a cause for this feeling, You know I wish I could help and in the process help myself but I can't in the recesses of my mind I have let myself to believe that everything happens for a reason that nothing just happens that the world turns because there is a purpose but as time passes I see that it is just my childish notion of a world that really has no purpose it just happens but there is no reason for it you know deep inside of you you know that theres something wrong that your life should not be as should or should have not turn out the way it did you know no matter how close you mught be to your family that theres something missing theres a void inside of you that cannot be filled and each day it grows and you feel it and you know that it will eventually tear you apart and you try to fill it but theres nothing you put in it that will change it for you it might be food or work or television but this things don't fill the void it merely distracts you from it I had the chance to feel once but the four walls of my mind which are my prison held me back you want an ephiphany maybe its my self hatred that drives me to my lonlyness my self punishment for my shyness and my inabilities to find that one person that completes the part of my soul thats missing just an existence is what I have I have never lived nor have I died I have just existed I feel that I'm close to the end...,

know exactly how you feel and know well maybe not exactly but never been kissed, one girlfriend who I had no guts to speak the words I like you now I find myself alone with as you no social skills and as you alone in my 20s weeping as I write for I feel my pain and can hear yours not close enough to anyone to talk and no strenght to talk to anyone else contemplating suicide but never having the guts to do it you......, are not alone

YES and its something you don't want I read alot

This guy your with he is mad at himself and holds on to you because it makes him feel powerfull, he may not be able to control things in his life but he feels he can control you so he feels better, I'm a guy and believe me I know his type quite well his insecured and fragile is nothing to have pitty but if he feels he's losing his control on you he might turn to other forms of control which might be abusive what ever you do please be carefull

o.k where to start I'm old (early 20's) alone, I have no one and I just began reading this book and it pretty much put into prespective all the things I'm in the first few pages that I read(selfhelp book) please forgive my stupidity I just joined a couple of minutes ago and I've been reading this book for the first time today. Please let me tell you a little background on the waste which has been my life, well early 20's, distant, a pure thinker, since well I have no social skills, a nerd in high school, I became the nice guy you know I pretty much feel like a loser and well I have no one, I usually don't get out at all, and the few times that I have gotten the nerve to ask a girl out i've been sorely shut down or play with, and in my retarded state I have trusted and have come out the village idiot in the end, see when I do go out to work or where ever I become a person that wears a mask to protect myself from the outside world, I seal off all emotion and act my way through which ever situation I find myself in, nobody knows who I really am they know the character I portray, but now reading this book I can't seam to keep my now normal cold and calm exterior even now thinking back to what I read and how my life has turned out I just can't stop weeping, now I feel worst because now its sounds like I'm whinning somebody please play a violin oh see what I just did hide my pain through jokes. I'm so afraid I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I'm so afraid to speak I believe I came here as a cry for help I don't know what to do........,

I know is hard when your shy but listen if he relly cares for you he'll understand if you speak with him, but you know I'm shy and I don't trust anyone just be careful he dosen't already know this and is just rying to get to get something else you know