AVietSniper

Hi all, I wanna say thanks in advance for any replies I hope to get. Anyway, long story short I went to this tech place 3 days ago for a project at school. There was this girl that worked there that I noticed kept coming in and out of the room smiling at me. Anyway, later on when I was looking at the displays, she came up a lot and started telling me about the different things going on. Well she was cute and I thought I might have a chance so I was going to get around to asking for her number but got interrupted and I missed my chance that day by an outside incursion. Well I really enjoyed my small conversation with her and I thought it would be worthwhile to go back yesterday and see if I could get another shot at it. Plus i wanted to face my fear and just go and ask for the dang number if i got the chance (as you can tell this would be my first time doing such a thing). Well I did see her again and she remembered me but I had some REAL bad luck because I kept missing my opportunity due to people coming around, people asking questions, and etc... Well in the end I lost my chance so I left. When i got outside I decided I wasn't going to quit so easily and since she was working at the main desk, I thought I would just pop back in and just go ahead and use the direct approach. But when I got inside, it was a guy at the desk so i pretended i lost a student id to look for her. anyway i didn't find her so i decided to leave and pretend i found my student id. Just when i was about to leave, she came back to the desk and saw me. I had a small chat with her but hecka people started to come in and her co-workers were all around so i lost my chance again. I decided I would go outside and wait a while and just call her on my cell phone and ask her over the phone. I did just that and to belittle the fact that I CALLED instead of asking in person, I told her I just didn't want to embarrass her in front of her co-workers. So she gave me her number and what not so I was happy. However, I accidently deleted her house number on my phone and I only have her cell phone # now (Which she says she doesn't pick up a lot but just to leave a msg). I kinda messed up when I called though because the first like 6 seconds after I told her who i was I couldn't get the right words out of my mouth so it sounded some like "well uhh...so anyway uh...hmmm...yeah the thing is..." (Yeah its hilarious if you all could see it, i was so dang nervous) Anyway..this was yesterday and I decided to wait until tomorrow to call her so I don't seem like I'm TOO interested. But My dilemma is when i DO call her, what do I say? I don't wanna sound like I just want to be friends but I don't want to sound like I'm in love with her or anything. I simply want to just get to know her but I don't know how to start that off. I was thinking about calling and just saying "Oh I thought I'd say Hi" but I thought that might be too friendly. Any advice? Also...what if she doesn't pick up? Should I leave a msg? Basically I just want to kinda get to know more about her on the phone a bit before I ask her out. Thanks again in advance.

Hi All, I just want to say thanks in advance for any replies I hope to receive. Anyway...I'm diagnosed with Clinical Depression. Basically...before I started taking the Prescription Drug Paxil, I would feel sad for absolutely no reason. And when things in my life got bad, my mind automatically assumed everything was my fault. Basically my self-esteem was low and I didn't know why. Having clinical depression is extremely frustrating because you always feel sad and depressed and you never know why. Even when things were great in my life, I always felt sad and hopeless. Its like having this black cloud in front of your face all the time. I even wanted to kill myself because I was so confused at what was happening. Well luckily the drug worked and I actually felt normal. For months now the situation drastically changed. But recently, I stopped taking the drug because I felt I could handle things on my own now. Well that was a BAD move because after 3 days I had a suicidal episode. I felt dizzy from time to time and so on. Well today I went back on the drug and things are already starting to change. Athough I'm really dizzy. Basically my point is...now I'm really starting to feel lbad because I'm so dependant on this drug to help me feel normal. My life goal is to be a Police Officer and hopefully make my city SWAT team. I've grown up from a long line for fighters and warriors in my family and I myself expect to be one. Well... the fact that this stupid little pink pill is the one thing standing between being me and insanity is very upsetting. I don't know what to think now. I'm scared that I might have to take this drug forever. Its really bothering me. Any advice?

Hi all again. I wanna say thanks in advance again for any replies I hope to get. I actually wrote a few days ago about a topic relating to this but this problem is kinda new. Well to make this story short, basically I work at Best Buy. Best Buy use to own Media Play before they sold that company off a few months back. Well basically it use to be that you could get discounts at Media for working at Best Buy. Anyway, today I went with two of my friends to media play and I saw this really cute girl who worked there. I asked her if Best Buy employees still get discounts there and she said no since the companies split. I exchanged names with her because it seemed like a good way to start a conversation going since she inquired if I knew this and that person that worked at my Best Buy. I said yes and we talked a bit about the people that worked there. Afterwards, one of my friends asked if they sold a movie there and she took us to its location. I was telling my friend sorry because I don't get discounts there anymore so I couldn't get the movie for her. Thats when that girl said "Oh well if you want I can get it for you with my discount. I can just get it for you and you can call me later for it or you can wait til i'm on my break." Well I didn't want to take advantage of that offer since I didn't know her at ALL but my friend gave me this look so i accepted. So she said she was going on her break in 10 mins and she would look for us when she went on her break. So 10 mins later my friends and I came back and she got the DVD for us with a discount. I offered to get her something like Starbucks or what not and she accepted so i went and did that. Anyway...I was too scared to ask for her number or anything so i left...but later I came back and pretended to be interested in buying another movie to try and talk to her more. Afterwards I just said "Well lemme give you my number so if your ever at best buy, just gimme a call and I can maybe help you out in return." And so I wrote it down and gave it to her. Well..anyway, I think she's really cute and I'd like to get to know her better. I'm not good at this because...I've never had an encounter like this so I wouldn't know what to do next. Any tips? Suggestions? Feedback on the story? Anything would be great. Thanks again.

Hi all. Well i just wanna say thank you in advance for any replies I hope to get. Well lemme get to the point. I'm the kind of guy that...err...well, I'm what you call the "nice guy" type. We finish LAST. Or not at all. I don't have much confidence in myself when it comes to girls. I've had girlfriends and many flings...but most of them were with the wrong type of girls. It seems that us "nice guys" types only attract the "bad girls." The ones that take advantage of us...worse yet we let them. So because of my experiences with girls and all the pain, I don't have much confidence in myself. Anyway...I'm pretty tired of feeling like this. And lately I've been taking the initiative on changing how I feel about myself and how I see things. Anyway...point is...I kinda have a crush on this girl that works at big 5 Sporting goods. I just think she's really cute and all...and I've seen her work there for months. I've just never really talked to her. I'd really like to however...and maybe even get to know her. I just don't know how to approach her. As you can see, I'm not experienced at this at all...and also I don't wanna make it seem like I'm some 7th grader asking for girl's numbers at the mall. Anyway...I'd just really like to meet her without making it all weird. Any suggestions? I'd really appreciate any input.

First I want to say thanks to whoever would reply. I'll greatly appreciate it. Well I'll try to make a long story short. During the sadies hawkin dance my freshmen year of high school, I fell in love with what you can say would be my best friend at the time. We went to different schools at the time but she invited me and it happened while I was dancing with her. Actually, I was probably just infatuated but it grew into love. Anyway, I eventually told her and it did affect out relationship. So by the time sophmore year hit, I was so afraid that I would lose her friendship that I actually moved to her school (which I hated at first but I found it to eventually become a good decision). I told everybody including her that I moved because I didn't like the school i attended but the truth was I moved to try and relinquish our friendship. Well my sophmore year went by and I learned that my relationship with her would never be the same anymore and that she wasn't interested in being any more then friends. At first she hinted there was a chance but I think in the end she didn't want it. So my last two years in high school, I moved on and lived with my decision of moving schools. I met new people, liked new girls, and dated. All in all, I loved my new school, but at the same time i was doing all these new things, my relationship with her drifted so far apart. We barely talked unlike before when we talked every day. She had two long relationship boyfriends during that time and it killed me but like i said I moved on. I even helped her get with one of them by giving the guy the push to ask her out. I loved her that much. I did stuff like that for her boyfriends MANY times because I wanted her to be happy. Well I just graduated. My senior year was the hardest when it came to her, because she came back off and on. What i mean by that is she would call me every now and then and we actually went to hang out. But it was rare. My problem is however, even though i've dated and liked other girls, nobody compared to her. Even though her and I haven'ted talked in weeks and seen each other in months, I feel as strongly as i did before for her. SOmetimes...out of no where, i'll think about her and cry. Not because I'm sad, but because i love her so much and I want so badly to get rid of that feeling. I want to stop feeling like there is a part of me missing and that without her I'm incomplete. I just want the feeling to stop so desparetly. I mean...its been 4 years! Most people would have gotten past it! LIke i said, I dated...i met new girls. We barely even talk! But the feeling has never gone away. And its not like I think about her everyday, I barely do. BUt when i Do...the feeling is back. And When I'm not, I know deep down somewhere I am because i feel empty. She doesn't know all this, but I fear if I tell her it will only drive her away for good. I know because one time, one of my friends accidetnly told her How i felt and she avoided me. I had to fix it by lying. Anybody have any suggestions? I know its a long post but I'm desperate for help because I just want to feel...better deep down. Thanks again...

Well...I am young and maybe I shouldn't be replying to this but I'm gonna give it a shot. First off, it sounds like your wife is taking on a lot. Being a teacher is stressful, I know that for sure because I use to give my teachers the STRESS!! Still do. What I am trying to get at is maybe all the new things in her life are making her less capable of doing what she use to do. Having a new child I know is definitely a big new thing for women. According to my young and idealistic beliefs, I'd tell you to try and put yourself in her shoes. Look at it from her point of view. Talk to her and communicate. Find out whats troubling her and what would make her feel better. Because even though I'm young, I know that if you can make your partner feel better and less relieve, they are bound to help make YOU feel better later one. I once heard this guy talking about how him and his wife stayed together for 65 years and they are still happy. He said a lot of couples do things figure they'd do things 50/50. And in their relationship they exchange their affections. Well he said that works but not all the time. That old guy and his wife, apparently they give each other 100%. So its not 50/50, its 100/100. If you give all of yourself to trying to make her happy, maybe she will respond by giving all of herself trying to make you happier. That includes making more of an effort to look better, sex, and what not. Well I hope my reply helped out at least a little. I know I'm young and my ideas maybe too IDEAL, but hey maybe sometimes it wouldn't hurt to try and be most idealistic about things like how when you were younger. =)

Well man, the first heartbreak is always the toughest. All I can tell you, whether you want to believe me or not, is that you WILL GET OVER THIS. And if need be, YOU WILL GET OVER HER. It sounds to me like she doesn't want a relationship anymore. You have to respect that. If you really DO love her, love her enough to let her go. Remember one thing though, you are 14 and your just beginning to learn about relationships with girls. If i'm right, your about to enter high school or already starting it. I just graduated and I'll tell you one thing, YOUR IN FOR THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE. I promise that by the time you get out, your going to think back and laugh at this. Your going to meet a LOT of different girls and your going to have a lot more heartbreaks and a lot more problems. But thats the fun part you see, because how boring would life be without problems that help you learn and grow? So my advice is first, look at the big picture. Maybe this girl wasn't for you. If she wasn't, that means you just gotta find the right one. I know for a fact that if it doesnt work out with you and this girl, your going to meet somone better who will probably make you happier. If your thinking you can't get past this in your head, I don't blame you. Because I remember when I was 14 and had my first heartbreak, I wouldn't listen to all that "Therea are a million more fish in the sea". But you know what, I learned that the saying was much more true then you'd know. Now about the other guy....if there is another guy then that means that she has moved on. You kicking that guy's ass is only gonna make it worse because I don't think she'll appreciate you kicking her new bf's ass. You won't only ruin your friendship with her, but you'll also be destroying any chance of you and her having any future relations. Just think about that. Well I hoped this help man. Good Luck with whatever happens next.

Man, its so creepy reading your post because I have been in your situation before. All I can tell you is that the first step is for you to have CONFIDENCE in yourself. It sounds like this girl is your source of confidence and somewhat happiness, and that is NEVER a good thing. I know you aren't a loser nor stupid, and I know because of how your dealing with your problem right now. One, you actually sought help and two, your willing to actually do something about it. A lot of people just sit there and cry when they have a problem, but your actually doing something about it. So first, learn to respect yourself. Secondly, as fas as this friend thing goes, just ask yourself one question. Do you think she sees you the same way you see her? I mean as far as friendship goes, does she feel as close to you as you feel to her? If not, then don't END the friendship with her, just stop viewing her in such a deep way. You should never end a friendship unless it was on a much higher plain of betrayal. My advice, it seems like she doesn't feel the same way about you. In a sense, demote her on your friend ranks. Instead of a best friend, make her a friend. Once you stop looking at her in such a high light then you'll feel better about the fact that she doesn't take the time to call or say hello to you. I also suspect that the reason this bothers you so much is that you still have feelings for this girl. Consider that in your thought process. Maybe the fact that she has turned you down before has caused you to express your romantic feelings for her in a friendly way. Just ask yourself, do you look at your other friends that are girls in the same way? Like...if one of your other friends didn't call you and stuff...would it bother you as much as this is bothering you now? If this is the case, then learn to detach yourself from this girl and realize that there really are "many other fish in the sea". I hope this helps. Good luck with whatever happens in the future.

Wow, thats a rough situation. I can understand your feelings as far as loving her even though she put you through all that. However, what you gotta remember is exactly what she DID put you through. It seems pretty clear to me that she's not exactly the faithful type when it comes to this other guy. Just ask yourself one thing, which would be more painful. Staying with this girl and risking yet another heartbreak through betrayal or moving on and going forward with life. I know its very painful to break up with this girl but just think of the emotions your going to be putting yourself through. If this girl is really unfaithful, your going to go through a lot of suspicion (Which you obviously already are) and just going through that suspicion is already a CONSTANT pain as long as you are with her. Compare that to maybe breaking up with this girl and suffering just a period of heartbreak. True, the heartbreak may last for a long while, but I think it'll be a lot less painful in the long run then staying with this girl longer. Plus, once you get over the heartbreak, you'll see the world in a whole new light. One last thing, even though this is your first REAL relationship, remember that it doesn't mean it'll be your last. I'm sure your young enough just like I am and that there will be years of meeting new people. You never know, you'd probably even meet a girl who will make you love her even more then this current one. Minus all the huge pain. Well I hope this helps you out buddy. Good Luck with whatever decision you make.

First off, I'd like to say thanx for replyin to my post. And man...I guess we ARE in simmilar situations. Well all I can tell you is exactly what you told me. FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT. If I were you, I'd find her and tell her exactly what was on my mind. I'm pretty sure its something along the lines of "That guy is a jerk and I know I could treat her a million times better." Tell her that...in words that are much more wooing(I dunno of thats a word so forgive me) though. And if things work out, make sure you guys re-establish that friendship before you get any more intimate. Because it sounds to me like you guys just jumped into each other when you guys got reaquainted. The friendship's gotta be strong before any real things can happen. However, if things don't work out, then maybe its not meant to be. DAmn I hate saying that because I'm scared to death right now of those 5 words. But I guess its just something you gotta accept and move on with life if that happens. But whatever does happen, just really fight for this girl if she means as much to you as you say. I mean..don't just give up if she says something like "I can't live without him" or something. Show her that he's not the one for her and that she can do way better. And hopefully that guy will be you. Well I hope this helps man. I'll be prayin for both of us...dude. Good Luck with whatever you do.

Hi, I just wanted to say thanx to in advance once again to whoever responds. Well I posted earlier about my situation with my best friend. Basically, I finally told her how I felt after a long time of keeping my feelings a secret. She has a boyfriend, but I had to tell her anyway because pretending to not like her and keeping to myself was killing me. I know it wasn't too bright considering she has a boyfriend but I thought that if I kept it in anymore it would tear me inside out. Well after telling her how I felt, I made it clear to her that I wasn't telling her to pursue her or anything. I was just telling her to let off a big thing that was weighing down my chest. I also told her that I was going to be okay as long as she's happy with whomever; even if its not me. She under stood and she was very open and talkative about it. She told me that we would always be friends and that we'll get through this no matter what. Well in the end, we decided it would be best if we got some space from each other. Actually, I suggested it because I knew she would feel awkward after I told her. She even told me that this was the first time she has ever felt awkward with me. And we both agreed that since she felt awkward; that after an undertermined amount of time passed, she would gimme a call when things calmed down more. Now to get to my troubles, I'm just extremely scared that she'll take a really long time to ever call me. You see, I have a tendency to be somewhat negative about things. In my experience, if people don't talk for say...6 months, it tends to ruin the closeness of the friendship. And the worse part is that I know my best friend, she is an extremely busy girl and she puts off things. I'm afraid she'll forget...and if she does forget about me then that would mean all the closeness was never real. I had to deal with a lot of loss this year (death of an extremely close family member, loss of friends through betrayal, father abandoned me), and I just don't know how or if I could ever deal with a loss this huge once again. On the hopeful side, in our conversation she made it clear that "we would get through this" and that "we would never stop being best friends" and "this isn't the end of our friendship." Those are exact quotes from her. But the thing is, as I have mentioned above, she has a tendency to run away from things by putting things off which bother her. And...she may very well forget. Like I said, I don't know if I could handle something like that. And in my eyes, if that were to happen I'd view it as yet another illusional and fake friendship in my life. That...maybe the final thing to scar me for life. Worse yet, I forgot to mention I don't deal with big problems like this very well. You see, I use to be suicidal. I'm currently taking the anti-depressant "Paxil" and its helped greatly. It really clears up my mind to help me think better. However, I do have my relaspes and I'm afraid if this were to happen that I would have another very HUGE one. I guess a part says that its only been three days since I've told her and that I shouldn't jump to conclusions unless it happens. But the other part of me says that it may very well happen considering her personality and I don't even know how long is too long. I'm very confused, very worried, and very sad. I take that back, I'm EXTREMELY confused on what to think. The one thing that I do know however is that we are extremely close as friends. We literally know each other like the back of our hands and if you met both of our personalities, you'd definitely see traits of the other person in both of us. Well I definitely need input so if anyone would kindly give me their opinion, I'll greatly appreciate it. Thanks once again in advance. I look forward to any responses I can get.

First off I'd like to say thank you in advance to anyone that replies to me. I recently told my best friend that I had feelings for her. Just to give you an idea about our our situation, I'd like to give a little bit of background information. Well basically I've gone to school with this girl since kindergarden. However, I never actually talked to her until Freshmen year. During freshmen year, we became the best of friends and extremely close. Eventually I found out from many friends that she had strong feelings for me. At the time that didn't work out because I was so in love with this other girl. I felt really bad because sometimes she cried when I talked about that other girl, but I never knew it was because she felt that way for me. When I found out however we talked about it and agreed to just be friends. In no time later on, she found someone else and I was extremely happy for her. Well I just graduated from high school now, and the ironic has happened. So three years later, it would seem I have fallen for her. Actually I fell for her a while back during school, but I was always in denial about it. We have talked before about how we both regret that nothing happened between us before, but we also agreed that we were honestly too immature at the time to understand any real meaning of a relationship; so maybe it was a good thing. Well now she is in a relationship with a different guy then she was with before. She's been with him for about a year now, but recently I decided I had to tell her how I felt. I know this didn't seem like too bright of an idea since she's in a relationship, but I did it for myself because I did not want to pretend to not have any feelings for her when I talk to her or go out with her. In fact, all that pretending has been killing me. The worse part would be when she'd call me a lot to tell me about her problems with her boyfriend. And she'd ask me questions like "Do you think *** and I are really in love? Because I'm not sure" and questions somewhere on the line of "Should I stay with him?" It really put me in an awkward position because in my head I was saying "YEAH!! Be with me!" but in my heart I love her too much to do that so I'd give her the best advice I could without being biased to myself. And I've done that countless times over the past 2 years. I told her that I wasn't telling her to pursue her, and the only reason I did it was to let something that has been stressing me out off my chest. I also told her that even though she was with that guy, that I wasn't hurt and that I would be happy as long as she's happy; even if its not with me. We eventually agreed that it would be best to have space for both of us at the momen and when she was ready she'd give me a call. Since honestly, because of the new information, there is awkwardness that wasnt there before. She told me that even though we were gonna have this time apart, that we would always be best friends because our friendship is too strong to have something like this come between us. So we said our goodbyes until that day. Okay to finally get to my problem, well you can see that I've lost a very important person to me for a while. Talking to her was honestly sometimes the only good part of my day. I'm not sure how to deal with this now. I'm not sure how long to wait and I'm scared she may never call. Just a lot of fears and I'm really unsure how to take this. I know this was a really long post but I had to make sure whoever would respond knew the situation precisely so there would be no mistakes. Thanks again. Please give me any suggestions, They'll be greatly appreciated.