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hmmm, wish you could talk some sense into my girlfriend. She is going the same way, although she doesn't want to let me go. Hindsight is always 20/20. You ***ed up, NEVER do that again! I believe that you prolly don't need me saying that, it seems that you are already there. Maybe you just hurt him super bad. You will prolly have to win back every emotion you were given so freely. Be his friend first though. Talk when it is time. Just be there for him. Best of luck!

Let go. Romance, love, sex, it's always a dance. It's all back and forward, back and forward. When your love pulls back, then back again and you are still moving forward, it's no longer a dance, it's a chase. And what do people do when we chase after their affection? They run. I imagine your love is prepared for the chase to continue, and if I'm right it makes them feel guilty. How often does guilt buy love and attraction? Not often. I've never seen it. Have you? If anything will work at all it is to let go. Not let go and sit home and suffer, but let go and go have a blast every day. This may sound impossible. But if your love is strong enough, if your goal of winning them back is compelling enough; you can do anything you have to do. Letting go and having a blast strengthens your position several ways. One girl told me, "But I can't have fun while I'm picturing them together!" Good point. Quit picturing things that hurt. Have three things you love to think about and three things you love to do in mind and handy at all times. When the picture starts, treat it like an alarm clock telling you to "Right now this very minute, think and do something else fun!" The first few times will be a little difficult, after that it's easier. Finally, last but not least ask yourself these hard questions. Do I really love this person? Really? Do I love them enough to let them go? Do I love them enough to let go and have fun today and tomorrow and the days after that? Or is my love so selfish that I can only be happy if they're here serving my emotional needs no matter how much they may not want to right now? Feeling like you're losing someone you love can be rough. It demands hard questions be answered. Serious decisions must be made. You're stronger than you realize. You can do whatever you need do to make your life healthier and happier if you choose to. Give it some thought, time and prayer and then choose.

Sorry so long, but, My girlfriend and I have been trying to be friends and we have been talking about alot of things. Sun night I called her and told her that I had totally lost faith in any chance of ever reconciling. She asked me "then why are we even doing this?" I then said that she would know when she lost me and that I would still marry her tomorrow. We had a great conversation after that and we were hanging out what was to be thurs but instead she asked if we could hang out on mon. I said ok! I went to her house and when i got there, we immediately went to her beedrom and made out and other things. We went out to dinner after that and she said during the course of it that if it weren't for her sexuality issues I said that was fine, whatever she needed to do to find herself. I said I wanted to be a true friend. We went to the movies after that and i kissed her and she wiped them off of her face and pulled her hands away when i tried to hold them. I decided to take a stand then, after the movie, i took her outside where no one could listen and said you have no right to treat me like shit, no right to wipe off kisses that meant so much, i said that if anything ever happened like that again that i would never hang out with her anymore and that if she didnt believe me, then try it again, i dared her. She then said "fine, we will never talk again." I started to walk away and then she started making excuses saying that my face was sweaty and that, she didn't realize it. We didnt talk the whole way home and when i got out, i said "you just dont have the right to be mean to me, we are trying to be friends, i would do that to any friend, wished her a safe trip home then left. We talked later that night and she said that everytime i am angry that she really hates me. I told her that i just felt that i should stand up for myself. I said we were on a good path with friendship, she agreed and said that everything was fine. Tonight i call her and she tells me that she ws so angry about me getting mad on mon that she booked an interview with a local outcall agancy and that she was going to be a dominatrix, she also informed me that she had a date with a girl this fri night. she says she wants to be friends and that she wants to be intimate with me but that she doesn't want to be if it hurts me. she says it will be interesting how we turn out and was surprised with even all of that, i wished her well on her date and with her interview. i love her so much, she is tring to find herself right now, but will not let me go, does she need a wake up call? oblivously, yes! how? is all hope lost? she always calls me when i call her, we talk for hours when we do talk, even this bad conversation was a 2 1/2 hour talk. i know she knows that i am wrapped around her finger, i told her she loves me, she niether claimed to or deny it. she said she would be open to an "open relationship", she just said there were too many feelings involved now and that she didnt know if she could do that. i have been wanting us to be together for awhile, i came back to her on May 1. We have been going back and forth every night for almost 3 months. do i just ignore her for now? does she appreciate the true friendship i am offering, is there even a chance, any and all advice would be so appreciated! She is 23 years old and I am 30. Thanks and God Bless!

Yes, I have really had the time to do soulsearching in this case, it tears me apart every day. If I could just get one more chance with her, one more time to appreciate her like I do now. Those are the stakes involved her, huge stakes, this IS the one. I have never had a regret like this. We did stay in contact though. Throughout the whole thing. I didn't talk to her for about 4 days. I was just...I knew that the level of our relationship when she told me had went up 1000 times in the matter of a 15 minute conversation. I do hope and will wait for that chance now. She will never regret it!

Hi, Yes I miss my ex alot, wish I had not had treated her like I didn't care and took her for granted, we all have regrets, especially in life, yes.

yeah, My gf is on a self imposed break too. It sucks, I think about her every second. It feels like sh*t. Are you guys still technically engaged or are you not together? My gf ...i dunno, she is listening to her friends and being influinced by them which is even worse. We will get through it, whatever it may be though, just be strong.

hey, yes I was the one that got her pregnant, i actually called it quits in jan, but realized how much she meant to me, so I came back. I miss her so much. I had told her I needed my space at the time, she has commented that the roles are reversed now. When she was pregnant, it really freaked me out. i said a stupid, stupid thing, i told her i was not going to marry her. i have since acknowledged and apologized for that since.

Hi, New Years Eve 2001, I met a wonderful girl, we dated all of last year. We fell in love and had our fair share of tough times, she got pregnant last Sept. Feelings of emotions, etc. I didn't really appreciate her in this time and took her for granted as well. We broke it off in Jan. We didn't talk for a couple of months and then, in March I saw her at a club and we went home together. After that, we started talking again, being intimate, etc. In May, I told her I was still in love with her and we started to work things out, talking every day>about 3 hours a night. She has been hanging out with a gay guy and he has been telling her, "your too young to settle down", "why are you with him", etc. She is 22 and I am 30 yo. He has been influincing her to the point that she is telling me she wants to be with other girls and needs time to work things out in her head, she says "there is something missing in my life" and she needs to find out what it is. She is doing things now that she never used to do, rool her eyes, sometimes when I kiss her, she wipes them off, we had a very emotional "break" a couple of weeks ago and she called me back 3 days later saying she misses me, sometimes she wants to date, sometimes she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, it seems like I have given her all of the power in this relationship and she is ego tripping very much. We took another break on the 4th of july and i called her mon and she says it would be better if we just werent together, i pleaded for us to find some sort of middle groung and she agreed that she would hate not seeing me, talking to me, being intimate with me, etc. I suggested we work on our friendship now and she has agreed, am i just spineless? I do think she needs to realize what she may lose here, but find it very hard severing ties right now. She is super insecure about her weight and appearance, when we started going out, it took her 3 months to take her skirt off, she would use it to hide her belly, i have seen her off and on for a year now and have never seen her nude. I told her i wanted to marry her and she said everyone who had ever been with her had said that. how mean! She has said that things are so good with us that she would prolly eventually come back and try to work things out. She wrote a poem too, when she said mon we would be better off without each other: Wanting what you can't have Having nothing you want Mourning for you for what could have been Murdering feelings Fictitious excuses For what Selfish reasons Selfish feelings You are everything that I wanted But the time wasn't right Time didn't want it Set free From all this negativity You will be so happy without me... ...please help!!! even if she did want to come back, it would be hard to think that she wouldnt change her mind next week.

I hate to say it, but you should leave it alone, if she did this to her boyfriend, she will prolly do the same thing to you eventually. Have respect for her boyfriend now anyways, it's good karma.

Hi all, Just a question, in your views and experiences, how often do people realize that they left a good thing and come back? 50%, 60, 75% of the time? I have been in 2 relationships and once, did a girl come back to me. I am just ending a third, after 2 months of us talking 2 hours a night, hanging out and she wanting to date again, a week later she is done with me, a 22 yo virgo girl. We were together for 1 year and 7 months total. What is the percentage of hope? How long should I wait for her? is this summer fever on her part?

Amen, Girls suck sometimes and games are waaay too much in play sometimes. Although they will never admit it. You do want her back for the right reasons though and not the wrong ones, make sure she is being true to herself and to you.

Hi, Time depends on the intensity of the relationship and your last conversation. You don't necessarily have to call her, show up somewhere that you know she will be, don't stalk the girl, just let her know you are till around. Sometimes contact after the fact produces "knee jerk" reactions in a way, either good or bad...sometimes they are good, go with your heart, man -peace

Maybe you guys need time to realize things anyway and if she does love you, which I am sure she does, maybe she will "find herself" more quickly knowing that you are strong enough to possibly go on without her. People never realize what they have until they are gone, I do have a feeling you will eventually hear from her, you have too, most of the time people just don't stop seeing each other and cease all contact, everything is a process, but that tunnel vision that we get sometimes is just a real bitch. Talk to your friends and be happy, she is prolly thinking about you as much as you are her. -Cheer Up!

Hey, I'm in the same situation. I just believe so much that there is something there and then to just have her not see what I see, my gf is 22 though and I am 30. I know she needs to find herself I just wish I could go into the future and see how things were going to go. Hm

Hi, Thanks alot! I know in my heart that now is the time to just give her time, because still, with every conversation, she calls me hon and is super nice and she does talk about the future, then she gives me no hope, like she is feeling me out and then when she knows I am still steadfast with us, she drops the hammer down. We are still leaving things open which is good. I just want to keep things open like they are now and not push her away any more than she already is. I do believe we are meant to be together, she acknowloges that we have had past lives together. Am I reading this right?

Hi Everyone, I met a girl New Years Eve 2 years ago. We met and started hanging out. We were both shy and a friend finally said, "you guys kiss each other for petes sake." After that we started off what was a very strong relationship. We had some rocky times but had some really good ones as well. We were together from Jan last year till Jan this year when we said that we needed to go our separate ways. I am 30 and she is only 22. She is very insecure to the point of when we started having sex, she wore her skirt up around her belly for like 4 months. I have never seen her completely nude. We didn't really talk for awhile and then this March, we saw each other at a club and started seeing each other since about once a week, usually just to hang out and have casual sex. I took advantage of her when we were together, just by being insensitive and by not really giving her that much because I was scared. Well, a month and a half ago, I told her that I realized that I screwed up and that I was so in love with her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She was very happy about it and was willing to "go with the flow" and see what happens. Her best friend has told me that we just need to talk about things and everything will be ok, that she still cares for me, etc. Although for the past 2 weeks, I have been fawning over her to the point that I have just told her everything my heart is feeling, perhaps too much. and in return, she has said that she needs her own space to figure things out and that even though she has feeligs of love and a relationship, she also has alot of caution as well. We have talked every day since I have told her how I really feel. She says that we should leave a door open for the future but just wants to be by herself right now. Have I poured it on too thick, should I leave her alone? She is now making excuses not to see me and I have done nothing but tell her how much I absolutely love her. I think one thing that may have triggered this is the fact that we thought she may have gotten pregnant a month ago and she said she realized that she wanted no commitment at all, she wanted and needed to "work things out" with herself. She says she has never left the door open with any other relationship. She is a virgo and I am a leo. Will she come back based off of what I have said or is it truly over? What can I do to win her back. She seems very confused....and so am I now. Although in my heart I have a fierce optimism.