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ElegantOverkill

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  1. ElegantOverkill
    its been 6 months now since she broke up with me. i am still having a hard time with it. i had a set back last night when i saw her out with some other guy. now i am tore up again! lol i was doing good and then that crap happens! i just need some words of encouragement right now. i miss her soo much sometimes, but i know that we are over. i just miss her. she was my best friend.
  2. ElegantOverkill
    that was a great post blender! i will use this logic in my life aswell. good job.
  3. ElegantOverkill
    i know what you mean. yes its tough but i think that you have to get i with a group of people and sociolize a bit and you will find that there are a ton of people like you and me. try the astronomy thing you may just surprise yourself. i did the same thing a few years back. i got into a police class and that is where i met my last gf. go out on that limb! lol we are out there, or trying and kicking our self to get out there. look at it this way.. if you, me, and everyone else who has our somewhat shy personalitys never took the chance to try something new we would all be sitting here just talking about it on the internet and we would never meet.
  4. ElegantOverkill
    i know the feeling! its hard to motivate yourself into meeting new people... i think you need to step out of your comfort zone and try to go out, or pick up a new hobby. and do you have to drop out of your university? these are the things that are helping me. i too am a bit introverted but sometimes you need to go out on that limb and try something new. hang in there i know how you feel but be strong and things will get better.
  5. ElegantOverkill
    yep i believe that moving and going back to college will help me tons.. and yes i too have trouble moving on from relationships. i put soo much into them that if they go bad i dwell on it for a long time! and yes this is the hardest thing i have ever been through and i know there are harder times in life but it has been tough because i made her my best friend, and girlfriend and that was about it. i was soo consumed in her that i never made time to make new friends (i was kinda new to the area when i met her) so when we broke up i lost my best friend. so yeah it has been bad on me because her friends were my friends and now there is no one. lol thats why i was out with my mom and sister on a fri. night. at least i still have them!
  6. ElegantOverkill
    i am a little bit of both... i do miss and i will be the first to admit i am a tad jealous. and i almost feel as if i am being punished in some strange way because i have not moved on. the thing is that i have been avoiding seeing her. we live very close to eachother in a small town. and i went to another town 30 mins away tonight just so there would be no chance to see her.. thats the funny thing about it. it feels like there is nothing i can do to not see her. i was very much attached and i am still in pain over this. it is soo bad that i am looking to relocate to a different state here soon and go back to college.
  7. ElegantOverkill
    i was out eating with my mother and sister tonight and of course who walked through the door? my ex gf with some guy. we have been broken up for almost 6 months now and it was a bit of a messy break up and i was still very much in love with her and having a hard time moving on. up until last week it was difficult but something in me changed and this week had been great, now this happened and i feel as if im back to square one! man! i was doing good and i had to see this! please any input would be great.... i just need some help to get through this tough time.... thank you.
  8. ElegantOverkill
    i am feeling the same thing too... its been almost 5 months since my ex gf broke up with me. i am still stuck on her for the moment and having a bit of a hard time with it but i have no desire to "give" to anyone but me at this time. i just wish i could seem to get on with it cause its been 5 months now and im getting kinda pissed because its taking a long time to get over her.
  9. ElegantOverkill
    im soo sorry for you right now man.... i was in the same boat but not as sever as your situation. the best advice i could give to you would be and i know its hard but do the things to improve yourself for YOU not her! because its your life not hers. do not talk to her start NC now! yes it was a crappy thing she did to you and i know how it feels when you put your whole life into someone. i was dumped and i felt so alone because she was my life and she was the only thing in my life. dont get down on yourself i know its hard now and it will be for a little while, but improve yourself for yourself and it WILL get better. im here to talk and if you need any advice feel free to pm me.
  10. ElegantOverkill
    i agree with you juliana. lol when we broke up i was ok with it and then shortly after i started having a ton of fam. probs and other little things that made me act close to crazy! because i felt i had noone to turn to for help because she was gone! in time i know things will get better between us and i am going to be very patent.
  11. ElegantOverkill
    lol i think my stuff takes the cake. i got so clingy and desperate that after it was all said and done my ex had changed her cell # and now she wont talk to me or respond to e-mails. it has made me feel like crap at times knowing that i pushed someone to that point but i have let it go and one day im sure i will be out and run into her somewhere and by that time she will see the improvement in me and all the crap that happened wont matter. if you know in your heart that you did some crap and you can admit to yourself that it was goofy of you at the time and you are a good person thats all that matters. we all live and learn. hope this helps some.
  12. ElegantOverkill
    give me some info on the breakup. did you break up with her?
  13. ElegantOverkill
    ok i have an answer for you! lol the reason i am single now is because of a situation like yours. my ex is a bit older than me she is 27 i am 24 and she is out of college and has a good job. she urged me to make a better life for myself and to take control of my personal problems. well we dated for about 2 1/2 years and she confronted me about my lack of motivation about 6 months before she broke up with me. i never paid to much attention to the ultimatum and she saw that and ended it. i have now took steps in my life to better myself and i have a good career ahead of me. at the time i could care less about it i did not like the fact that she was telling me i had to change and i would get pissed about it. and now that we are no longer i miss her to death and i am kicking myself over it. the point is this..... if you know in your heart that he will never change for you or to better himself and that his lifestyle is the only thing that would keep you from loving him then sit him down and tell him that you are going leave him over this and never come back. mind you keep your cool when doing this but be firm and let him know that you wont stand for it. i wish that i was aproached like that because i may have took is a different way and acually done something about it. now i am kicking myself over my ex love because she left me over it. i hope this helps like i said this guy is in a situation just like i was in.... if you need advice over what he may be thinking feel free to ask before you pull the trigger. i wish you luck with it!
  14. ElegantOverkill
    thanks for the response kat. its good to hear from the dumpers side of things. i do believe that in the long run its best for us to be apart because you cant have a one sided relationship and make it work. it sucks because i am just plain lonely at this time. i cant be too down on myself about it because i know in my heart that i did the best that i could with what i had. yes it will take time and yes i will learn to love and trust again. i want to thank everyone for all of your support. and i want to wish everyone the best and to stay strong!
  15. ElegantOverkill
    I will get right to the point. me and my ex have been broke up for almost 4 months now and i am still having a hard time with it. i have tried NC and everything else and it is still killing me! deep down i want her back in my life, but i know in my heart that she will never give it another shot. Our relationship was not a bad one. We got along well, there was no cheating, and we could talk about anything with each other. The reason we broke up is that we were just "two different people" and she was starting a career and could not keep a relationship going. she told me the night we broke up that she was not looking to get into another one anytime soon and that "if i cant have you i dont want anyone else" and she was the one who broke up with me. lol i dont get it because she has since told me we would never get back together. I just dont get how some people can just up and leave your life like that. i am willing to work it out and try to make something of it but she wants no part in it. I was a great person to her and it sucks when you give your heart to someone and it seems as if it only takes about a week for them to get over you. i just cant seem to let her go and would do anything to make it work. any thoughts would be appreciated and thank you in advance.
  16. ElegantOverkill
    i would say to you to not butter her up anymore with apologies. and dont try to call her for a few days. let this smooth over and focus on your family for the moment. as far as your relationship with her goes.... you need to tell her to stop treating you like a yo yo and make up her mind! it sounds like she can treat you like total crap one sec then turn around and say she is sorry and your back to her. i know its tough when you are in love with someone but you need to get a little stronger with her. see what happened? she can turn you down as much as she wants then say shes sorry and your back no problem. she then pissed you off and you snapped at her, you should be the one getting apologies at this point for her messing with your emotions like that. i hope this helps and good luck
  17. ElegantOverkill
    i am glad to hear that it went well for you. in fact i broke NC tonight as well. i went over to her house and talked to her mom and dad till she got home. i was feeling bad with NC and it may hurt me in the long run but i let her know that i still care and maybe one day! as far as you go danman..... try not to bring up the relationship and be sure and stay positive in your words. let her know that you are motivated! lack of motivation is the reson i am single now! and be sure and take steps to better your life, get motivated, try to find a job and then you should be golden! i hope this helps some.
  18. ElegantOverkill
    thanks for the input there g44. i have done everything in my power to let her know this. i may have said too much and pushed her away just a bit, but its out there and she knows its just up to her to find her love for me again. unfortunately i believe it is over and i am just hanging on to false hope. i am trying NC to move on with my life but it hard on me right now and its going on 4 months now since the breakup. it just sucks and there is just a hand full of things in this world that hurt more than when someone tells you that they fell out of love with you.
  19. ElegantOverkill
    thanks for the reply. reading some of your past posts i respect your ability to handle these situations. i must say the spark did go away and we became almost good friends. and that is why her last relationship failed. its sad because i was willing to work through it and try again to see if we could spark it up again and she was dead set that we were over. i still care deeply for her and i am willing to at least try for a 2nd chance. unfortunately you cant change how the other person feels about you and i accept that but i wish she could see it from my angle and at least try. dont get me wrong i would never want someone to be with me just to make me happy, its just that i see soo much potential that we could have a good life together. after we broke up she told me "if i cant have you i dont want anyone" and she is not looking for another relationship at the moment because she is starting her career as a teacher and she has no time for a relationship. i respect her and her views, but i am not waiting around for anything to happen between us. i just want her to be happy but at the same time i want her in my life forever. am i being too selfish with this?
  20. ElegantOverkill
    first off i would like to say thank you to all of the people on this site. i have found soo much comfort in reading all of your advice over the years. i am a new member but have been lurking for quite some time now. anyway im posting to just vent over my situation. my ex and i dated for 2 1/2 years and she broke it off a little over 3 months ago. i am at the point now where i know its over and there is nothing i can do or say to change that. it was true love in the beginning and at one point she thought i was the one she wanted to merry. the thing with our relationship is that it just never grew, it got to a high point and not that it went downhill it just didnt go further. and the thing is we did not argue that much and nothing was ever done to KILL the relationship. i guess we just got too comfortable thats the best way i could put it. but i miss what we had and i am very sad over the whole thing. i would love to be with this person and right now i dont want to even think about getting into something new with someone else. anyway i am just venting and thank you for your time.
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