Dilly
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Everything posted by Dilly
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I congratulate you on your bravery and courage. You are not alone. I wish you the best for this pregnancy. I, too, am pregnant and in a situation that is not desirable. I am not sure what to do with the man that I love who is the father. I sure hope that I figure it out soon. I go from not considering abortion at all to thinking it's a no-brainer. Some people say you can save a lot of pain by breaking things off early. I'm not so sure I disagree.
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Yeah, and the super sad thing is that he probably would get DT's if he didn't drink if he's almost always on the bottle. I'm sorry you're going through this, BTR. I think you should do whatever keeps you calm. Have a nice night.
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My honest take is that she feels underappreciated and undesired by you. She is doing all the work, she feels while you put all your energy elsewhere. She is probably also insecure and you seem a little put off by her. I don't know what to tell you - you're either ready or not. She's definitely interested in a bigger committment from you and you are still volunteering. What are you trying to do, go to med school? Is anything going on on the side? Are you leaving options open for other women? Seriously, do you hold out hope for other women, anyone in particular right now? If not, then you might console her and give her special time each week. She's ready to step it up. If you are not, she'll probably end up resenting you for it. I think the control word gets tossed around too much. I don't like that buzzword. She's expressing a need. You are being wishy washy. Tell her you'll address it again in three months.
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I agree, I think it's totally up to you to make the first step to tell your dad but if he doesn't follow through, it's not your fault. You tried. He can pull it together to offer two hours of lucid sobriety, right? I also agree that funerals arae for those left behind. If you do decide to go, focus on trying to rebuild the spirit of your grandmother with others present. Her memory will be strong in the hearts of all.
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Good luck on getting child support. Sure hope he makes enough money to go around to all. What a mess. I wish you a very easy pregnancy.
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Hey there! I am also happy that you are working things out with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes, they can be absolutely heroic. My ex-husband has remained a good friend to me, but we are just that, friends. He is very supportive and kind and fortunately, married. I used to feel so confused by his kindness and support that I felt obligated to be more committed. Now, as friends with the boundary of marriage, I feel our relationship is more pure. I would never want anything more with my ex because ... well he is married. The vow of marriage is something I will not violate, but something that only the married can soil. I've been there though. I fell for a man in the military who told me he was single. Went head over heals for him and then, learned the ugly truth. I did leave him alone, but other girls did not. He was a playboy. I'm also pregnant and may face motherhood alone. I hope you know you have us here to keep you company and that we do care about you. We all want the best for you and your baby and for your lover's wife and child. Please understand that the more women that respect the sanctity of marriage, the less likely for these creeps to crawl in the darkness and scum. Try really to understand that you're helping women like yourself by refusing to participate in the destruction of marriage. I hope you are not offended, but liberated with the knowledge that your refusal to participate in these illicit affairs will in minute ways help other women have secure relationships.
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Yes I have. I gave up the opportunity to live in a nice home with running city water, separate kitchen and bathroom, and just all the modern amenities of the western world to be with a man who insists on living in his creation, an artistically fascinating place that resembles a castle. Now, I'm pregnant and he insists that I build a house there and thereby continue to be isolated, commuting 50-60 minutes each way per day, and living with him in his dream world. I really am so confused. I think I love him, but now I'm just not sure, if only because he expects me to sacrifice so much!
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Yes, that is pretty cool about you and R. I really hope he keeps it together. I think he loves you as much as he can. R-drugs=good thing. Your dad probably loves you too, but guilt can prevent people from making long-awaited contact with those they love, especially when they haven't changed their bad habits. GOOD LUCK, DEARIE!!
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I doubt he even believes his own stories and may enjoy manipulating you into thinking he's using this type of logic, when deep down, he's just trying to get you to bite, to pitch in some sound advice when he has always refused it in the past. You keep reasoning with him and he probably gets high off of your attempts to get him to understand. But then again, is he really that lame? I just wonder. Borderline personality types are not able to accept blame or rationalize their own actions. They are victims and everyone else is to blame. They demonstrate no effort at introspection and if this truly him, WATCH OUT!!! You'll never be on the same team.
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I also like the prescription ones and will likely go with generic. Only ten days to go before the big doctor visit!!!
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Sounds pretty typical! I think you're family is having some growing pains. Congratulations on being a daddy! You sound like a very responsible man!!!
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I agree with the above posts! I wonder if each of your friends (BTR and SouthernGIRL) were envious and if your pregnancy may have made them realize how they would like to have another child. I see each of my family members getting pregnant within the next year, mainly because we're all old and have been postponing it for so long. Anyway, I wouldn't let her talk trash to you anymore, BTR. Draw the line again and let her know you don't want to hear anything else derogatory about your baby's father. Hang in there!
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I'm so sad for you that he's being such a butt! I wish he would look you in the eye and just say it's over. I wouldn't be able to let a day go by without getting closure on that.
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This is so wonderful! Congratulation!!!
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I hate the fact that you are struggling with this. It's hard to believe they wouldn't do one yesterday. Did they give you a timeframe at all? I hear many places do the US at 8 weeks and then, again at 5 months (20 weeks). But each place is different. I'm on the same prenatal. I am on samples for a week though so they are free.
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Hey BTR, I went to Planned Parenthood when I was considering abortion and they did one for $110 out of pocket. I consider that worth it for the information you get. BUt check in first.
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That's nice he wants to go. I feel no matter what the situation is between father and child (unless it's abuse), the child should be involved in the lives of both parents and be able to gleen special love from each. I'm glad for you that you are a highlight of his life. I'm glad also that you are like an angel to him, someone he can really look up to in these trying times. Keep it together, Love!!!
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I knew a girl who was bulemic and she refused to eat while pregnant. She eventually had to take an IV bag with dextrose and nutrients home with her and infuse it regularly. She scoffed at the idea that women gained 25 pounds and by the time she was fully pregnant, she had only gained 15 pounds. However, the baby was healthy and arrived on time. It was a bit low-birth small at 6" and 6 ounces, but I gather it went surprizingly well for her. I think 5 pounds is OK during the first trimester, no more, no less and about 10-15 during the second. I really don't think you want to gain less than 19 pounds during the pregnancy.