hazel eyes

flirt around, give him your undivided attention, drop him subtle hints that you like him...the opportunities will come and you will see them, you just have to take advantage of the situation. for example, if there is a movie coming out you both want to see, say oh we should go together, i know no one else will want to come to see that movie with me. you both will go just as friends but it will open the doors to the bonding that can lead into other things. if you want to be a little more bold, start asking him questions about ex gf's, what he likes now...stuff like that.

A friend and I just returned from a spring break trip. He is a transfer student and I opened up my circle of friends to him, i would call him and invite him out with us every weekend, he called me like every night and we talked for hours. We planned spring break with a group of MY close friends but they all decided not to go. I really wanted to go and so did he. So we still planned it, his sister and her bf, and his good guy friend also went. Little did I know he would act like we weren't that cool, he would leave me behind and forget about telling me where they were going and so on. At night he was too busy trying to get ass that he payed me no mind. Now the tricky part is that we had an attraction to each other, and he told me had no gf so we started messing around. We slept together on a drunken night, but we acted like nothing happened. During SB, same thing happened we slept together on like the 2nd day of being there. i didnt want it to happen where we acted like nothing but i forgot that i was only being used. oops, stupid me. so i confronted him and he told me 'what did you expect?' ouch, slap in the face from a friend. then he went on to sleep with another chick and they were together the whole tirp. funny thing is i was not jealous i was furious at everything else. I already came to terms that i was just another stupid girl he ***ed. i was dumb and that was my own fault. on another night i woke up to him kissing me, the same night we all saw him going into the girl's room, yuck! I WAS SOOO DISGUSTED by this, that i just pushed him away. But did he really think things would be back to the same thing once we got back to US soil? well, he keeps calling me and i dont return his phone calls becuz the disrespect he showed me, after my open arms tactics w/ him and the inconsideration and he lied , he had a gf the whole time, he slept with me and some other girl, i realized how dirty he is. i really thought ok we are falling into temptation but i didnt know he was falling into 'temptation' with all these other people. what a fool i was, well i decided not to be a fool no longer...should i give it to him? return his call? talk to him in person? he's already forgiven but some friends tell me he really might need someone to burst his bubble or bring him to reality of the wrong he did, and other say GIVE IT TO HIM! while others say dont waste your time.

i'm sorry but i think he still looks at it.... although at least he is being considerate and not letting you see it anymore. Porn to me feels like cheating, he is looking at naked women...to me its the same thing as a women infront of him standing there naked. oh wait it is the same thing. he cant touch and cant have her, but would you still let him have a woman standing there in the room naked touching herself? same thing with strip clubs. If he has you he shouldn't need the porn but unfortunately they will always say 'we are guys, we cant help it.' same thing a man that cheats on his woman says...

Me and this guy have been friends for about a year now, and well we met through an organization at school, at first we didnt really pay any mind to each other, than we had classes together so we became closer. There was physical attraction so we messed around, and on a drunken night had sex (not an excuse, but it sure made me want it really bad). Then we would act as if nothing happened but once we were alone again and after a few drinks we were making out again. We had sex again one night after a party at his house. I've never had just a fling or had sex with a random guy so it wasnt the most comfortable situation but i didnt know how to stop. i lost the self control i've had for the first 20 yrs of my life. So it was the type of situation where we would tell each other we have to stop doing this. Then we made plans for a spring break trip, most of my tight group of friends opted not to go. He was still down, but he was bringing his sister, her bf, and his guy friend. I get along with whoever so it was cool. then we get there and everything changed. He would ignore me, forget i was there, he was too busy trying to keep up with this fake image of being too cool. Needless to say one of the nights there we were drunk and we had sex again. i was half asleep it was pretty bad, i even cried afterwards and threw up the next morning...i told myself that i wouldnt let myself do that disgusting act ever again. once again he acted like nothing happened and he went after another girl and eventually had sex with her. this is a fact since he told one of our guy friends once we got back. So i was nothing to him, he had no consideration for me, but now he wont stop calling me. i dont return his calls or talk to him now because he treated me like shit and i dont need a 'friend' like that. but he keeps saying lets talk about it and acting like he feels bad about it, but he called me and said in a message 'whatever i did must've been ***ed up and i'm sorry' haha, so he doesnt even know that sleeping with many girls and ignoring your friends is something you dont do. furthermore even when we hadnt slept with each other we were flirting and all that and he told me that he didnt have a gf, turns out he does. so he's a lying backstabbing dog. should i give him a chance to explain (I dunno how anyone can explain all that) and talk to him? in person? phone?

It's obvious that she likes you...even if she won't admit it she is mad at your inconsideration of mentioning her friend as your next endeavor.

I agree that it takes a lifetime to really love someone, afterall love is so grand right? But to not tell your gf that you love her, even if you do....sounds selfish....in a way. It will definitely have an effect on the relationship in a very bad way. I can see it now, you trying to explain to her as to why, and her running to her gf's in tears...that you won't tell her you love her. poor thing. Love is relative....very dynamic.....very broad. For instance: "I love you, but I'm not 'IN' love with you" What does that mean? I have my theories and so does everyone else.

Ofcourse we can.... She is trying not to hurt your feelings. Like someone told me ...do you expect her to take a vow of celibacy? It's been months...you have not moved on, and you won't if you keep thinking what she is doing w/ other guys...worry about yourself. It's always hard to be friends w/ an ex, and this is part of the reason why.

It's not that your too young to be in love. It's just that you haven't lived that many years on this earth to understand that sometimes we do fall in love, but things end...and then in the near future you meet someone else and you realize THEN that what you thought was love, wasn't. think about this..how many guys have you dated? how many years have you been dating? think about the massive amount of guys you'll meet in Highschool and college...trust me it never ends. Even at 21, I dont know what love is...experiences shape someone's life, many experiences. Don't rush to grow up. This guy sound all wrong for you already, marijuana and alcohol..... yes you can do much better. so you wont listen to your friends...nor the guy? who are you goin to listen to? the inner voice that tells you, you dont want to be alone? sure its scary to think after you've been w/ someone that you cant live without them, and u wont know what to do..........but one day you'll look back and hopefully realize at how wrong you were in thinking that you couldnt move on without him.

I had your same belief for 20 years, and then I met a boy as the story goes, fell in love, tried to abstain for almost 2 yrs...started having oral sex...and then eventually finally we had sex...it wasnt an oops that happened it was a decision. it was torture trying to stay away from it. He had agreed, he never pressured me in any way...but one day we spoke about it, and i made the decision. I felt that he was special enuf for me to give him this. I told myself that oral sex was not sex...but i dont think it matters...what others think. Its what you believe, in the end you have to live w/ yourself and your decisions. See what will matter is the decision you two made, will oral sex make Sex after marriage any less special? I don't think so....after alll think about it you want to marry him. It will matter if you break up w/ him and the next guy you're with says oral sex before marriage is wrong..then what? you've already done it...so to him it will matter. But once you've made an agreement w/ your current boyfriend/future husband about oral sex/sex....thats all that matters. you both are on the same page. I think you're doing the right thing in waitin for sex till marriage, which you already know. Just never forget that its not about the sex, its about the gift for the one you marry. I forgot about the small detail that he might not be the one I marry, and gave it up...thinking oh well he'll be my husband anyways, even if you have a ring on ur finger w/ a promise saying that he will be ur husband..its easy to fall at times....when your "in love." best of luck

wow Lana..... First of all, you are not useless, fat, and ugly.......how dare he say these things? Why am I so sure of this? because you are one of God's beautiful creations, he took time to make us. Now second of all, it just sounds to me like your bf is just tired of doing all the work for sex.... This does not sound like a healthy relationship....you are worth more than gold baby so get going!!!! leave his sorry ass, you can do much better. I know its easier said then done, but as soon as a guy disrespects me I'M OUT! Hun, you need to love yourself before you love someone else, and thats the bottom line. Now dont get offended when i say that you will probably stay w/ him (even after all the disrespect he has showed you) because you are a girl and thats what women do, stick around and get emotionally abused.........so if you do then you have to learn to love urself so that u can please him.....but that will not be the end of your problems....he will still disrespect you if not one way then another....he has done it once and he'll do it again.

I have to agree w/ Caliboy.....its a mind game you have to play. I was going to tell you the same above...and yes this is how girls work, boy do I know it, I'm one of them. I hang out w/ guys mostly so I'm always giving them the inside scoops and usually , most of the time, I'm right. As for the other guys, they might be a ploy, in which she leads them on, and they become potential suitors either to fill her time w/ flirting , feeling wanted , attention girls love this, or to make u jealous...or they just happen to like this girl (if u like her, its possible others do too, right?) my bet is these r guys that like her, dont fret....you have the upper hand. you guys have a past, and it doesnt seem like she is completely over you. I bet if u do what caliboy says you'll find out what she's about.

Yea, I don't think you yourself are convinced that it won't be a failure. You are going to be hurting even worst if you get back w/ her and then realize that she was never as into it as you were. Sure your feelings are telling you , you need her badly...and the quick fix for a heart in pain is to be w/ her. You know how this is almost at your grasp, and it will make everything better....but only for a little while. I wouldn't want to put myself in a situation where I already know that this person looks at it in such a negative way. She is already basically telling you it won't work. But the naive side of people whom sometimes just want people to hold....will take over and the cycle will start over. You'll break up again she'll look for comfort in someone else's arms...and what of you? The pain will be so bad, you will ask yourself what were you thinking? She has done it once, and she'll do it again. I'm sorry that this is so negative...but i was once naive and now i realize what people are capable of. It isn't pretty.

Before even reading this...I'm going to just say that I believe sometimes half of the reasons you miss someone is you feel lonely, if there were someone else in the picture, you might not give a damn. You feel like your missing out on fun times w/ her, security now has breeched...your all alone in this world, you have to work back up your friendship and get used to hanging out with them now. Things are weird between the two of you and nobody likes those awkward moments. ok now imma go read.

hey swingfox, that is actually a great idea, not only would that email be subtle and to the point but it's a little of torture too. You have made my wheels start turning in thinking what are some of the things that would happen. My guy friend was telling me that he might be doing what a lot of guys do, which is this whole territorial thing, they want to know who's with you and all that even if not interested, just because he is a guy. I think he has got a point, becuz I wouldnt be able to explain it any other way...him having a girl and asking me questions to lead to are you seeing anyone. As for me hurting him, you should've seen the situation. It's almost like he set it up so that I would be the one breaking it all up, he didnt even want to work on that either. He just said "so thats it?" Almost like he should've said "ok see u later." Then he was like "ok if thats what you want." thats why now I have to think if he already had her lined up. he had back up...so he didnt care. As for that whole ....the new girl makes him feel wanted after i hurt him...he never once told me he was hurt by any of it, he doesnt act it, he was acting glad to be free of the chains and showed it to me by going out with the new girl. Oh well, what is done is done, sometimes u just need to talk to people outside ur circle as well.... Once, you talk about something w/ ur friends they think its something that affects you 24/7 but it doesnt. Only in the past days...and its been a week since the formal that was all.

I'm sorry to bring this back to earth but........ you are asking this why? Is it because of what you want to hear? You want to hear YES...he does miss you and think of you. But the truth of the matter is, every guy is different... depends on how into the relationship you were both were... was love there? why did u break up? in what terms? I tell myself he is w/ a new girl to forget me, cuz he is dependent, immature and not self reliable.....whatever gets me thru the day. g'nite.