LanaMachel24

Its strange that the massage thing was mentioned, just yesterday he gave me one for the second time in our relationship and it was awesome. I've told him for the last few months I will try my absolute best to overcome my fears and shyness to be able to initiate sex or just simple things like kissing. He honestly expects it should happen overnight. He knows all about my past, I was sexually abused by my father. My boyfriend also was the one who pushed me a month and a half ago to bring all of that out in the open to my mother and father. Things are very difficult for me right now, but I assume my b/f thought this would make all of my issues suddenly disappear, but it hasnt. It has brought all of these issues back to the front of my mind and life. I understand my boyfriend is tired of having to be the one to start everything and it isnt fair, but no matter how hard I try, I'm too scared that he is going to throw another cut down at me and it'll shut me down that much more. He doesnt realize how much his words stick with me and hurt. I know I have the choice to either put up with his crap and learn to deal with it and learn to be affectionate toward that person or do the smart thing and move on, and since I dont feel strong enough to leave him, I guess I have to learn to deal with it until I've had my fill of it. I just hope for my benefit, I get my fill sooner rather than later. Thanks again you guys.

My boyfriend of 9 months has a high sex drive too, but he assumes I have NO sex drive because I cant initiate it at all. Every time I'm around him I want to have sex, I want to touch him, the problem is I cant do anything. I just freeze up. I dont know how to communicate with him at all about this because he just becomes angry and accusational saying I act like a guy friend not a girlfriend. I'm too scared that I'm not attractive enough or I cant do anything right and hes going to complain to even touch him, and he complains about having to start it every time.. I do know its unfair for him to have to do this, but I dont know how to overcome my fear and TAKE what I want when I want it ya know. I'm too shy I guess, but its causing serious problems...can anyone tell me how to just let go and as Nike says "just do it!"?

My boyfriend and I are both 24 years old, we've been together for 9 months now and I can count the times we've kissed on my 2 hands. Not counting the peck I get in the morning when he leaves for work. When the issue is brought up he blames me, saying I'm not affectionate, and I act like I want to be anywhere but there with him. I'm DYING to touch him, hug him, cuddle, kiss him, have sex, but I do admit I'm VERY VERY shy and I cant DO anything. I'm afraid to touch him unless he touches me first or TELLS me hey rub my back or whatever. Is it my fault? I mean the only time he touches me is when hes ready to have sex...and even then its just that, sex. No touching, no foreplay, just pulls down my pants, hes ready, we do it, and its done. Then everything goes back to normal as if nothing happened. What the crap? Ya know...whats going on here. I just cant imagine this being ALL me ya know...