hazeleyed

Okay People, I am trying to lose weight and for some reason I cannot stick to a routine. I have given myself a time to lose a certain amount of weight yet I still cannot work out everyday. I dunno why?!!! Last summer I lost a lot of weight but that was only because I stuck to a daily routine and night work out. I did cardio in the morning, weights, and situps/pushups and pilates. This summer I cannot force myself to do much. Maybe I need a person to push me? I dunno!?! Any HELP would be greatly appreciated because I am getting hard on myself and I just make myself feel worser instead of better. Which in return doesn't accomplish anything.

Paige123: Time does heal all wounds because as time passes the pain, the anger and feelings we had start to vanish and we start growing within ourselves. If there is no contact we start realizing how much better it was without this person. We remember the good things as adream and let it go. As soon as you start the self healing it all starts getting better and you start laughing again.

Hi Scotcha, My friend confronted me about my behaviour and he said that I am stopping myself from healing and I am only depressing myself. He said I a msleeping too much and that is a big sign of depression, also eating a lot as well. I need to step out of it, and I am trying. Today I made a sechdule of my work out and eating and studying...hopefully I can follow it... I dunno I dunt feel like meeting people because they only hurt me. No I am not playing the victim or anything but my ex really damaged my trust in people. So I thought its just best to stay away from them rather than getting to know people. My friends introduce me to guys and I add them on MSN but after 2-3 talks I just block and delte them. I have no desire to meet guys...

Dear cute Band Rat, It isnt about you being wrong or right. Its just about making bad choices and right choices. What you did was a bad choice but you made it and now all you can do is learn from it and try not to repeat it. I would say that you need to help self respect and dignity so that you do not call him ever. I dont know much about your situation but all I can say is there is no use callin someone who makes you do things like that or makes you feel weak. Find the strength within yourself to get up and move on. If you feel like calling him, call the kids help phone or call a friend...list all the bad things u dunt like about him and look at it everytime u want to cal him up. Best of luck

Hi, I just have a few questions for people who are healing. Do you see yourself isolating yourself from people? I have been broken up with my boyfriend for about 3-4 months and I just stick to myself now. I dont have wishes to go out with my friends, nor do I want to meet new people. I use MSN but I hardly talk to anyone anymore. I am on guard with people 24/7 and if someone tries to compliement I usually ignore it. Relationship wise, people talk to me about it. My bestfriend says I am just running away from relationships. But I dont want any because they all seem to end bad and I just dont feel like focusing my time and energy on stupidity. People who will get upset, angry or hrt and than I would have to sit there or help them through it. I know all this sounds selfish but if you read my previous thread you would understand maybe why I feel some of the things I feel. I do get lonely because my ex and I practically lived together for 2 years but now I just dont have the motivation to do anything. I have been wanting to work out for 3 weeks but I just cant get that something to start, I sit in front of the tv, I garden, I talk to my parents but that is how far it goes. I just feel empty and alone now which I dont always mind...but I dunno...

Dear teacup, I feel for you because while growing up I actually did face a lot of horrible issues in my life which made me the victim. After a while I didnt know how to stop the cycle of me being a victim so it just happened everyday. Maybe you should really look at how you act around people and how you think about everyone? As for the abortion issue, no one can really know what a girl goes through when she is pregnant unless you are the girl. No one knows what thoughts or fears goes through the girls head when she needs to make a choice that will determine not only her future but the future of everyone around her including the baby. Its a tough choice, cannot be simply be simplified. Just my thoughts...Instead of trying to see the world as they are out to get you, or seeing the faults of other people...see the goodness behind them. The world will not change, only you can change yourself and how you see the world around you.

I am not offended. I am just thinking that we can say that about guys too. We can majority of the guys go for "thin girls, who drink , smoke up, etc" But that would only be what I think and what i know from my experience. People can possibly agree or disagree with me depending on their own experiences. Does that make sense? Just because you have had bad experience with girls doesn't mean that every girl you find or have will be the same. Just stop looking and let the universe take its way.

I know you are her boyfriend but your job isnt to babysit the girl. Tell her that she needs to get back into schooling and explore the options of why she doesn't go to school and skips classes. Also if she doesn't want to stop skipping and its not your cup of your tea, you can break it off.

Kevin I do not think its true, I think you might be going for those type of gurls because you might not have the self-esteem or the love for yourself to attract someone whose down to earth, loving, caring and who appreciates an honest, romantic guy.

Why not talk to him about it? Ask him straight out and tell him that you want him to be honest with you. IF he really doesn't have anything bad in mind than why lie at all? HE could have simply said "yes i know her".

Jchan, do you know her personally to call her names? "just remember you're nobody's B****. she is one. but you're not". No , you only know what is being told here and from your personal experience. Maybe she isnt anything of what has been posted. Feel free to advice, i am not saying people's advice is bad...hell people wouldnt agree with some of my stuff but we have no right to call other people names. As for her slaving him around and stuff...I think theres more to the story, hence her being confused and not knowing whether she should leave himor not because if UR gurl was lying to you whut would u think?? Yet you still loved her, invested time and energy into the relationship...

Nope I am not justifying anything. All I am saying is that she was wounded and this man probably casted all his negative issues about himself onto his ex. WHile she was like a sponge who took it and once it was too much she went into a survival mode herself. Sometimes when you go into such modes you cannot think about anything what is right or wrong. He's coming on here with only his side!!!

Well you sound like a bright women just hit a road in your life that is a bit bumpy but I am sure you can get past it. Keep trying with the job searches because once you get a job you will be set. Use the time you have now to grow within yourself. If you feel that he is more knowledgable than start gaining knowledge. Just because you do not politics does not mean you dont need to be with him. People have different tastes, different things they like.

Rihianie, what you are feeling is normal because I mean he was your life for the entire 15 months and I guess you left all your friends for him as well. What you need to start doing is stating why you broke up with him and write it out in a piece of paper or wherever. Look at those reasons and are they valid enough for you? We don't know much just thatyou are sufering from a break up. "I guess things would get better if I could get myself together, apply for some jobs, meet some people, find a new apartment... But I just don't have the energy... All I wanna do is sleep and forget about all this and don't wake up. I don't know what to do, I'm just feeling sorry about myself and cannot believe why I put myself in this position in the first place... " Sleeping all day is a type of depression and you do not want to do that. I suggest going for a walk or taking up exercising to get you through the days. Just for today you need to state the reasons for why you did what you did. You can get a job, what is your qualification? I suggest try monster.ca I am here for you , just like al the other people on this discussion board. Feel free to IM if you want.

Well, lets see what were the reasons of the break up? Also you lying to her shows that your not a very trustworthy person and she doesn't know if she wants to continue this. The reason she probably still talks to you is because she misses you and what "good" it used to be. She doesn't miss the bad and she doesn't miss and that is why she says "we are good friends". She is denying that anything is ended and what she feels is that she wants to keep you around because she doesnt want to feel the pain of a breakup. Also her going out and wanting to go out with her guy friends its all normal...let her solve her confusion and I suggest you stop hanging out with her. Only than you will know what she really wants. Its not about having you wrapped around her finger or anything...it has something to do with the whole trust issue and the whole hitting....

Obviously she will say that because she doesn't know how long or what else you can lie about. GeeZ! She's not treating you like * * * *, she is trying to figure out if you are really worth the tears, the pain. Also in your previous post you mentioned that she hits you. Hunni, if she hasn't hit anyone but you I think your a bad influence and she should just leave you and also you two aren't meant to be together.

haha, or we can advise to simply leave him because he is not worth her time because he will continue lying for the rest of his life like most liers do. As for her anger she can get counselling and find someone Who will really appreciate her.

Yes we do get to hear the side of one person whether its his fault or not. We will give him advice such as "leave her" As for me "extrapolating too much from one comment and make assuptions based on that". I have read a few of his posts and its quite noticeable what the real truth might be and that his story isnt it. He just wrote to feel good what ever lier does..LIE for sympathy Its too bad we cannot advice the girl...

Yes no abuse is good at all because it only causes pain and leaves tons of scars. Although mental and verbal is not an excuse for hitting it may very well tell you why she did what she did and that answers Horak's curiosity. Lying can be very frustrating for other people especially if you are doing it for such small things. Small lies become big lies and the other person is left to second guess what is t he truth and what is a lie. I think it goes further than violent person being violent. The person who is all of a sudden being violent feels that she or he has no power over anything because the other person (in this story) is lying...obviously we have no control over the lies and the things our partner can be doing so we feel powerless. I am not denying people have the right to get away from violence...all I am saying is that people shouldn't just look at it from one view...there are 3 truths. One is from his side, the other is from her side and the 3rd is the real truth....remember it

Also I dont need to prove hes lying he already admits that he lies and any girl would feel insecure when her man lies. thereforeeee I can understand where all her pain and suffering comes from. " I needed it to, so we decided to break up. I am very optimistic about our future and think we will work things out, but for now I'm not sure. She says she doesn't have any trust in me anymore because I tend to lie about pity things, but nothing to over-the-top"

Abuse doesn't have to be him laying a finger on her. It can be verbal and mental. I am not saying that he is lying, what I am suggesting is that there is a bigger picture to it and before people say "get away from her" they should know the whole story. It shouldn't just be this way.

Actually DN I did read what he said and posted what I thought on the basis of my understanding. "She is the nicest girl anyone has ever known so I was wondering why such a sweet and innocent girl would flip out the way she does sometimes". All this should be a hint, if she was the nicest girl and would never hurt someone than how come all of a sudden she gets into a relationship with Horak and starts abusing? THAT IS ALL I AM SAYING. If you read he says any advice or comments would be great which is what I did. There is no 'side' when it comes to hitting a partner - it's just wrong unless in self-defence." I dont agree that there is "no side". Both might be abusive but one is coming on here and writing stuff and or blaming another to get the sympathy or whatever to feel better about themselves. I have seen it happen so that is what I meant about not "believing whatever I read" NOT that I did not read the forum before I gave my 2 cents.

Sorry that I cannot do because I dont believe whatever I read and I do not just believe Horakz side just because he posted on here. Excuses or no excuses.

Understandable that domestic violence under no situation is good. But I am just thinking of why she would go off board and hit because I know personally abuse happens when we are not getting something or sometimes we are with people who bring those bad things upon us. Maybe horak was a bad example for her.

well i think she might have reasons for going off board like that. I understand it was wrong of her but you guys really dont know her to take Horak's side. Maybe what he said was verbaly abusive or something like that. People usually go off board like that when they are not getting something repeatedly...watch the dairy of a mad black women....u will know what i mean