hazeleyed
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I remember the days we used to walk hand in hand But now days you don't even want to give us a chance As the clouds come over the rain pours down on me As my body soaks and I feel the rain the memories of you and I pass right before my eyes I remember everyone telling I deserve better I don't realize my worth But I continued staying with you upon deceiving myself I thought you would change, I dreamt of us being happy But as years passed you remained the same one I tried to get us help but it would only work for a few days You would buy me presents and the make up to go with it We would laugh for a evening, make love all night The next day would be the same as every other day where the screaming would start I thought something was wrong with me but the truth was it was you all along I fell for your tricks, I gave in to your games giving excuses that I loved you to death Sometimes when you weren't home I would pick up your clothes as tears rolled down I wished we would be happy like we were before However, its true when they say wishes sometimes do not come true One day you came home all upset and raised your hand as you set That day you not only left a print on my face but also left scars deep within I knew right then and there I needed aid but lost the courage to find some help Slowly the hospitals knew me by my name as I tried not to walk in shame I looked in the mirror at times and remember the names you called me inside I felt humiliated and insulted but I had no where to go I needed an escape plan so one day after you left I gathered my things As I took the keys my hands shivered and I felt fear deep down my spine Although I was scared I kept going. It was like something that died inside As soon as I backed away from the driveway, I looked at the brick wall house we used to call home. Now it was nothing but red bricks and over grown trees. As I reached to my best friends house he opened his arms without a sound I reached out and grabbed him and began the healing of all my wounds. Today as I soak in this rain, I remember what could have became
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When we met I was scared and nervous As I got to know you a bit I started letting go of the walls and welcomed you with open arms. While days and months passed I began to let myself go and share my world with you Little did I know that I was the only one who put all the trust in it Sometimes I laid in bed and thought of the perfect picture of us I used to laugh for no reason and dream about us getting married I remember the days we used to walk along side the lake holding hands People would see the glow on my face and automatically know I put my dreams on hold for you; I left my life for you Everything I did was for you. Until one day it all hit me and it felt like I had crashed into something cold It felt like it was never ending pain where all this negativity of you came to me I couldn't believe that our perfect picture was torn into pieces As I looked around all I saw was the memories of you and me I just didn't see why you had to break me and rip me apart Was I just a game? Was I just a toy? You made promises that were never meant to be true I yelled and screamed but nothing could change You just weren't the guy who was my out of my dream A couple years later I saw you and remembered all the memories As I looked away I noticed a ring on your finger I couldn't believe that it was so easy for you to move on I held my tears back as I walked past the crowd and at that moment I knew I had never moved on. At that instant I knew I had to get past my fears and start living for my happiness. The same day I laughed while tears rolled down my cheeks from my eyes.
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Thanks shelly! I really didnt think anyone would find these poems good...but thank you for appreciating them.
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I agree with all of you. But I wrote those feeling really down and upset. Its different to feel things than to act on them.
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Your right, but the sad part is some do it.
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Thanks guys!
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When I saw you for the first time I believed things would be great As months passed we got closer and closer What I didn't realize was the lies you told me over and over again The random phone calls on your phone, the messages on your computer Whenever I would ask you would make up an excuse and I would take it like a fool Until one day I got up and called the number back to hear a girl pick up on the other end I couldn't believe you had cheated, I didn't dare think you would hurt I should have known you were hiding Yet I trusted something inside those big blue eyes 2 years later I wonder why I let you affect my life so much When all you had given me was pain and deceit When all that came out of your mouth was lies after lies Why was it so hard to just let it all go and smile for once You had stolen my heart You had stolen my laugh All I did now was cry and cry until I fell asleep I walked alone and had become a joke to the world Until one day I just decided to end it all and took the pills and prayed for my call That night I closed my eyes and whispered a final goodbye
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Love is a feeling that is inside us that is alive with each breath we take. It is deep as the ocean and beautiful as anything ever made in this world. Love is unconditional, love is kind. Love should be like the love a mother and father give their children. Love so pure as the colour white. Love is something that makes you smile in the morning, gives you courage when you fall weak, picks you up from the dark and helps you cross the tunnel to light.
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Yeah..I guess we will see what happens. Thanks guys
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hes 25 ,indian male mentalityis marriage...ugh I wish I could just stay home and not deal with anyone
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But am I really ready to spend some time getting to know another guy? I just came out of a bad relationship 4-5 months ago.
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But...i dunno...lol I am just looking for excuses to hide in the corner. I am a pretty girl and I know that somewhere deep down inside me. I know I am capable of loving someone but I dont want to waste it on anyone ...the pain lasts too long...
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Hes 5 years older...done school. I am still in school. He has a transportation job where hes never really around...and I got out of a broken up relationship not to long ago...whut if i get hurt?
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Well he seemed really interested because he stayed at the store for an hour...and he asked if i was working tomorrow and said I will come again...seriously guys should I even try this?
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Hey Guys, Today I was working at my store when I was approached by this guy. His excuse was to talk to me by asking me for the price of these files. Anyway from there he started talking to me about my background, school, hobbies, he talked about his family and how he has a sister and parents are back home. Whenever my supervisor would come or if someone entered the asile he would automatically leave. Like he knew what he was doing...and we ended up chatting for about an hour and half...not sure exactly. Then he gave me his number and said I should call him and hes like if you want I can visit you tomorrow too. After he left I felt kinda happy to have had a conversation but I am not sure whether I should call him or not. I mean I have gotten out of a bad relationship and I am not sure if I am ready to even pursue a friendship with any guy...what do you guys think?
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Sitting here as the rain pours outside The feeling of loneliness arises inside The urge to be held and kissed burns inside I remember the passion we once used to share How those hugs and cuddles lit up my eyes As I felt your heartbeat deep within me I looked up and saw the love deep in your eyes I felt your hot breath on my cheek as my heart raced I grew nervous but I knew I trusted you So that night I let myself go but failed to see The true side of who you really are In the coming days after that night you changed And stopped loving me the way you did It felt like my world had fallen apart Today as I wipe my tears away I knew you were meant to go far away. I just wish that you didn't leave the traces of pain inside me.
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Hey Guys, I just wanted to let you know that me and my mom talked about yesterday and she was upset as well. She says that I took her words in the wrong way and started yelling and she was already tired from work and things got taken the wrong way. So now things are clear and its back to normal guys!!!
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So it all starts with a first meeting and ends with the last meeting. Where does love all begin and the hate starts. You trust someone and they betray you You give power to someone over your life and they deceive you farther You let someone in so close to your heart and they break it into tiny pieces You ask for reassurance and the world walks away. So where does it all lead to? Where does a person start moving past the pain? How does a person wipe their tears and move away from a place where there is nothing to gain? When do you say enough is enough? As you cry and hurt over pain depression falls over you and nothing you ever do makes you smile. Friends try, friends struggle but nothing ever gets accomplished because the happiness they want to see on your lips needs to come from inside you. You start isolating yourself from people because you can no longer deal with other people's emotions. You lay there restlessly not wanting to eat or sleep. Your sense of humor, your self esteem is down in the drain. As you look past your family you often find yourself alone and scared of starting your life fresh. You remember of the past and what it used to be could have been as tears slip down your cheeks you quickly run to hide them afraid people will judge you as some crazy person. One day you wake up and look through your old dreams and passions before you met the love of your life. It suddenly dawns on you that there is so much more to life then the box that you closed yourself around. You get motivated, you want help, and you find it. As days pass the pain lessens you start laughing again and you are even more aware of the typical hurtful guys around you. Then suddenly you do something that you never thought you would. You get up early and thank God for letting you go through the pain and aches for the couple of years. You thank him because you grew close to him by being close to yourself. You start finding beauty in the smallest things around you once again, you start loving yourself and befriending your own self besides other people. Once you are solid within yourself you attract only positive people and walk away from all the negativity you left behind!
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I guess I seek her approval in clothes is because I have always shopped with her and cannot wear anything without my parents saying "okay" too. As for double standards, mom always has an excuse and I guess younger kids do get away from a lot of things. The eldest is like a testing machine to try things on and see what works for their second child lol
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Dear Mrocza: Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your story. Yeah I agree that Ineed to realize how I feel in what I wear and pretty much screw what anyone else says about it. However, while I was growing up I was pretty simple compared to what my sister can do. Whenever I used to ask my mom if I can shave my legs she would say no, use the cream. However, when my sister was growing up she started using the razor during grade 7 or 8. I guess things like this piss me off because I never got to do things she does at the age of 16. She started getting her eye brows done, her upper lip done...she wears tight shirts and has a size of C...meh I suppose all works in the end right.
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Okay, I am breathing and am more relaxed. I have washed my face and I am writing this with a clear head now. For those who responded to my pain and hurt: thank you. As for the situation, my mother and I are not talking because shes pist off at me and I am pist off at her. I guess she isn't used to me being home 24/7 now either and nor am I. Sometimes things happen that make us both mad and we need to deal with them in a civialized manner but due to stupidity sometimes we both dont. I was thinking that if my mom thinks I am fat, ugly and what not then that is her opinion and not mine. I know what I want to be and I just need to start staying grounded and not letting things tick me off. This is just my mom the field I am going to enter will have plenty of people who will tell me Icant do anything every step of the way. I cant let anyone ruin my life by what they think about me. My mom doesn't know what goes on in my life, all she knows is what I let her know. I am a good person atleast I think I am. I agree my self esteem is down in the gutter but I know that the only place it can go from here is up. I will be okay, and I have you guys here at enotalone to help me through days like these. I want to thank you all for taking the time and lending me your shoulders to cry on. As I discussed with RayKay, I will continue my diet and working out because I want to achieve my goals not for anyone but for me and my self esteem. I want to live a healthy and wonderful life ahead of me.
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Ta_ree_saw: Thank you for the compliment I hope someday I can see the beauty and my mom can too...
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Ta_ree_saw, as a little girl I always wanted to look nice. As I hit teens I was the first to grow. By grade 8 I was a 32 C. Then in high school I had to take up BC and thats where my breasts gained the most weight. I honestly just want some love and acceptance right now rather than when I lose weight. Isnt that what unconditional love is? Seeing the beauty even in the ugliness of it all?
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what should my reactions to her "not talking to me" be? She doesnt seem like she wants to talk to me anymore.
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Ta_ree_saw: Maybe its because I am turning 20 and people start asking for a girls hand in my culture. I have heard her say "girls should always maintain themselves". MY moms done a lot for me and my sister. She used to buy our clothes over hers. My mom put our needs over her needs...I guess it just hurts when she says things like this but maybe I am just a spoiled brat too. Maybe I just expect too much from people...I dont want people to praise me...just love me and accept me for who I am. I want her to tell me if certain things look okay on me but with gentleness and kindness. I dont want to feel bad about the way I look all my life, I dont want to feel that being busty is a sin. I just want to be loved..