Slightleejaded

Hey there... Having read and re-read your post, might I ask first how old all the participants in your dilemma are? Your current relationship sounds like it's based solely on sex, do the two of you do anything outside of making out and having sex? If not, get out now, it won't get better. Sweetie...if you have so many doubts so soon into your relationship might you consider that it's just not meant to be? And if you can't stop thinking about your ex, is it fair to anyone involved to continue your current relationship? It sounds like you might require some serious alone time, put everything into perspective and then decide what you want. You have to put you first, and if your needs (communication) aren't being met, then why stay unhappy? Just my opinion Stay Safe SlightleeJaded

With Broken Wings With broken wings, will she fly again? With a crushed heart, will she love no more? Is her spirit lost forever? Can He heal her soul? Will she believe someday? Will she find her way? Back from the darkness She will fly again She will soar up high With beautiful wings of a butterfly Her heart healed Her spirit found Her faith inside She will never hide With her new found wings, She will fly She will discover her colorful beauty That has been locked inside Beauty that comes from being who she is From life’s lessons She has lived She will grow stronger To love and to give And so, With beautifully mended wings, She will love again, In her heart she will find peace again, She will learn to trust again, And with her heart full of laughter and joy She will soar again. © Copyright ~*~SlightleeJaded~*~

Thanx to everyone that took the time to respond...I appreciate the advice immensely. I have decided that no matter what it is that I am feeling, until I get the reassurance that I think I need, I won't be verbally expressing myself. I guess this is most likely the mind of my jaded side making this decision but I'm tired of being rejected or hurting myself...I agree I need to slow down and look at things from the outside. Thanks T

Sure it's possible, if a couple can grow apart why can't a friendship? Don't feel sad, be happy that you had the experience of having that friend for 10 yrs and wish her well. Who knows maybe in ten yrs you two will still be in contact even if only an occasional note to say hi or you'll bump into each other at a party. Stay Safe T

Where do I begin? OK...some background...I'm a 29 yr old single mom who lives in her mother's house. It souonds lame but it's a great situation. Anyhow, I have always had bad luck in relationships. I seem to find the worst of them, like a billboard. So I decided to take a sabbatical from dating again after my last relationship broke up suddenly leaving me heartbroken, bitter and jaded. I dated casually for six months...hey who am I to turn down a free meal and movie, but nothing ever clicked. Then two months ago I met my guy at a party of a mutual friend, and we clicked immediately...I even brought him home with me that night, which was something I have NEVER done. He is the complete opposite of any guy I have ever dated. First and foremost he's a devoted dad, I haven't dated a guy with children since becoming a mom. Hmmm...He and his ex split three yrs ago and he's been in one relationship since. He sees his daughter every Thursday and every other weekend and the relationship they have is amazing. But he's amazing in every way...sweet, attentive, caring, passionate, quiet, laidback, easygoing, loving but shy and reserved. He is so unreadable, he's not much of a talker and I have no idea whether we are on the same page. I guess in a way our relationship seems day by day, and I want reassurance (but don't know how to ask for it). I'm used to guys manipulating me into thinking they love me. Then I try convincing myself if they love me then I should love them back ... I never said it was a logical way of thinking ... but for the second time in my life I think I'm in love. But in all honesty it's so different this time I have never felt like this, when I imagine my future it's with him, as a family, our children and us together, I get butterflies when he kisses me, I miss him when we are apart, I tingle when he touches me, it's just incredible...it's like a fairytale, it's almost too good to be true. Now this is my problem...I'm doubting myself, do I love him? Can it really be love? Or am I just caught up in a moment? Desperate to not be alone? And if it is love, how do I tell him? I've tried to drop hints about falling for him, I've left him little notes, asked him to catch me, even whispered it when I think he's sleeping but they always go unnoticed. Please offer some advice...because right now I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I need to know if this is mutual or if I should move on before I invest anymore of my heart. Thanx Stay Safe T

I was just surfing around and came accross this post...all I can say is wow...at first I thought it was just the mindless rant of someone to bored to make any sense...but it's intelligent, witty, though provoking...I LOVE IT

Hmm... this is a good one, there's a few of them that stir up something inside. Sometimes the moment the song is on just makes me think about certain times in my life and that memory can occasionally open a flood gate of emotions...anyhow, those songs... God's Will -- Martina McBride So Sick -- Ne Yo Arms Wide Open -- Creed You're Beautiful -- James Blunt The Reason -- Hoobastank In The End -- Linkin Park I Can -- Nas I'm sure I can go on and on but those are just a few from my playlists that I can relate to emotions...

If it's bugging you follow your gut and ask him, otherwise your doubts will eventually get the better of you and you'll start looking for other things to be "a little off", trust me I speak from experience. Only in my case it wasn't phone numbers for councellors it was numbers for ministers and a list of things to do as if for wedding plans, send out invitations, call caterer, confirm band, etc. I didn't ask any questions, I just let my imagination wander and within a month I came right out and accused him of living a double life. I may have destroyed a perfectly good thing (I'll never know) all because he was planning to have his grandparents renew their vows for their 50th wedding anniversary and I was too stubborn to ask! Good luck... Let us know how it turns out!

I've been with Evan for almost 8 months now, and I can count on one hand how many times he's told me he loves me. When I approach the topic, he says "you know how I feel, I just have a hard time saying those words", but he can tell my three year old he loves him all the time. We have our troubles, but with everything else going on (see Relationship Conflicts) I need some reassurance. Maybe just confirmation that I didn't throw away a 7 year friendship for a man who won't let me in. What do I do? Any ideas? I've tried not to prevent this from becoming an issue but I'm scared that I may have made a big mistake...this is the first time I've ever put a man before my friends, cause in the end I've always needed my friends in the end. I not so nicely told my bestfriend to go to h - e - double hockey sticks, that I didn't need her or her vicious ways affecting my life anymore. Which in all honesty was probably the best decision I've made this year. But now I find myself questioning my decisions cause even after all of this he still can't tell me he loves me. Should I give him an ultimatum or just wait it out! In my heart I really believe this man ws meant for me in sooo many ways. Please help, any and all feeback will be appreciated! Luvs

So the I have a feeling this is just the beginning...this is a cut and past I received from Mel just moments ago, keep in mind I haven't had ANY contact with her since Sunday when she told me to take a long walk! I did do my best to edit the profanity...just wanted to do as little as possible to give you the full effect. "And for the record your boyfriend manipulated you into believing nothing but lies. I told him about you dancing, your miscarriages and your ex eh? Well is that a fact? Tea. Do not write me anything. I dont want to hear from you. So sad. It really is. The friend that I care about the most has such little faith in me. You taught me something. Never trust another b***h again. How ******* dare you acuse me of ****. This will bite you in the * * * Tea. Escpecially when you find out it was all horse****. You pushed away a good thing and all for what? A man that wouldnt even tell you he loved you more then half a dozen times in seven months? I know you have made an excuses for every bull**** excuse he has come up with to cover his butt, but what solid excuse do you have for not beleiving someone you called your best friend. Some best friend you are. Yes I realize I never gave you my side of the story but keep in mind before I gave you my side you told me you believed Evan. I dont need this **** Tea. You made your decision and I hope it is easy for you to live with. We have 7 years of history. I am dumbfounded right now. I cant even write anymore. I wish you and Evan the best. I really do." So now I have her side right...some side...I know for a fact she divuldged the above information and much more to Evan as there were others in the room that were awestruck that she would do that to me...some even surprised because even they didn't know some of my most intimate details. And in Evan's defence, no he rarely says I love you, but he proves it to me everyday, for the most part. Yeah I wish he'd reassure me with those three little words a little more frequently, but I'll take what I can get. So now I ask is there a change in anyone's opinion, what should I do? Any help is better then dealing with this one alone! Thanks in advance!

Hey there... was hoping to have received more feedback by now but either way, I have decided to trust my gut instincts in this one ... though it hasn't been an easy decision...simply I can't trust my bestfriend. I have been given no reason to believe anything other then what I have shared her, which mean I believe Evan. Unfortunatelt that means throwing away a seven year relationship and my son's godmother, but with friends like her I really don't need enemies. Since this was written the other day, I've just kept hearing more and more evidence against her. Why if my boyfriend was coming on to her at the bar or groping her or anything of the sort why would her husband intentionally apologize for his behavior...not to mention that she still hasn't tried to justify, explain or defend what happened that Saturday night. Instead I got told she never wanted to speak to me again and if I believe him over her then I am stunned and I'm just going to get hurt. I've been swamped with rumors and stories including being told to watch my back where she's concerned she's intentionally set out to hurt anyone who might be happier then her...which results to the majority of the planet apparently. I love Even and though we have our problems I just can't believe he would betray me with her, when he knows that she'd come running to me, cause well, that's just the way she is. So I'm sure there will be more to write on this one, b ut for now...the boyfriends has been chosen. Thanks for the feedback, and please if there's anything else that might make me feel better about this I'd gladly take any and all input. Thanks Again All My Gratitude

Thanks for posting this...my brother and sister in law have a similar problem, my sister in law has never been able to achieve an orgasm, but instead of lying about it she jsut doesn't have sex with him at all. MANY women, myself included can have problems reaching a climatic state. Fear of the unknown is usually the case with younger girls...but she's right in telling you it's not you, often the guy has little control over the situation...if a man suffers from premature ejaculation it's not exactly something he's proud of right. Nor is it really his fault either. Sometimes communication during sex is the key, sometimes the woman needs do for herself before she can show you what to do. Has you partner ever had an orgasm? Does she masterbate? If so, can she get herself off? If not, would she consider it? Finding her own climax point can help her to better tell you what you need to do. But please if you love each other, don't blame yourself or her either, have you considered that maybe she doesn't need an orgasm to feel completely satisfied with you. Don't be hasty -- think what you would do if you had an erection issue be it premature ejaculation or no erection at all. Believe it or not it sounds like she did what she did cause she loves you!

Only advice I have is...if it's yours and you want it back...either get someone to intervene and get the stuff for you or if you feel you are ready to face him go but take a relative or a friend but do not go alone! Whatever you do go on a good emotional day...ex's seem to sense vulnerabilty and weaknesses like bad emotional days...just my two cents worth...

I haven't put much thought into that these days...things I take for granted...hmmm... I'm a single parent who lives with my recently separated mother and my three year old son, so I'd have to say the one thing I take for granted most is my mother...she is ALWAYS there for me, good, bad and indifferent...as of recently I'd have to say as far as friends go, my mom is the best friend I have. ~*~If friends were flowers, it would be my mother I'd pick~*~

OK...this isn't going to be easy but I need an outside opinion! I'll start as close to the beginning as I can. My bestfriend, Mel, whom I have had a rocky friendship with for seven years, but has recently reunited with her estranged husband, George, after he abandoned her and her then 3 month old daughter over a year ago and my boyfriend, Evan, whom I have only been with for 7 months...apparently had a situation when they accidently bumped into each other at a bar while I was out of town for the weekend. Allow me to elaborate...the story starts six months ago...the first time I introduced Evan to Mel (who is still separated from her husband at the time), at the bar where Evan and I met a month before. Well doesn't Mel proceed to get intoxicated and start making out with ME in the bar, then MEL ASKED Evan to take HER home with US so she can do what she's wanted to do to me while he watched. That doesn't happen but the next day she told every one else we associate with that Evan was all over her, though I never left the two of them alone. Now did I drink half the amount that Mel had that night...Fast forward, Evan has an issue with trusting me, I got caught lying to him early in our relationship, but it doesn't help that every secret I ever kept from him intentionally or not was divulged to Evan by Mel. A few examples...that I had more then one miscarriage before I ever met him, the fact I got married when I was eighteen to a man already married to another woman, the fact I my son's father is a crackhead (though wasn't at the time I got pregnant), and the fact I used to be a stripper, long before I ever met Evan -- But keep in mind that I did it (stripped) to pay off a very large debt Mel had incurred as well as to keep a roof over her and her daughter's head for over a year while she spent her life high and drunk. So trust is an issue, mostly thanks to her...fast forward...Evan who doesn't drink shows up at the bar with some of his buddies, Mel and George who are hammered are there with some of theirs, the story goes that George threatened to take Evan out side if he ever came on to Mel again...Evan took it at face value (they were really drunk apparently) and instead of stupidly fighting with someone who was that completely intoxicated was pointless and a complete waste of time, decided it was a good time to leave, he gathered his buddies, low and behold, his best friend Raj is found liplocked with his hands up Mel's shirt by Evan...among others... KEEP IN MIND I AM FOUR HOURS AWAY TENDING TO AN ELDERLY GRANDPARENT! The next morning Evan calls and tells me the story as I know it above, along with some other things that really don't matter nor fit in the story...I finally get home that evening and call Mel to ask why George would ever think that Evan was interested in her...I wanted my bestfriend's side of the story...instead I reach George, who apologized profusely for his drunken behavior and asking me to pass it on to Perry, all after telling me Mel was not home, he then gave me Mel's new cell number (apparently that changed over the weekend) She starts screaming at me that Evan is such a dog, that he was all over her groping her etc etc that I was getting played and that our friendship is over if I so much as listen to his side of the story...but if my man is lying why is there so much evidence against her? Then out of nowhere while out running errands I ran into someone who knows all the parties involved here but doesn't really hang out with us, this person started telling me about the previous evening he spent at the bar my group were at...when the conversation quickly turns to Mel and the * * * she was making of herself making out with whomever she could get her lips on! This person knows us from the neighborhood and Mel has quiet the reputation in the neighborhood. Not sure the person knew that Mel and I were as close as were supposed to because it was spoken as if it was frint page news...so basically mindless gossip. Fast Forward...I return home to call and ask her about what I had just heard...I get the phone slammed in my ear but not before being told to go take a long walk I then receive a txt message telling me I'm a fool to believe him over her, that our friendship is finished, never to call her again! Then about an hour later, Evan comes to see me, keep in mind I have been away for a few days...he comes in with his hands full and pecks me on the cheek, then spends an hour hanging out. When he did speak to me the conversation was about Mel and George and that he wanted nothing to do with them again and that if I choose to believe them, then this was more drama then he can handle and that it because of people like Mel and George that he was single when we met. Then he got up to go, he says "I'm leavin', I'll call you when I'm done at "so & so's" but he was tired and was going home to bed, he knew that I was upset that he showed up and spent his time doing anything but acknowledging me. When he did finally call it was two hours later and he acted like I was the bad guy. So now more then ever I'm having a hard time knowing who or what to believe. I love him, I really do, and I want so much to believe that he would never betray me, let alone attempt to do so with Mel, knowing what type of person Mel is...in the same breath Mel has been my bestfriend for so long, and I've loved her all these years faults and all...I guess all I'm asking for is some input on what I should do next...and if anyone can tell me when and where I became the * * * * * * * in any of this...I'd greatly appreciate it!