keenan

Oh, THAT'S original.

coffee, weed, alcohol, all in moderation: yes anything else: nah most of my friends (mostly well-educated professionals) and many of my colleagues (all academics at various levels, in various places) have this same pattern. i think smoking pot is more common than is ordinarily thought...though perhaps much more in certain areas of the country than others. i've also noticed that it's more heavily stigmatized by younger people i've met (early twenties and younger) than by people of my generation and older.

Oh, my goodness. Deep breath.

That's a good idea. Also, use a color of paper that really stands out--like bright pink.

oh, and monkeys. YUCKKKKKKKK. it's the chattering, shrieking thing. little furry virus bags. i never knew i strongly disliked so many things! what a weirdo.

clowns, elevators, blimps, and flocks of birds. clowns because of a james bond movie, i think. elevators b/c of the small space & fear of being stuck. blimps b/c they're too quiet and don't move fast. they just hover in space...waiting. very creepy. birds are the worst, though. i hate the chattering, shrieking noise they make when they cluster in trees at sunset. goosebumps just thinking about them.

It's true that many guys aren't keen on fashion...but I'm not convinced that one has to be up on fashion to be 'up' on butts. Yeah, if my husband had his way I'd wear tight jeans, a tank top, and high heels every day. Sigh. His expectations must be tempered with a little good taste and good sense.

Well...I appreciate the love and loyalty expressed here, but sometimes I just really want to know if something looks less than great. If I happen to ask my husband for his opinion, it's probably because I trust his judgment, and frankly...he's the only other person in my house. If a girlfriend were there, I'd want her opinion, too. The thing is, I already know he likes my *body*, but sometimes I really want to know whether he likes my body in a particular pair of jeans. Some cuts are just more flattering than others. I think it was NJRon who had the best line...something about x not doing you justice. That's spot-on perfect. I'm a realist: I'll happily divide my pants and skirts into 'good * * *' and 'bad * * *' piles, and lay aside for a rainy day the things that I find cozy but my husband finds frumpy (belted sweaters...he hates 'em, so I don't wear them on 'dates'.) I don't take it badly. (Of course, sometimes I just disagree and wear what I please.)

...or bluer ones.

I don't support the premise of the book, I'm just reporting it. If I were interested in somebody, I'd smile and find an excuse to make conversation, and see where it naturally leads. I'm a little shy, so I don't know if I'd make the proposition for a date, but I'd make it clear that if he asked, my answer would be yes. I agree--there is a political component to this. To act as though I'm nothing more than an object to be 'shopped for' would be insulting to me & to all women.

girl: samantha (sam), madeline (maddie), katherine (katie), alaina, rachael boy: david, mark, brian, steven, andrew I generally like girl names that can be shortened to tomboy variants as nicknames, and I like more traditional boy names. The # of syllables really depends on the last name, though.

Yeah, make sure he doesn't mistake it for trash! That would be terrible.

Yep, shy guys do have a disadvantage with women who feel this way. The gist of that book, which is really popular among young women right now, is that women waste a lot of time, emotion, and mental energy trying to figure out if a guy likes them, trying to figure out whether he wants 'more' from a relationship, trying to rationalize his ambiguous behavior by assuming that he's shy, or wounded, or generally unable to assume the role of Tarzan. The message in the book is that women just need to let go...because if a guy is really into them, nothing will stop him from approaching her, getting her number, and pursuing her with assertiveness. She will have no doubts that he likes her. It's a popular book in part because it releases women from nearly all of the stress that comes from trying to figure out whether and how much a guy 'really' likes her, and how coy or assertive to behave with him, early on. I think that all shy guys should know that this book is so populuar, actually...because it surely does make life more difficult for them. Check it out: link removed

Yeah, I don't know where you work...but since it's a drive through could you just slip your number in the bag of whatever you hand him? Cute, flirty, and no pressure. LOL.

you're in the bay area, yes? i don't know about dating people, per se, but for meeting people you have lots of options. off the top of my head: university courses (day or evening), museum/symphony/ballet/art museum weekend 'workshops' or classes for the public, outdoor adventure groups (kayaking, hiking, biking, rock climbing, sailing), book clubs, book readings at bookstores, live music shows (clubs, concerts, or festivals), random meals in restaurants while sitting at the counter, not a table (especially brunch), dog parks (uh...bring a dog), walking the beach, wine tasting events, cigar bars, etc. etc. grab a hobby or a budding interest, and run with it.

Ditto. Don't ask. That doesn't mean that you can't be really warm and friendly with him, so that he realizes that he might have a chance IF he asks...but I would wait for him to seize the reins at this point. Good luck!! Keep us posted....

Ah. That's terrible, and I don't do it. I don't think many guys bother with fake smiles either, so I've rarely (never?) experienced it. Sorry about that. Re: the talking to a guy to keep him from guessing. Keep in mind that a lot of women still subscribe to the notion that if a guy is interested, he'll approach first...and to save potential hassles/heartbreak, she should hang back and wait. This is exacerbated by books like "He's just not that into you" and such....

Yeah, don't sweat it. Dako is good at sharing.

How old are you?

Oh...but I didn't mean it quite that way. Any smile from me is a real smile, but it's just friendly--it basically just means "hi there." I'm from the midwest originally (close to Norman, actually--you know that people there just smile a lot). But a smile +++ the other goodies likely means HI THERE (big boy). Neither version is fake, they just mean different things. It's true that shy guys might confuse the two, especially if they don't get a lot of HI THERE smiles...if they regularly just see friendly smiles, it's pretty hard to know the difference.

Since this thread has derailed a bit (snicker), I have to ask: Shy, have you ever considered working for a greeting card company? You'd be very good at it.

that! is! brilliant! thanks for the great idea.