Becks23
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It's an awkward situation between us now.. I know all about him and his past and he knows all about mine.. We have both had the same problems with partners hurting us and cheating on us, so we have comforted each other over the years.. I don't wanna drag him into the mess of my last break up which is why I think it might be a crush but I don't wanna look back and think 'well we didn't try so i'll never know'.. I see him nearly every week as he works away during the week.. We catch up most weekends and it's both of us who does the running to meet up and get together.. I just aint sure what to do or how to handle it.. I just wanna make sure that I don't lose him as a friend!!! xxx
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Hi Kellbell, Thanks for the reply.. The advice is your post was very good and quite interesting.. I think I know myself that it was a mistake but I feel that if I let it, it could be a regular thing with him.. The only thing I worry about is that if I lie low for a while and I don't contact him, he will feel as if something is wrong.. He knows me inside out and he would probably think that I am ignoring him if I don't contact on a regular basis.. It's a very confusing situation cos I care so much about him and he is a true friend but then on the other way of things I think he would make a great boyfriend.. He has been hurt in the past, just like me and I think we would be good together.. I am still healing myself over my break up so I do think it's best to stay friends for the moment.. My mother worries me cos she said that we will end up being together later on in life.. She thinks the world of him.. I've told her the situation and she says good for you, at least I know him! lol.. xxx
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Not quite sure how to handle this one
Becks23 replied to goldennugget's topic in Relationship Advice
I would tell her the truth.. Look at it the other way, if your boyfriend did that behind your back, would you want your friend to tell you? I would want my friends to tell me something like that.. Honestly is the best policy.. Becks xx -
Hiya guys, I haven't posted on here for awhile with a problem! I would like some advice on a situation I have gotta myself into too.. Here goes I'll call him Terry.. I've known Terry for 17 years and I am now 23.. I went to school with him and we have always been the best of friends.. As kids and teenagers we used to knock about together with a group of mates.. He has even dated on of my best friends.. Anyway, over the last year or so he has been there for me when my bloke broke my heart and dumped me.. He gave me a shoulder to cry on and he was really a true friend.. We know each other inside out.. Anyway a few weeks ago I see him round town and he makes a fuss of me and buy me a drink.. I have never seen him in a 'I fancy you' way until the other night.. We was chatting and having a good laugh and I felt some attraction and flirting going on between us.. I didn't think no more about it until this weekend.. He works away all week and he is mainly home on weekends.. I ended up bumping into him on sat nite and he ended up staying with me and my mate.. My mate pulled his kid and it was just the two of us.. We was dancing, laughing and joking and then all of a sudden we kissed.. It felt so right and so wrong at the same time.. We talked about things in general and he mentioned to me that I shouldn't fall for him cos he said that he is a w****r and that he will only hurt me.. Is he saying this cos he made a mistake? Or is he saying this cos he doesn't know what to do? My mother has always told me that if you are friends with someone, you trust them and respect them and it's a good way to start off a relationship.. I'm alittle confused now for my feelings for him as I did have a crush on him when I was about 9-13.. Is it happening again? Please advise guys! Thanks xxx
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I personally think you need to be more patient with her.. I personally can be in the mood and want it there and then but on the other hand, if lot is going on in my life, I just can't be bothered or in the mood.. I would say it's a personal preference and everyone is different.. It's good that you have talked to her about it.. Just be there for her in everyway possible and keep patient.. Becks xx
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Trust plays a very big part in a relationship and it's kind of an important issue.. I would honestly say dump him.. Get on with your life and you would meet someone who can give you everyone you deserve.. Becks xx
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I have personally been in this situation with a friend of mine.. We have known each other years and have been best friends the same amount of time.. As we grow older, we seemed to be attracted to each other and things happened between us.. I tried to talk to him about this and he wouldn't talk to me.. In the end, he told me that he didn't have the heart to tell me that it was just sex.. I had to drag this out of him.. We are still friends and see each other occasionally (when he is drunk) and we talk but not like we use to.. I do truly believe I have lost my best friend through this.. It has also happened more than once.. I wanted it to happen, so I let it.. I think you should advise your friend as best you can and make her see that this situation could get alittle out of hand.. Do what you think is best for your friend.. Becks xx
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This is what gets me mad.. If you finish with someone for whatever reason, then let things be.. I once finished with a guy cos I was unhappy and he kept contacting me trying to change my mind so it does work both ways I suppose.. I didn't wanna contact me cos I'd finished with him.. I just can't work out the whole break-up situation.. I've just got over my ex bloke and he use to get to me and do things to get me mad, but I've played him at his own game now.. No contact is the best for both parties, gives each other time to think about the situation and then let things cool down if things have got abit heated.. I reckon if someone dumps you, you should ignore them and get on with things.. The ex always seems to do the chasing after a breakup, but why?? I can't work some people out half the time!!
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Hiya, I've recently been in a situation where my bloke dumped me because he wasn't happy.. Then a couple of days later he was ringing me and texting me.. I ended up changing my mobile number cos he kept ringing me.. Then he started bothering me at work so I told him to leave me alone cos if he carried on, I would report him to the police.. It seemed to do the trick as he hasn't contacted me for a while now.. I recently went for a drink with some friends and bumped into him.. He smiled at me so I smiled back.. He gave over to chat and I let him ask all the questions and I played against it and didn't ask him once for his opinion and thoughts.. I think it's got him thinking now!! I personally think if we had had no contact with each other, we would have spoken to each other before now.. I personally think if someone finishes with their partner, then they should leave them alone but nine times out of ten, they do ring the dumpee.. I just think if they have dumped you, why ring up??? Becks x
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friends with ex, but no going back
Becks23 replied to whatchamacallit's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I understand what you mean and to be honest, I would say it would be a personal decision to get back together. If you wanted to get back with your ex, I would suggest to think long and hard about it before making the decision. If you don't want to get back together, be honest with him. If the situation between you both is alright then don't change things unless you really want them to change! Becks xx -
Thanks guys.. I've realise that he isn't the one for me and like you say, you will know when the right person comes along.. Most of my friends are supportive and give great advice but sometimes it's nicer and easier to talk to people who don't know me.. I think i've made the right decision but things are just so hard at the moment.. I'm trying to go to new places and meet new people but i'm just stuck in the same place at the moment.. I'm trying to love and respect myself but it's very hard when people crap on you all the time! Kellbell - what's pm you anytime??? Quite new to this lark!!! My thanks to you both!
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I have really thought about things between me and my ex.. Sometimes I think about all the good times we spent together and then other time, all I think of is bad.. There is more bad than good and that's why I've tried to ignore the thoughts in my head.. I have tried to go to different places where my ex won't be but it's just not possible.. Whenever I go out on a weekend, it's like he is always there.. I just can't escape from things.. The friend who has slept with my ex is a friend who I see most weekends and we have a drink together and a chat.. She knows about the situation i've been in with my ex so it makes it more hurtful.. I want someone to love me for me and treat me with respect but I just can't seem to find people who will respect me and care for me.. I'm so down with myself tho and I can't seem to get the thoughts and feeling out of my head.. Thanks for the advice so far guys.. Please keep chatting to me.. It's helping more than you realise.. Thanks for the hugs kellbell xx
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I've felt like this a couple of times when my best friends have moved on and got themselves boyfriend's.. Everyone is different and if your best friend wants to spend time with you as much as you do him, then arrange to meet up every other month and do things together like before.. Explain to your friend that you miss their company and miss doing things together.. My best friend has been with her husband for nearly 4 years.. We have known each other for 17 years so when she married and started a family, I felt left out and not needed anymore.. Didn't see her and she did move away.. Lucky for me they move back home and I see her and the kids once a week.. It's not the same as spending time together when we was kids but we catch up and have a good old natter.. You'll meet someone and you'll wanna be spending more quality time building your relationship.. Friends will understand.. Friends are forever, but partners come and go! Chin up chick xx
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My boyfriend and I recently split up due to him not being happy.. I've posted about this before and been told I'm better off without.. I do believe this is true as he hurt me badly and carried on even tho we had finished.. I saw him out on Friday night and we ended up talking.. General chit chat and nothing more.. A friend of our's came up to us and said to him, don't you think it's about time she knows the truth and she walked off.. I asked him about this and he said it was nothing.. I left things like that and carried on enjoying myself with my mates.. I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said so I phoned him on Monday even tho we've had no contact for a while now.. Anyway, it turns out that him and her (my so called friend) have slept together on more than one occasion.. I can't believe it.. He told me it happened awhile ago now and that he has regretted it ever since.. He was drunk and it was a mistake! Blah blah blah.. I can't seemed to get him out of my mind.. I can't stop thinking about him and her and I wonder what things would be like if we got back together.. I know he has hurt me even more than before by sleeping with a friend but I just can't stop thinking about him.. Can anyone give me some advice or if someone has been in the same situation, talk to me about what they have done! I need some help coz I'm going crazy!!
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I wouldn't worry too much.. You aint following him on purpose and it seems like you are just trying to carrying on as normal.. If you see him in the street or at the beach, make sure you carry on as normal and if he acknowledges you then reply back.. If not, just walk straight past him as if you haven't seen him.. If he didn't trust you and wasn't happy in the relationship, when that's his problem.. I bet you will meet someone and wonder what you ever saw in your ex.. Stay positive and be strong.. Becks xx