Weezy

I Know exactly what you are going through. I live at home with my parents, brothers, sister, niece, my boyfriend and my child. All I ever hear is why dont I do this or that or even go kill myself, move out. All my family does is talk * * * * about my bf, why won't he get a job. I'm to the point that i just want to tell everybody to f off and be done with them. I mean nobody is any better than me, I'm put down for having a child and still living at home, for not working, not being in school. Its only my first semester off and it is for medical reasons and I still hear * * * *. I could be having a gallbladder attack, laying on the floor crying my eyes out and my brothers would ask me why my mom had my son so much. I mean this is every day, all day. I not jump to conclusions over any criticism, Its horrible. HOWEVER! (sorry about the rant) It's because they dont like themself! Next time they give you * * * *, sak them why they are so miserable, why they take intrest in your life and pick it apart till you feel worthless. (not sure if i'm putting too much of myself in here) After I aaked my family why the hell they dont have winter jobs at 26 and 32, why they have no gf, why they are still home when im the one who needs help more, guess what. their * * * * *ing turned to "your spoiled, all you do is * * * * * and act like your the boss". Man if you want to im me or email me we could have a lot to talk about.

I believe I have BPD, I am going to go to a therapist as soon as all my other medical problems are fixed but until then I feel like I am going crazy. I pop xanax, vocidin and valum like they are candy just to try and make myself normal. I can't help but snap and feel hopeless. Has anybody ever over come this? DOes anybody have any advice? Anybody else have BPD?

heh, this happened to me but I was a whole month off. My friends bday was in june and I didnt say anyting to her till july. I was like hey happy bday and gave her a card and baloon, she was like you B my bday was last month. We both laughed and now we dont say happy bday till the month after. she calls me in november now. Its funny, she turned it into something we both have fun with now. and I get 2 bdays!

The last time I cut myslef was in may of 2002, well I guess that is a lie. I got post partum depression and my and my bf had a fight and I was drunk so I carved my bf's name and thanks into my arm. That way 3 months ago, but I made it all that time fefore. Also my bf was the same way, we have ben together 2 years 6 months and he hasnt once.

my sister ran out of gas one day and pulled off to the side of the road then was hit by a drunk driver doing 85 mph. Somehow when he hit her, because she was wearing her seatbelt, her face like had hardly hit the steering wheel, her tooth went thru her lip, that was it. Then when she should have been thrown back into the seat, it broke before she could hit it and flew out the back window. like it reminds me of somebody basically sitting still in a tornado. When a stranger called to tell us she was in a sweious accident we took off to go to the hospital, sadly but didnt know we drove past the accident. I was sure she was dead, I started balling. What was weird was I was shopping with my other sis for things for my baby shower that was going to be the next day and as we left the store I thought suddenly "what if christina died and couldnt make it to my baby shower tomorrow?" and I got sad and said please let her be ok and started thinking positive things and sending positive vibes to her (cuz my philosophy class said it works) and got to my sis's appt 5 min later and heard what happened. Somehow she lived, just monday I on the same road when going to class and started crying because when I thought she was dead I wished she didn't see it coming, I knew how scared she would be. If I were out of gas my seat belt would have been off and id have been hanging out of the car and would be dead today. I am so happy everything happened so perfect and she is ok except some back and neck problems.

My parents were like this as well, I couldn't go out with friends, couldn't have friends over, couldn't take the bus home from school even. When I was 16 I couldn't handle it any more, turned to the only escape I could. I started smoking weed to just have an escape, gave up on school, lost a scholarship to a university. My mom compleatly turned on me, I went to stay with my cousin and started doing more drugs and being irresponsible and it made me feel good because I knew it got her mad. But in the end it just made me depressed and I locked myself in my room for a year w/o contact with anybody and went nuts. I don't think parents get the mental trauma they inflict by being overly protective. I was to the point that my mom didn't have to worry if I were in a car accident, I was going to kill myself. I started to cut myself, became compleatly self destructive. I find it so hard to talk to my peers now, we have nothing in common. Its like yea, I did drugs and say in my room cutting myself, what did you do? oh? go to the club? hmm... You really need to get out of the house, show them a back bone.

I even took a career class in college to figure out what I want to do, I still have no idea. My motivation is from a song "If I had a nickle for every damn dime I'd have half the time" - Modest Mouse. So I'm looking into being a radiographer, I think it may shorten my life but I have a son now.

Writing makes everything more clear, keep it coming. The more you look back and see how he manipulated you the more you will notice it daily and you will have the will to say enough.

I can not figure out what I want to do in life, I have tried to figure it out since I was 10 and I'm not 21. I seriously have thought daily about this topic and I have no clue still and I've looked into every job imaginable. I think because I have a son now Im going to settle on being a radiographer (xray tech) because the money, even though its not great I can continue taking classes and my career can move up. I have an assoicates in general studies which equals poo, with a gpa of 3.3. I enjoy art, im creative but not compleatly gifted and there are no jobs in that field unless you want to be a teacher, but I lack the social skills. If you could tell me something, anything I would love it.

Wow, this same thing happened to me. The ab was my decision because I feared telling my mom, I was 19. But about a year after the ab I found out I was pregnant again. my bf hated me for getting the ab, said I was greedy and spineless. But I went thru with it this time, my mom tried to force me to get one but now we have a 4m old baby boy. The moment I saw him was the best experience of my life. I was ready for more kids, wanted 30(maybe it was the drugs talking) but I am also on birth control now, the ring is great. I don't know if the relationship with my bf will last but I love being a mom. I'm preparing for the worse so I know my son will have a good life, I was 42 weeks along when I compleated my associates degree. I can only say I was in your situtation and it sounds like I have it easy, I live at home with my baby and bf. But your life will do a 180 no matter how easy you have it after having a baby.

Take him to court, he can pay spousal suppot. Also he can't tell you to get out like that legally. He has to have you evicted and that will give you a month. But I am passive aggressive and become evil when I get hurt, helps me get through a lot. I'm sure you have a family member or friend who you can move in with till you are better. I wish you the best, depression is horrible. I cant imagine how you feel. Keep us updated, there is a lot of good advice around this place.

Oh I had to do something crazy to get with my current bf. We were both very shy and could only talk when we were drunk or whatever. Well one time he asked me out when he was on some crazy pills and didn't remember it even happened. So I became very uncomfortable around him after that. But friends let me know he still wanted to be with me. So one night he was at a party where I was and this one girl said if I didn't go after him then she would so I had to make my move, after about 6 beers I just went up to him and said "ok, do you like me?" he nodded and the kising began. We have been together for two and a half years. I say just jump on the situtation, if it's ment to be it will happen.

yeah you are going to have to just ask. Tell her how hard it was for you to say anything and let her know if she doesn't feel the same that its ok, you don't want to ruin the friendship.

I never noticed how much people walked all over me until my bf pointed it out to me. when I noticed it I would complain to him and finally he got sick of it and started getting mad at me for letting my family and everybody else do this to me. It would cause fights between us, he would yell and call me spineless and tell me how nobody cares about me, if they did they wouldnt treat me that way. Well I went through this for about a year and then I became pregnant and I with everybody else thought the s**t hit the fan. Nobody knew it was just the tip of the iceburg. After having my baby I became relentless. I b***h at everybody now about everything but I don't when it comes to them walking all over me. I feel like they are the ones in control and I am afraid to say anything. I will yell at people about making a mess or waking my son up, anything small. But when my mom shoves medicine down my sons throat, or when my sister steals my money, clothes, jewelry, medicine or anything I just shut up. everybody thinks I'm a b***h because I basically follow them and yell all day. I have no idea how to get the backbone to stand up for the important things. It emotioally cripples me when somebody I love so much would steal my vicodin when I just had surgery, I couldn't even yell about it. I layed in bed and cried and thought of all the things I should have said and them them. I think how they always disrespect me just do things to make me feel unloved. and it takes days to get back to normal, which is bad because I have a baby to take care of and cant when I'm like that. Please let me know what works for you and I'll try to do the same.